Tag Archives: teabaggers

"An Open Letter to the White Right, On the Occasion of Your Recent, Successful Temper Tantrum" – Tim Wise

This times infinity plus eleventy squared

I’m posting Tim Wise’s latest screed in full because it’s just that good.

*NOTE: PLEASE RE-READ THE TITLE OF THIS ESSAY BEFORE GOING FURTHER. NOTICE, IT IS AIMED AT THE WHITE RIGHT. NOT ALL WHITE PEOPLE. ANYONE WHO THINKS THIS ESSAY IS “ANTI-WHITE PEOPLE,” AS OPPOSED TO THAT SEGMENT OF THE WHITE COMMUNITY THAT IS RIGHT WING, CANNOT READ PLAIN ENGLISH. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.*
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For all y’all rich folks, enjoy that champagne, or whatever fancy ass Scotch you drink.

And for y’all a bit lower on the economic scale, enjoy your Pabst Blue Ribbon, or whatever shitty ass beer you favor.

Whatever the case, and whatever your economic station, know this…

You need to drink up.

And quickly.

And heavily.

Because your time is limited.

Real damned limited.

So party while you can, but mind the increasingly loud clock ticking away in the corners of your consciousness.

The clock that reminds you how little time you and yours have left.

Not much more now.

Tick, tock.

Tick, tock.

Tick.

Tock. Continue reading

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Teabagging Christmas: A Festivus for the Rest of Us

Oh holy shit night.

I’m coming right out and saying it: Teabaggers have no sense of humor. Zero. None. Nada. It’s a wonder that they are even able to tie their shoes in the morning.

Jesus H. Bieber in a manger:

The Liberal Clause: Socialism on a Sleigh is written by David Hedrick, a Tea Party candidate who lost his bid this year to be the Republican candidate for Washington’s third district. You may remember him from this recent story where he is accused of physically assaulting his wife. I think I was the only person to buy a copy of The Liberal Clause last night because Hedrick came over personally to shake my hand, talking excitedly about what he’d created (the book costs $20 so I’m not surprised a lot of people passed). The story, he told me, came naturally one night as he was making up a bedtime story for his children (the book is dedicated to them with the warning “Never forget that free goodies from liberal elves often come at a price”). The satire where Obama steals Christmas that Hedrick came up with on that fateful night was too good not to be illustrated and published for all children to enjoy.

Are you ready for a bedtime story, Blogtownies? Below the cut are some pictures, a rundown of the plot and some choice excerpts for your edutainment.

The Liberal Clause takes place in the small town of Camas, WA where, for as long as anyone can remember, the children have been given the special responsibility of electing the Great Elf Council that serves at the North Pole. This year, however, the ballots go missing. Suspiciously, nasty ol’ Elf Peloosi discovers a box she claims are the missing ballots under a shelf in the back of a union warehouse. The elves are so glad the ballots have been recovered that they don’t bother to question the fact that there are more ballots returned than were cast! This is all reported in local newspaper, The Christmas Times, above a picture of Hendrick himself with the subtitle “Camas man’s rant goes viral”.

The elves’ relief dissipates quickly as it becomes clear something fishy is going on. After the Liberal Party of Elves takes over the Great Council Santa Claus suddenly goes missing and the elf people are told he is being replaced. An excerpt from the book with all dubious spelling and punctuation kept intact: Continue reading

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Sharron Angle's New Race-Baiting Campaign Ad: BE AFRAID OF BROWN PEOPLES!!!!11

What can brown do for you?

Besides learn me how to make some gottdamn tamales?

::shrug::

Anyway, the people in the ad below don’t look like Mexicans to me–they look Asian; just like Sharron Angle!

Classic race-baiting bullshit, right down to the image of Harry Reid with half of his face shiny and white (just how Angle likes it!) and the other half in the shadows (black/brown SCARRRRRY!!)

So Angle’s message is: brown people are scary; we don’t like them brown peoples; they all wear red bandanas and have threatening mustaches; they prevent the lily-white folks in Nevada from going to college and, like, being alive and stuff; so, don’t vote for Harry Reid otherwise the brown peoples are going to take over and MAKE YOU BROWN.


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Christine O'Donnell is an Idiot: Doesn't Know Separation of Church and State is in the First Amendment

This is a couple days old, but every damn person should watch this video.

I spend so much time immersed in political fuckery every day, that I sometime forget that not everyone is as obsessive as I am.  I figured everyone had heard about Christine O’Donnell’s smug ass smuggery during a debate before an audience at Widener University Law School until a friend of mine (who is aware of what’s going on, but who just doesn’t have cable) said she hadn’t heard about this.

So, if you haven’t watched this yet, do it!  Do it now!  Watch as she thinks she’s scored the biggest political hit of her life, by questioning Chris Coons: “Where in the Constitution is the separation of church and state?

