We are all socialists now.
As expected, Democratic losses last week led to certain Professional Asshats squealing with glee: “OMG OBAMA IS SO FAIL LOL.”
“See! I told you so! Why didn’t you listen to meeeeeeee. I told you that everybody wants a public option or a pony or the right to [be gay, to not be gay, to be gay on Tuesdays, or to wear jean shorts and not be called gay]. Didn’t I say everyone should have a right to [insert issue].”
“And by the way!” –they just kept on talking and wouldn’t shut up, “I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty sure I also told you that everybody wanted a bigger stimulus and nobody wanted any sort of stimulating if it wasn’t going to be the biggest hardest stimulus EVAR!”
Finally, on November 2 and 3, these asshats laughed and laughed and immediately joined together in one giant circle jerk to give each other the happy ending they’d been yearning for ever since Obama slapped that smirky public option off of the health care reform bill’s face with his giant pimp hand.
Knowing that my reaction to the post-election shenanigans would run the gamut of “oh kindly STFU” to “If you don’t STFU, I’m going to stab you in the neck with my pen,” I promised myself that after the election I was done: I was done reading comment fuckery, and I was done even attempting ironic responses to idiotic comments. (To understand why this is a big deal, you have to know me. I’m an argumentative person by nature. Just ask my friends. I will argue and argue until you concede simply because you want me to shut the hell up.) But I couldn’t. I didn’t have it in me.
For the past week, it’s been grand! I’ve stayed away from certain political websites. I stop myself from reading any comment sections (aside from Balloon Juice and occasionally, Wonkette). It doesn’t hurt that I’m too busy at work to cast vitriolic tweets into the Twitter vacuum at the asshats out there who think that they—and only they—hold the secret to whatever is going to usher in the greatest Progressive Revolution since the New Deal, the Great Society, Progressive Era, and the era of ubiquitous Progressive Insurance commercials combined.
Nevertheless, I winced as I saw certain bloggers claiming that the Republican Party—ZOMG! they are gonna take back the country and holy shitballs, the Democratz are going to be executed by fire squad and we’re all gonna have to wear hats with tea bagz on our headsz lol—took back the House because gay people were pissed about DADT. (I even saw a number being floated around—did you know that 76% of gay men voted for Republicans? [I’m not even going to look it up because to do so would be a colossal waste of my time, I suspect].)
My blood pressure rose when I saw pundits claiming that the Republicans had been given a mandate to kick Obama out of the White House and send him back to Muslimistan to live in exile for all eternity with his anti-colonial Kenyan father and his former Pastor Jeremiah Wright who will be screaming “GODDAMN AMERICA!” every hour on the hour.
My head ached when I saw blog posts definitively stating that the midterm election was a referendum on Obama and his inherent wussiness or Blue Doggedness, or his failure as Our Leader because he didn’t crap a public option into America’s Toilet.
And my head almost exploded upon reading that the Teatwits think they are the center now.
But none of it was anything that stirred up enough rage to warrant a blog post.
I just read an article, however, that is such a load of shit that it has quite figuratively bottled my mind.
The article details the kerfluffle between Glenn Greenwald at Salon.com and MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell. Greenwald and O’Donnell have been slap-fighting about Greenwald’s criticism of O’Donnell’s analysis during MSNBC’s election night coverage. Greenwald accused O’Donnell of blaming liberalism and liberals for the blowout. Lawrence responded that he had done no such thing. According to Greenwald: