I’ve heard of Hitler cats, but Hitler goldfish?
Fish fans Chris Schatynski, 27, and wife Sarah, 29, placed the little critter in their tank after four-year-old daughter Ellena won him at a fair.
Only then did they see his resemblance to Nazi tyrant Adolf.
Sarah, of Stockport, Gtr Manchester, said: “I was afraid he’d try to take over the tank, but he hasn’t yet.”
Uncanny, no?
Posted in Weird Ass Shenanigans, What the Crap!?
Ooookay then, what to write about? /taps finger on chin/ Hmmmm.
There is a heck of a lot going on. The swearing-in of the new United States Congress, the heckling of Israel’s Prime Minister and Interior Minister, the fact that apparently the minivan is “rising again.” Stuff that I should probably consider, analyze, weigh, pronounce upon and declare -
Oh, who the fuck am I kidding.
NONE OF IT MATTERS!
IT’S FUCKING RAINING BIRDS!
WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!
Posted in Emily L. Hauser, Weird Ass Shenanigans, What the Crap!?
Tagged birds, hand fish, science, Twitter, we're all gonna die, weirdness, WTF!?
Last year, there was a big kerfuffle over a bunch of gay penguins which where sashaying to and fro in Antarctica (it’s gotta be cold there, dontcha think?).
I like to keep apprised of penguin goings-on, so I wrote about the gay penguin phenomenon, and how some slutty lady penguin broke up a happy homo home.
Well, as it turns out, the homoguins aren’t gay at all! They’re just lonely because there aren’t enough penguin bitches around to get their stank on with: Continue reading
Posted in Cute Shenanigans, Kick Ass, LGBTQ Shenanigans, Weird Ass Shenanigans
Tagged animals, cute shit, gay penguins, gay stuff, LGBTQ, Penguins, weirdness, WTF!?
Oh gimme a break, I had to do something to get your attention, because this little story cracks me up. And it actually happened… last night. For serious.
When it happened, I said to myself, “Self, you really need to remember to write about this. Maybe you should write it down right now so you don’t forget, because you know you’re going to forg–. I’m hungry.”
So yesterday I was playing QRank. It’s a daily trivia game. Daily. No more. Only one quiz per day. That’s what daily means. It’s like Chinese torture to me. I love hate blaaaargh! that damn app.
I WANT MOAR TRIVIA. You can’t expect a person like me–someone who has lost friends over games of Monopoly that got a little too competitive for some people, who then felt the need to fucking cry about it–to only play ONE COMPETITIVE TRIVIA GAME PER DAY.
It’s like you’re trying to kill me, QRank. Seriously. What gives?
A while back, I thought I’d concocted a sure-fire way to beat QRank at its own game. I played one game right before midnight and one game after midnight. “A-ha!” I thought. “If it’s one game per day, then I can play today, and then after midnight, I can play “tomorrow,” which is really today and ohmigod I’m so fucking clever.”
Or not.
It didn’t work.
Then I tried to create two accounts. One on my iPad and one on my iPhone. “Ah-ha! I will become two people!”
That didn’t work either. It actually shut my phone down.
There is seemingly no rhyme or reason to QRank’s triviofascism.
So fine. I will play one measly game a day, you bastards.
Fuck you, QRank!
::shakes fist::
So there I was. Havin’ fun. Drinkin’ some wine. I had decided to leave all the $1000 questions until the end, because if I do them all at the beginning and I don’t get them right, I get pissed off and quit. (I told you; you do NOT want to play games with me!)
So I clicked one of the $1000 questions. Usually these questions are harder; they stress me out. My heart started to pound. (I know, it’s a sickness!) As soon as I saw the question, my eyes bugged out and I nearly fell off the couch on to my dog’s new ramp/stairs.
The question was–and I shit you not–the question was: “Ohhhhh yeeaaah!! Which of these is not a flavor of Kool-Aid?”
I SWEAR ON NATE DOGG’S LIFE–THAT WAS THE QUESTION! With the “Ohhhhh yeeaaah!!” and everything!
Needless to say, I started cracking up and immediately clicked over to the answer. (If I think I know the answer, I’ll click to view the choices instead of waiting for the boring “the game is letting you think” time to run out. Impatience is a virtue.) The choices were:
a) Cherry (duh);
b) Lemon-Lime (double duh!);
c) Grape (c’mon, son!);
and… wait for it:
Or what about a bra that converts into breakfast?!
Dr. Elena Bodnar of the Trauma Risk Management Research Center invented something that could save your life! (But not from velociraptor attacks.) It’s a bra that can be converted into a gas mask.
Nope, not kidding:
At the 2009 Ig Nobel Prize ceremony, Public Health Prize winner Dr. Elena Bodnar demonstrates her invention – a brassiere that, in an emergency, can be quickly converted into a pair of protective face masks, one for the brassiere wearer and one to be given to some needy bystander. She is assisted by Nobel laureates Wolfgang Ketterle, Orhan Pamuk, and Paul Krugman.
Watch the video. Dr. Bodnar is hilarious, and looks like a German Meryl Streep. She gets extra points for slapping a bra on Paul Krugman’s face: Continue reading
Posted in Lady Bits, Weird Ass Shenanigans, What the Crap!?