The Questioner Dude had already moved the fuck on to a new question!  O’Donnell could have just shut her trap and no one would have known that she actually is as dumb as she looks.  But no!  She goes back and incredulously says. “The separation of church and state is in the Constitution?” Then she looks at the audience like, “Yeah right, get a load of this fuckin’ guy.”

The most hilarious part is that the law students in the audience laugh at her uneducated ass, and Christine thinks they’re laughing with her at Chris Coons when, really, they are laughing at her and her epic stupidity: Continue reading

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Firedoglake Craziness: There is Something Wrong When I Agree with Fellow Oberlin Grad Michelle Malkin ::shudder::

Seriously.  What the…??

Thanks to all you newcomers who have come to my crazy part of the internet.  I’m swamped today with, you know, my job, but I try to post every day and it would be rude of me not to get outraged about something.  Seems like everyone else on the left is outraged for varying reasons, some of them dumb as hell, some of them perfectly reasonable.  But I don’t do reasonable.  It’s not my thing.  I don’t know what over-the-line means.  So here we go:

The whiners and the crybabies need to shut the hell up.  Just shut up.  For five weeks.  That’s it.  Then you can go back to singing your “Obama done did me wrong” song.  In the meantime?  Quit fucking it up for the rest of us, please.  Because maybe some of you have deluded yourselves into thinking that you can lie down with dogs (i.e., the Tea Party) and not wake up with fleas (i.e., a degenerative brain disease), but you can’t.

It’s as simple as that.  Those of you who are still crying about the public option, or state secrets, or whatever, just shut up.  Just for a month.  Because if your plan is to sit back and laugh it up for the next two years until you get to run a true progressive candidate, one likely picked by one of your Crazy Overlords, then you’re not helping.  Because seriously?  The chances of Dennis Kucinich or Ralph Nader actually winning an election are slim to none and I just set Slim on fire.

Disagree with Obama.  Fine.  Hate him.  Fine.  But this?  And this? And this? It’s fucking ridiculous, is what it is.  At the end of the day, Obama is more aligned with the shit you want to get done than fucking St. Christine O’Palin of Delalaska.  And frankly, I’m more concerned about keeping the government out of my uterus than I am about most of the bullshit you people are complaining about. That is not to say that I agree with the “We should totally assassinate that Al-Olleyoxenfree” guy.  Or that I don’t think the mandate is bullshit.  Hey, I want a public option too.  And maybe we’ll get one as HCR gets tweaked.  But you know what we’ll get with Republicans?  The intersection of “jack” and “shit.”

What am I saying?  I’m saying who really gives a fuck about those things right now?  At least who gives so much of a fuck that it’s all you can think, blog, tweet about?  It’s not like it’s midterms or anything.

Get it through your heads.  You are not the only people who identify as Liberals.  You’re a small section of lunatics.  And in some cases, racist lunatics: Calling President Obama “Chocolate Carter” is fucking racist. (Remember how much trouble Ray Nagin got into for calling New Orleans “Chocolate City”?); calling President Obama “Mr. Preznint” is also racist.

And for you sycophantic circle-jerkers who aren’t doing anything else but sitting in a circular formation and jerking each other off, honestly, are you going to take seriously the incoherent text speak ramblings of a person who thought it was appropriate to paint a picture of Joe Lieberman in motherfucking BLACKFACE!? [image after the jump]

Because if that’s who you’re hoping is going to save you by plucking a Progressive candidate out of obscurity or perhaps, Lord help us, running herself, then you really should get your head examined.

Continue reading

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Christine O'Donnell in 2006: "Homosexuality is an identity disorder."

Hey Delaware?  Nervous yet?

Oh Delaware.  I’m sorry.

Delaware’s Republican U.S. Senate nominee, said in an interview four years ago homosexuality is “an identity disorder.”

Newly revealed comments from 2006 indicate O’Donnell once believed gays and lesbians have an “identity disorder,” putting her squarely at odds with the American medical and psychological community, and popular opinion, ABC News reported Monday.

People are created in God’s image. Homosexuality is an identity adopted through societal factors. It’s an identity disorder,” she told the Wilmington (Del.) News Journal at the time.

The O’Donnell campaign did not immediately respond to requests for comment from ABC News.

Yikes.

Maybe Christine should read this screed by Even-Tempered White Lady.

[hilarious yet scary video after the jump -- scary because the GOP wants to criminalize homosexuality.]

Continue reading

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Obama Dissed Progressives at his $30K-a-Plate Fundraiser and Now Their Feelings are Hurt

Here’s a tissue.

Obama recently gave a speech at a $30k-a-plate fundraiser. He said this –

OBAMA:Democrats, just congenitally, tend to get — to see the glass as half empty. (Laughter.) If we get an historic health care bill passed — oh, well, the public option wasn’t there. If you get the financial reform bill passed — then, well, I don’t know about this particularly derivatives rule, I’m not sure that I’m satisfied with that. And gosh, we haven’t yet brought about world peace and — (laughter.) I thought that was going to happen quicker. (Laughter.) You know who you are. (Laughter.) We have had the most productive, progressive legislative session in at least a generation.

