Tag Archives: religion

Michigan country club cancels speaker due to his belief in God

Posted on October 13, 2011 by | 5 Comments

OMG! OMG! OMG!

Via the Detroit Free Press:

One of the world’s noted Christians says a Rochester Hills country club canceled his speaking engagement after learning about his views.

Richard Dawkins, a scientist from England who is known for his outspoken defense of Christianity, planned to speak tonight at the Wyndgate Country Club at a fund-raising dinner for the Michigan branch of the Center for Inquiry — a group that defends Christianity.

But on Thursday, an official with the country club contacted the Center for Inquiry and canceled his appearance after finding out Dawkins is a Christian after watching him on “The O’Reilly Factor” on the Fox News channel, said Dawkins and center officials.

Pretty shocking, eh? A country club in a relatively upscale part of the state deciding to cancel an appearance by a noted scientist because of his religious beliefs. Here’s the thing: I’ve changed the quote from the Free Press a bit. Actual quote after the jump.

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Posted in Criminally Stupid, Eclectablog

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Rapture Jokes Are So Passe and It Hasn't Even Not Happened Yet

Posted on May 21, 2011 by | 4 Comments

This whole Rapture thing is bananas.

So Jesus really *is* black!

The thing that sucks about the Rapture (well, that would suck about it, if it were actually going to happen) is that I know some pretty awesome people, and I don’t want them to get Raptured.  (That I feel that way, much less am expressing it out loud makes me unRapturable.  I’m okay with it.)

But, seriously — can’t there be two levels of non-Rapture (or Hell or whatever it’s called?)

Why don’t we send all the right-wing, gay-hating, forced birthing, family values hypocrites — you know, the people who don’t deserve it — right on up with Jesus.  Then for the genuinely Rapturable, can’t we have them stay here, but, like, give them extra bacon on their sandwiches and free HBO?

That seems fair to me.

Anyway, here is some Rapture-related info: Continue reading →

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Posted in Shits and Giggles

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Rev. Franklin Graham Thinks Obama is a Kenyan Muslim

Posted on April 24, 2011 by | 18 Comments

Who doesn’t, these days?

Franklin Graham, son of TV evangelist grifter Billy Graham has officially joined the Racist Birther Brigade:

Rev. Franklin Graham wonders: Why can’t Barack Obama produce a birth certificate?

The son of the legendary Billy Graham told Christiane Amanpour on ABC’s “This Week” that the president “has some issues to deal with” when it comes to proving he is indeed an American.

“He can solve this whole birth certificate issue pretty quickly,” Graham said. “I was born in a hospital in Asheville, North Carolina. And I know that my records are there; you can probably go and find out what room my mother was in when I was born. I don’t know why he can’t produce that. It’s an issue it looks like he can answer pretty quickly.”
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Posted in Culture Critic, Now That's Some Racist Bullsh*t, Political Shenanigans

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There But for the Grace of 9,000 Votes Go MN: Emmer Would Have Made Walker Look Like a Piker

Posted on April 18, 2011 by | 31 Comments

I am a proud Minnesotan. Yes, I have a long and troubled history with my fair state, but there are many reasons I have lived here for most of my life.* For the most part, we have been a liberal state (with the notable exception of governor over the past twenty years or so), which did my blue heart good.  However, in the past five years or so, a change has come to my state, and it’s not boding well for my future residency here.

It’s the same change we’ve seen played out in Ohio, Wisconsin, and Michigan (Florida is on its own.  I don’t know what kind of batguano they’re practicing down there with that criminal governor of theirs) as the newly-elected governor of each state systematically strips the rights of the middle class and poor Americans, aided in a large part by the Republican majorities in Congress.

I’ve seen the dissatisfaction grow locally as well.  I began to see Lipton Tea ‘Bagger signs in nearby neighborhoods.  Handmade and poorly-spelled, there was no doubt about whom they held responsible for the current economic woes–Obama and other Democrats.   Still, I was protected from the idiocy.  My immediate neighborhood is mostly Democratic (though my neighbor is an old curmudgeon with a liberal = tax hikes kind of bumper sticker on his pickup).  My rep is the awesome Betty McCollum, and when I move to the Northeast, I’ll have the equally-awesome Keith Ellison as my rep.  And, of course, Senator Al Franken (can I get a what what?).   Like I said, we have our pockets of batguanocrazy (6th District, I’m looking at YOU!), but for the most part, we’re pretty liberal.  The growing of the Lipton Tea ‘Bagger mentality shocked me.  It shouldn’t have, but it did.

