Tag Archives: Orly Taitz

The Birther Nonsense Has Hit a New Low: My Inner Obama Anger Translator

Posted on January 23, 2012 by | 24 Comments

UPDATE:  Per Sugaree and Norbrook in the comment section, the judge hasn’t actually ordered President Obama to appear in court.  An amended Motion to QUASH THE BULLSHIT LIKE A BUG**** will be filed by President Obama’s attorney and probably accepted, and Orly Taintz will have yet another brain aneurysm because the lie-brul courts are oppressing her right to be an idiot or some such.  Still.  I feel better having ranted, and in the end, that’s all that really matters.  

The birther crap is like the nine-headed hydra.  Every time one head is cut off, a bazillion others spring up in its place.  It’s racist, pure and simple, and there is no way to convince someone who believes the president is a damned furriner* that he is an actual-factual native-born American, so I have pretty much ignored the inanity that is the birther movement.   However, the news that a Georgia judge denied a motion to dismiss an appearance by President Obama in a local birther case** coupled with the racist bullshit Newt Gingrich has been tossing out to the South Carolina Republican base PLUS a really fucking shitty week has pretty much tipped me over the edge – thus, this post.

Now, I’m not a lawyer.  I don’t play one on TV.  I have very minimal legal knowledge, so I cannot speak to the merits of Deputy Chief Judge Michael Malihi ordering President Obama to show up for the trial.   What I will say is that I think it’s a bunch of bullshit to treat this issue as if it has any validity.   ABLC’s own Zandar has a post on the sheer stupidity of the birther movement and why the people spouting this shit need to be held accountable.   Like Stephen D. Foster Jr. at addictinginfo.org, I want the asshats who bring about these suits to pay for them – literally. However, this post is not about that.  No, this post is me summing up my inner Obama Anger Translator and how I envision said angry Obama responding to this call to appear in a Georgian court.

(click for my dream scenario)

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Posted in asiangrrlMN, Now That's Some Racist Bullsh*t, Please Die in a Fire, What the Crap!?

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What Hath Orly Taitz Wrought? The Rise of the Mitt Romney Birthers

Posted on January 11, 2012 by | 57 Comments

Karma is a bitch.

ORLY?

Perhaps the most toxic legacy of the 2008 Presidential campaign was the emergence of the Birthers.

As Barack Obama’s campaign took off, a die-hard band of desperate reality-deniers, led by their cuckoo queen Dentist/Lawyer Orly Taitz, combined increasingly ridiculous conspiracy theories about the circumstances and location of Obama’s birth with a peculiar hard-core interpretation of the intent behind the Constitutional phrase “natural born citizens” into a (to them) compelling case that Obama was ineligible to be POTUS.

At first, they posited, Barack Hussein Obama was not actually born in the state of Hawaii, but was instead born in Kenya, then whisked into the US and records falsified to make him an American. Because Stanley Ann Dunham and Barack Obama Sr. intentionally left the US while she was enormous with child so that she could give birth to her son in a third-world country instead of an American hospital, but anticipated that their bi-racial son born in pre-Loving v. Virginia America would someday be a shoo-in for the Presidency or something.

As people continued to point and laugh at their complex crackpot theories, some Birthers began to advance a second argument, which they found even more compelling.

Even if they conceded that Obama was born on US soil, he didn’t meet the criterion of “natural born citizen” because his birth father was not himself a US citizen, but a Kenyan. By stretching the Constitution just so and holding it over a candle to reveal hidden inscriptions in invisible ink, they determined that a “natural born citizen” could not be born to a parent who held citizenship in any other country, because that made the child a dual national, not a real American.

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Posted in Allan, Election 2012? Oy vey!, Magic Underpants, Teabilly and GOP Mendacity

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Racist Orange County Republican Marilyn "The Racist" Davenport racistly emails racist photos of Obamas

Posted on April 17, 2011 by | 25 Comments

Did I mention that she’s racist? Because she totally is.

Last week, Marilyn Davenport, a “Southern California tea party activist and member of the Central Committee of the Orange County Republican Party” a.k.a. a dumb ass racist old lady sent an e-mail to select friends and acquaintances. Beneath the words “now you know why no birth certificate,” there is a hilarious family portrait of the Obamas:

HILARIOUS, right?!