Ouch. That, combined with similar statements from Robert Gibbs and Rahm Emmanuel, has a lot of progressives feeling betrayed and angry. “The president promised us all this shit and we voted for him, so how come America hasn’t instantly transformed into a progressive paradise? Obama broke his word! And now he’s saying mean things! Waaaah!

Check out the comments section on this article from Jane Hamsher at Firedoglake. Progressives are pissed.

But let’s put this in perspective — Continue reading

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Palin Rules, Rove Drools: Delaware Tea Party Candidate Christine O'Donnell to Begin Being More Folksy

The patients are running the asylum.

Oh, Karl. Li’l Rove. Turd Blossom. Remember how everyone on the Right used to love you? You were their dawg, dog! You single-handedly shined George Bush up like a new penny, and crammed him into the White House coin-slot.

For eight years you were the belle of the Shitball. And then came Obama with his handsome brand of socialist fascism, followed by Sarah Palin ::wink:: and now the Tea Party.

Suddenly, you were aut! — Project Runway-style — and now you’re just another Fox News talking head. Nobody’s listening to you anymore. Sarah Palin is the belle of the ball, and the Tea Party Express is teabagging its way through the country.

Oh, Tea Party. How savagely you’ve been kicked in the nuts. But now, courtesy of Alaskan Thunderpalin, you seem to be taking over the GOP. Or at least, the GOP is now forced to acknowledge you because if it doesn’t, you’re going to take over the fucking GOP.

Despite the GOP’s last minute attempt to stop the Christine O’Donnell runaway train (never comin’ back!), and despite almost every pundit claiming that there was no way in hell that O’Donnell could win, she done fuckin’ won. Another Palin endorsement. Another Palin Tea Party win. How you like them now, bitches?

Well Karl Rove doesn’t like it. (Well, at least, he didn’t like it before he liked it.)

After O’Donnell won, Rove was none to pleased. She’s unelectable. She’s nutty. We can’t win this one now.

No seriously. He said that:
Continue reading

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Montana Tea Party: Let's Go Hang Some Gays! And then Let's Whine About Free Speech When People Call Us Out!

People are dumber than a box of dumbasses. And I hate them.

Look, I know there are a lot of so-called Tea Partiers out there who are for something.  Something about the Constitution… they like it, I guess.  Obama?  Definitely don’t like him.  Socialism?  Nope.  Not for it.  Some of them want Medicare but don’t want government run healthcare.  (Duh.)  Some of them want to phase out Social Security, but only after they get their cut.  Some of them don’t want to pay taxes, like ever, for anything.  (Duh.)  Some of them have valid grievances and are obviously pissed off about something.  (What is it?  I don’t know.)

But I can’t help but think that, for the most part, they don’t really have a fucking clue.  Why?  Because they are being driven by a massive propaganda machine that is telling them what to think and what to hate and what’s good for them and what’s not, even though everything the propaganda machine is shoving down their throats tastes like a shit sandwich.  And not one of those gourmet shit sandwiches either.  We’re talking “I ate too much Taco Bell” shit sandwiches.

For those who have grievances, are unhappy with the state of the economy or life in general, I get it.  I really do.  But seriously?  UR DOIN IT RONG.

But whatever.  I’m not concerned about you right now.  I’m more concerned about the rabid hate-filled asshattiful wing of the Tea Party.  The racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, homophobic assholes.  I know, I know, Tea Partiers get upset when you try to paint them with a broad asshat brush.  But it’s really hard not to do so when confronted with stories like this:

Up until Sunday, Tim Ravndal was the president of the The Big Sky Tea Party Association, a prominent Montana Tea Party group. He was removed from that position, however, after apparently endorsing violence against gays and citing the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard on his Facebook page.

On July 23, Ravndal declared his opposition to gay marriage in a Facebook status update. Another user replied: “I think fruits are decorative. Hang up where they can be seen and appreciated. Call Wyoming for display instructions.” Ravndal then responded: “Where can I get that Wyoming printed instruction manual?”

As you may recall, in 1998, Matthew Shepard, a student at the University of Wyoming, was tied to a fence and beaten to death, one of the more heinous hate crimes in recent memory.  Of course Ravndal claims that he didn’t make the connection between Shepard’s murder and Wyoming.  (Yeah right.)  But nonetheless, the Board of Directors of the Big Sky Tea Party kicked his ass out.

So good for them, right?  Right?

Yes.  It was the right call.  But not according to the Big Sky Tea Party’s secretary and candidate for Montana state senator, Kristi Allen-Gailushas, who posted the following to Ravndal’s Facebook page: Continue reading

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