Set that aside for a minute.

The GOP nationwide as well as locally ran on fiscal responsibility and making sure the dastardly Kenyan Mooslim Usurper in the White House did not hurtle us into the gaping maw of socialism.  Spending freeze!  Lower taxes!  No death panels for granny!  Blah blah blah blah blah.  Democrats were dispirited and Republicans were fired up.  Enough of that hopey-changey bullsheetrock!  What America needed was a good shot of testosterone in the ‘nads, and the Republicans were the ones to deliver that shot.  Across the land, many governments switched from Dem-controlled to Republican-controlled (and, of course, the House of our nation’s Congress was lost as well), and it was good.  Conservatives were exultant as they crowed about their victory.**

Before they could do their “NO MORE TAXES” victory dance, however, a strange thing happened.  The Republican Congresspeople who were bleating about, “Where are the jobs?” before the 2010 elections did not immediately set upon finding said jobs.  No, they decided that in this time of great economic downturn and high unemployment rates, the thing that really needed to be done was to make abortion as difficult to get as possible.  Yes.  The party who believes in less regulation  went nutso over their desire to regulate women’s uteri.
(click for more uteri!)

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Posted in asiangrrlMN, Lady Bits, Political Shenanigans, Teabilly and GOP Mendacity

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Drunk-as-Hell Priest Offers to Give Arresting Officers Blowies

Posted on March 4, 2011 by | 4 Comments

Forgive them Father for they know not what they do… or do they?

I’m not a religious person. I do not begrudge other people the religion of their choice (nor do I judge them for it) but having grown up the daughter of a Jew and a Catholic, both of whom wanted me to make up my own mind about religion, I ended up deciding that there were too many religions and who has time for all that?

All I know is that I don’t like the Catholic Church’s stance on sex, women’s reproductive rights, and gays, and I don’t like the Jewish stance on bacon.

I must admit, however, that I sometimes envy those with faith.  It must be comforting to have something — some higher power — to turn to when the shit goes down and you’re not ready.  That is to say, I am not disdainful of religion; I have friends who maintain their faith without proselytizing and shoving it in everyone’s stupid faces.  I like those people.  What I don’t like are the people who feel it is their mission in life to spread the word of JAYZUS.  It is usually those people who are the biggest assholes around.  Moreover, there are so fucking many of Those People that they tend to drown out the rest.

As a result, I follow my own credo: Don’t be an asshole.  It has worked for me so far (for the most part). Continue reading →

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Posted in Culture Critic, Weird Ass Shenanigans

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There's A War on Christmas, Y'all!

Posted on December 2, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Oy vey.  With the war and the Christmas?  Let’s go eat some Chinese food.

It’s that time of year again, sleigh bells are slinging (or ringing or singing or whatever), and that little drummer boy is causing a ruckus, much like this guy:

Christmas is in the air, and those secular secularists are trying to destroy it!  It’s a goddamn Christmas jihad, and Senator Inhofe will not let this aggression stand, man!

Oklahoma Sen. Jim Inhofe (R) says he won’t participate in Tulsa’s annual Holiday Parade Of Lights until the “forces of political correctness” put “Christmas” back in the title. “I’m not going to ride in a Christmas parade that doesn’t recognize Christmas,” he said.

“Last year, the forces of political correctness removed the word ‘Christmas’ and replaced it with ‘Holiday’ instead,” the Tulsa World reports Inhofe said. “I am deeply saddened and disappointed by this change.”

He continued:

I am hopeful that the good people of Tulsa and the city’s leadership will demand a correction to this shameful attempt to take Christ, the true reason for our celebration, out of the parade’s title. Until the parade is again named the Christmas Parade of Lights, I will not participate.

