Made ya look! (Another senseless race card wasted.)
Oh gimme a break, I had to do something to get your attention, because this little story cracks me up. And it actually happened… last night. For serious.
When it happened, I said to myself, “Self, you really need to remember to write about this. Maybe you should write it down right now so you don’t forget, because you know you’re going to forg–. I’m hungry.”
So yesterday I was playing QRank. It’s a daily trivia game. Daily. No more. Only one quiz per day. That’s what daily means. It’s like Chinese torture to me. I love hate blaaaargh! that damn app.
I WANT MOAR TRIVIA. You can’t expect a person like me–someone who has lost friends over games of Monopoly that got a little too competitive for some people, who then felt the need to fucking cry about it–to only play ONE COMPETITIVE TRIVIA GAME PER DAY.
It’s like you’re trying to kill me, QRank. Seriously. What gives?
A while back, I thought I’d concocted a sure-fire way to beat QRank at its own game. I played one game right before midnight and one game after midnight. “A-ha!” I thought. “If it’s one game per day, then I can play today, and then after midnight, I can play “tomorrow,” which is really today and ohmigod I’m so fucking clever.”
It didn’t work.
Then I tried to create two accounts. One on my iPad and one on my iPhone. “Ah-ha! I will become two people!”
That didn’t work either. It actually shut my phone down.
There is seemingly no rhyme or reason to QRank’s triviofascism.
So fine. I will play one measly game a day, you bastards.
Fuck you, QRank!
So there I was. Havin’ fun. Drinkin’ some wine. I had decided to leave all the $1000 questions until the end, because if I do them all at the beginning and I don’t get them right, I get pissed off and quit. (I told you; you do NOT want to play games with me!)
So I clicked one of the $1000 questions. Usually these questions are harder; they stress me out. My heart started to pound. (I know, it’s a sickness!) As soon as I saw the question, my eyes bugged out and I nearly fell off the couch on to my dog’s new ramp/stairs.
The question was–and I shit you not–the question was: “Ohhhhh yeeaaah!! Which of these is not a flavor of Kool-Aid?”
I SWEAR ON NATE DOGG’S LIFE–THAT WAS THE QUESTION! With the “Ohhhhh yeeaaah!!” and everything!
Needless to say, I started cracking up and immediately clicked over to the answer. (If I think I know the answer, I’ll click to view the choices instead of waiting for the boring “the game is letting you think” time to run out. Impatience is a virtue.) The choices were:
a) Cherry (duh);
b) Lemon-Lime (double duh!);
c) Grape (c’mon, son!);
and… wait for it: