Well, hello there. My name is Angry Black Lady, or ABL if you’re into the whole brevity thing. In a former online life, I was known as stopthemadness. And before Al Gore invented the internet, I was simply known as Imani Gandy.
You may know me from such works as Angry Black Lady Talks Shit on That Blog You Used to Read. Or perhaps you remember my famous work, Stopthemadness Sets the World on Fire. Maybe you’ve seen my ramblings on the Facespace. Or maybe you popped over from Twitter. Or maybe you’ve read my posts at Balloon Juice or The Grio. Or maybe you just landed here after a Google search gone terribly awry. In any event, DON’T LEAVE! Stay awhile.
Why? Well, I want to introduce you to my blog. It’s called Angry Black Lady Chronicles and–ooh something shiny! What? Oh.
So. This is my blog. It is a slow and steady Ooze of Awesome from my ramshackled mind, which I splatter all over the internets like so much brains on a wall. I have two personas–ooh! a penny!
I’m so sorry. So very sorry.
You see, I have ADD. And so does my blog. I write about everything from Bowls of Stupid, Assortments of Asshattery, and Goblets of WTF. I write about politics, my life (I’m a black Jew! Don’t believe me? I don’t either, sometimes!), celebrity gossip, my friends, my family, and Nate Dogg (he’s a dog — a cocker spaniel to be precise.) Sometimes I draw pictures with my finger on my iPad!
Sometimes other people, none of whom are me, will write stuff; other people like asiangrrlMN and Emily L. Hauser and Allan. And other people like Zandar, Extreme Liberal, Eclectablog, Nicholas Wilbur, and Bon the Geek.
You might think this whole operation is unfocused. But you’d be wrong; it’s so very tightly focused that its focus loses focus once you focus on it. Get it? Of course you do. It’s only the Heisenberg Uncertainty of Blogs Principle. Duh.
If you’re asking, “Hey, Person on the Internets! What’s the theme of your blog?” Well, I guess you could say the overarching theme is foul-mouthed snark and humor, with bouts of rage. “From whence does the rage come?” is what you’re asking next, right? And I’m asking right back, “Why the hell are you talking like Christopher Marlowe?”
The rage comes from my pituitary tumor, which I have cleverly nicknamed Tumer Willis. She gets angry sometimes. And when she does, well… just… don’t make her angry. Because then she makes me angry. And then it’s a whole Hulk/Green and Black Lady thing that I really don’t want to get into right now.
So take off your pants, and stay awhile. And if you have scotch, please make your way to the front of the line. If it’s blended, take your ass right back to the back of the line. Oh, and I hope you brought a change of clothes, because you will likely never be allowed to leave–Hotel California-style.
I am stopthemadness. I am Angry Black Lady. And I will figuratively blow your mind.
Oh and PS: These are my minions/co-bloggers. Fear them! Or at least read them.