::eyeroll::

You know what I say? FUCK CHRISTMAS:1 Continue reading →

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Posted in Culture Critic

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Today in Gay: Georgia Megachurch Edition

Posted on November 16, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Come out, come out, wherever you are!


On Sunday, a pastor at a Georgia megachurch made a shocking announcement to his congregation — (Is that what it’s called?  A congregation?  Parsonage?  Parsnip? A parsnip in a pear tree? Hmmm…)

::clears throat::

On Sunday, a pastor in Georgia gave his pastor-people a shocker (Get your head of the gutter, honestly!  I can’t take you anywhere!) — he announced that he’s gay.

::gasp!!::

When I read the news, I imagined a scene from that movie Keeping the Faith (the movie where Father Ed Norton and Rabbi Ben Stiller fall in love with Scientologist/shiksa Jenna Elfman).  It’s the climactic scene in the synagogue where Rabbi Stiller tells his rabbit-people that he’s totally dating a shiksa and the rabbit-people are all, “Oy vey!” but it ended up being cool and everyone lived happily ever after.  That’s what I imagined the scene to be, except with less Jews and more GAY:

Jim Swilley, the pastor of a Georgia megachurch, recently revealed to his congregation that he is gay. The 52-year-old father of four said that his wife, to whom he was married for more than 20 years, encouraged him to come out years ago, but at the time, he told her: “These words will never come out of my mouth.”

However, the recent spate of teen suicides, particularly that of Rutgers student Tyler Clementi, prompted him to change his mind. “For some reason his situation was kind of the tipping point with me,” Swilley told CNN’s Don Lemon this weekend.

“There comes a point in your life where you say ‘How much time do we have left in our lives? Are we going to be authentic or not?’”

Way to go, Pastor Gay Guy!  Let’s open up those lines of communication between the people and the Lord: “Excuse me, God? It’s cool if I’m gay, right? IT IS?! I KNEW IT! HEY YOU GUYS! WE CAN BE GAY AS ALL GET OUT NOW!! LET’S GET OUT THERE AND GAY LIKE A CHAMP!!”

[video after the jump]

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Posted in Balloon Juice Cross-Posts, Culture Critic, Kick Ass, LGBTQ Shenanigans, Political Shenanigans

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Google's Veteran's Day Logo is All Muslim 'n Shit

Posted on November 11, 2010 by | Leave a comment

ZOMG YOU GUYZ!!  TEH GOOGLE IS AL KAYDA!!!

I don’t know if you heard, but despite whatever those uppity people who have studied the Constitution say, know this: SHARIA LAW HAS SHOVED ITS DIRTY SAND-LADEN FINGERS INTO THE PATRIOTIC SOIL OF THESE UNITED STATES!!

You know Google, right?  It’s like this internet search engine or something.  They are fairly whimsical with their holiday celebrations.  Usually they celebrate the day within the standards that have been set for internet search engines since time immemorial.  But they’ve run into some trouble lately.  Last year, I wrote about Google’s hatred of our veterans. (Google decided to celebrate the twenty-fifth anniversary of Tetris on D-Day instead of celebrating D-Day on D-Day.)

You know D-Day, right?  It has something to do with the World War.

Which one?  I don’t know.  There were only two.  Take your pick.

All you need to know is that it’s a very patriotic affair, and you best be wearing your flag pin on D-Day or you’ll be castigated for being a freedom-hater.  Also, too, if you dare celebrate the anniversary of one of the most kick ass games of our time on this “D-Day,” then you hate America and should move to France.

I wasn’t bothered by Google’s Tetris shenanigans.  I was willing to forgive Google’s America-hating ass because I love Tetris more than I love America.

But this?  This is just too much for my red-blooded American patriotic heart to bear:

What the fuck?!  Does it look like those socialist Muslim-loving American-hating googling bastards celebrated Veteran’s Day by changing their logo to a burning flag with a crescent moon sticking out of it?  Because that’s what it looks like to me!  Google hates us for our freedom!  This is an outrage!

WE HAVE BEEN INFILTRATED, PEOPLE!  THIS IS NOT A DRILL!  I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Motifs of the American flag have become a regular addition to Google’s artistic repertoire celebrating patriotic holidays but today’s Veterans Day doodle has sparked a measure of controversy.