Tagged bra, butts, Dr. Elena Bodnar, fart, gas mask, Pajiba, subtle butt, weird lady products, weirdness, WTF!? gas mask bra
If you know me, you know I love me some Arrested Development. In fact, if you read closely, I sometimes slip Arrested Development quotes into my posts. That show is amazing; no matter how many times I watch an episode (and I’ve seen each of them multiple times), I always find something new – some subtle joke that I missed before. Stupid Fox. Always cancelling the good shit.
Anyway, the point of this post is: I’m a bad person. I must be. Why? Because I chortled a little when I read this headline: Tycoon who took over Segway firm dies in freak accident after riding one of the machines off a cliff and into a river.
It’s sad. It is. Great googly moogly, I am a bad person:
The multi-millionaire owner of the Segway company died in a freak accident yesterday when he rode one of the high-tech two-wheel machines off a cliff and into a river.
Former miner Jimi Heselden, 62, plunged into the River Wharfe while riding around his West Yorkshire estate in Boston Spa on a rugged country version of the Segway.
Oh great, my status has changed from “bad person” to “asshat“: Continue reading
Photographer Taryn Simon spent five days and nights sleeping in JFK Airport to photograph all the weird shit that people try to get through customs.
Stuff like: Fake Viagra, real Viagra, Louis Vuitton purses, Louis Vittles purses, boar hooves, chicken feet, dead birds, live birds, Prada bags, Prad-O bags, gemstones, fruit, cow dung toothpaste, deer penis, dead guinea pigs, steroids, cigars, Cornballers (go ahead! touch it!), and GHB.1
Wow. Someone was throwing one hell of a party:
There were containers filled with Botox-making ingredients, fake Louis Vuitton handbags and dead guinea pigs. There were animal parts, cigars and steroids. Viagra from China and GBL, the date-rape drug, freshly arrived from Europe.
This is a glimpse into the underworld of illicit commodities trying to get through federal inspection sites at New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport, the busiest international air passenger gateway to the United States.
And it was at JFK that Taryn Simon, an internationally renowned photographer, spent five days and nights in 2009 sleeping on an air mattress, documenting this ordinary deluge of bizarre goods into a major port of cargo and passenger entry into the U.S., an Ellis Island of sorts for illegal commodities.
“Myself and my team got very little sleep under the blinding fluorescent lights. It was torturous. I could barely stand on the last day,” said Simon.
First of all, “Myself and my team got very little sleep?” Yourself needs to learn yourself some grammar. Continue reading
Posted in Weird Ass Shenanigans, What the Crap!?
Tagged airplane, bad grammar makes me [sic], customs, JFK Airport, New York, Taryn Simon, weirdness, WTF!?
Wow, really? REALLY? It is 2010 and some asshats at an advertising agency actually greenlit this ad campaign which suggests that a clean vagina is most important for confidence at work? Who the…?? What the…?? Why the…?? How the…?? Where the fuck?!?!
This ad campaign is so unbelievably sexist — so utterly ridonkulous — that I figured it must be a joke. I mean, Summer’s Eve cannot possibly be suggesting that a woman’s stinky vagine may be preventing her from grabbing that brass ring. Not in 2010. Maybe in the 1950s. But not in 2010.
Well, it’s not a joke.
Here it is. Read it, weep, and then go clean your vagina:
Just so we’re clear, here’s how you can be better equipped to ask your boss for a raise:
Wild animal news out of Georgia this week: A donkey and a zebra got jiggy with it (why does no one seem to get jiggy with it anymore? Too nineties??) and this week, Lady Donkey gave birth to a zedonk. Yup. That’s right. A zedonk. That’s a zebra/donkey hybrid for all you noobs out there.
Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in north Georgia, has announced the birth of the first zebra-donkey hybrid in the United States. Christened “Pippi Longstockings,” the foal resembles her donkey mother, though sports black stripes on her face and legs from her zebra father’s side of the family. She also seems to be displaying more of her father’s behavior, according to preserve founder and general manager C.W. Wathen. “Usually, a foal will lay over on its side, sunning itself, but the zedonk sits up at all time — like she’s on alert looking out for predators. She’s still got some of her wild instincts.”
Hell yeah, she’s on alert looking for predators! She’s the only one of her kind in a wildlife preserve that is home to a bunch of white Siberian Tigers (fancy!), black leopards (they prefer to be called African-American leopards), mountain lions, tigers (those white Siberian Tigers think they’re sooooo great), albino wallabies (wh?!), monkeys, cockatiels (cockawha!?), ostriches, alligators (they’re not as friendly as you might think), giant tortoises (more annoyingly slow than regular sized tortoises), a two-month old wolf cub (yeah, it sounds cute until it eats your face off) and “a camel named Sebastian.”
You know damn well all those beasts are going to be eyeing Li’l Zedonk’s zedonkadonk.
Well, all of them except for the camel. Sebastian the Camel? Honey, please. That camel is a camosexual.2
[video of Pippi Longstockings after the jump]