RL from Product-Reviews.net sums up the outrage perfectly, “An American flag covering a partial showing Islamic crescent moon…good job GOOGLE…way to do your part to further fan the flames of tension between the western world and the Islamic community. Lets see how you play dumb and spin this.”

Exactly. Way to go, Google. Give crazies such as Pamela Geller, Terry Jones and Tea Party patriots the fuel they need to wage an all-out slugfest of vitriol against Islam for ruining an American tradition. The Google doodle is distasteful at best, hateful at worst, for this Veterans Day.

Your Google doodle is supposed to enlighten and educate those who click on it, not cause a rift between two world powers.

In a civilized society we need to show respect. We show respect by opening the door for the elderly. We show respect by thanking a soldier for fighting for us. We show respect by saluting the flag when in uniform. We show respect by not desecrating someone’s sacred symbol.

Google’s Veterans Day doodle needs to show the flag, and any possible representations of it, respectfully. In times of peace, flags of all countries fly at the same level. The same should be true of American and Islamic ideals. There is no reason why they two can peacefully coexist. We don’t live in Salem, Massachusettts in the 1650s. No more witch hunts.

I’m disappointed in Google’s doodle for this Veterans Day. Our president just left the world’s largest Islamic country when he visited Indonesia. He treated Islam with respect. Is this doodle the way we show the world we are civilized and respectful? No wonder Islamic extremists hate us.

Wait, what?!  I’m confused.  What’s the point of the article?

Frankly, I don’t know what the article means.  Is it satire?  It’s not over-the-top enough to be satire.  Is it serious?  The arguments in the article are contradictory.  Is it saying that Islamofascists are going to see Google’s logo and think, “DEATH TO AMERICA!  EVEN THEIR SEARCH ENGINES HATE US FOR OUR HUMMUS!!”

Or is the article saying that the American flag has been desecrated because there’s a Allahdamn crescent moon sticking out of its ass?

I DON’T KNOW.  WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!  HOW DO MAGNETS WORK?

Well, I may not know what that particular article was trying to say, but this tripe from World Fuckery News Daily (it’s where all the idiots get their news!) confirms my suspicion that teh Google really hates America: Continue reading →

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Posted in Culture Critic, Please Die in a Fire, What the Crap!?

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Montana: We’re against bullying but homosexuality is totally gross, mirite? Ewwwwwwww.

Posted on November 8, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Houston we have a hypocrite.  I repeat: Houston, we have a hypocrite, over.

It is amazing to me how oblivious to their own mind-numbing fuckery some people are. Why is it that when confronted with their own prejudices, bigotry, or plain old bad behavior, the first reaction of an asshat (be it a racist, homophobic, misogynistic, or “any combination of the three” asshat), their first instinct is not to examine their own thoughts and behavior and to determine why it is they are fucked in the head, but rather, to get defensive and circle the wagons.  “I’m not a racist, but black people are so stupid, mirite?” “I don’t have anything against Muslims, but I really wish they’d stop blowing our shit up with their anchor babiez of terrah.”

These are the same people who preface their bullshit statements with, “With all due respect” or “No offense, but” and then proceed to spout some garbage that makes you want to crush their heads with your thumb and index finger.

A person who starts a sentence with “with all due respect” is essentially saying, “you’re stupid and I hate you.” A person who starts a sentence with, “No offense, but” is about to say something untoward about having relations with your mom:  “No offense, but you look like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.  How  come your mom is so hot when she’s naked?  Oh whoops! Did I not tell you about that?  Well don’t get all mad, I said, ‘no offense!’”

No one ever says, “No offense, but you are the smartest person in the world.” Or “With all due respect, I think everything you just said is stunningly intelligent and I am smarter for having heard it.”

So when I read the latest bigoted bullshit coming out of Montana (which is, as I wrote here, the land of the free and the lynched gays!), my eyes couldn’t help but roll themselves into the far reaches of my brain: Continue reading →

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Posted in Balloon Juice Cross-Posts, Culture Critic, LGBTQ Shenanigans, Please Die in a Fire, Political Shenanigans

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