When reached for comment, Davenport said the following—actually I don’t even need to tell you what she said first. You know what she said, don’t you? It’s a Variation on a Theme of Some of My Best Friends are Black:

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Posted in Now That's Some Racist Bullsh*t, Political Shenanigans, Teabilly and GOP Mendacity

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Orly Taitz the Birther Queen: Rejected by Clarence Thomas. CLARENCE THOMAS!!

Posted on August 19, 2010 by | Leave a comment

CLARENCE THOMAS!!!!111 That’s got to sting a little.

Really? Someone started a website? Of course they did.

So, Orly Taitz is crazy.  That’s been established.  You all know Orly Taitz.  I told y’all about her crazy ass and her crazy ass lawsuits against Obama and how she thinks he’s a secret Muslim or whatever; and how her crazy ass got called out by Judge Clay Land, and then how Judge Land slapped a $20,000 sanction on her crazy ass for continuing to be a crazy ass despite being ordered to stop being a crazy ass.

Basically, she is one of the few asshats out there who is insisting that Obama is some Muslim Sleeper President who was born in some Kenyan jungle far far away (local legend has it he was born in a banyan tree!), then magically transported to some white lady’s uterus in Indonesia where he received his in utero terrorist training.  (You think a fetus can’t hold a rocket launcher?  THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK!)

After twelve months of gestation, these baby terrorists come shooting out of their mother’s terror-hole, ready to start blowing our shit up.

Yes, it’s a twelve-month gestation period; it’s three more than usual because of the mandatory two-month long “Awakening Period.”  During the Awakening Period, the baby is removed from the uterus and left in the jungle for sixty days.  If the baby is still there when its masterminds creators parents return, then the baby is magically transported back into the womb where it undergoes a one-month-long “Rejuvenation Process.” (Do you know how hard it is for a baby to fend for itself in the jungle?  What with its head wobbling about and such?  It needs some time to rest.)  These babies are the chosen ones.1

Obama is one of the chosen babies.  All of that stuff I just said totally happened to him!  And then something else happened, that other thing happened and OMIGOD HE’S PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES EVERYBODY PICNICK !!!11  HE’S GOING TO TURN US INTO SOCIALIST FASCIST MUSLIMS AND THEN EAT OUR BRAYYYYYNES!!!

Okay, none of that stuff happens.  Jay Kay.  Orly Taitz doesn’t actually believe that stuff either, but what she does believe is just as absurd:

Birther extraordinaire Orly Taitz is still trying to have the Supreme Court reverse a $20,000 fine imposed on her by a lower judge, even after the court denied her appeal earlier this week.

Taitz has filed a “motion for reconsideration” with the court, according to documents posted on her web site, claiming that she has new evidence that President Obama is not an American citizen.

According to Taitz, there’s new evidence in the latest edition of “West Wing Week,” a lighthearted weekly video produced by the White House. In the latest edition, posted on Aug. 12, an aide shows viewers the president’s passport to answer a question about whether he gets stamps when he travels.

Taitz claims the footage proves the passport is doctored.

Further, she claims that the White House forged the passport and made the video in order to sabotage her case and “improperly influence this honorable court.”

“Obama attempted to influence the decision of this Honorable court as well as the decision of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals and further persecute political dissident Attorney Dr. Orly Taitz and cause her to pay $20,000 of sanctions, endanger her law license and cause her severe emotional distress,” Taitz writes.

Taitz is fighting a $20,000 fine imposed on her last fall by a federal judge in Ohio, a judge who was frustrated with her constant frivolous lawsuits claiming Obama is not a legitimate president.

She is also asking the court to hold hearings on the president’s legitimacy and to order payment for her personal suffering.

As for the fine she has thus far refused to pay, she appealed it first to the circuit court and then to the Supreme Court. She first applied to Justice Clarence Thomas, who refused to even hear the case, then Justice Samuel Alito, who — as is standard practice at the court — forwarded it to the full court. The court denied it without comment.

Her personal suffering?  I want payment for my personal suffering, dagnabbit!  I have to suffer these xenophobic racist asshats who scurry about like cockroaches trying to uncover new evidence about Obama’s secret Eskimo love child and whether or not that love child is a terrorist and OH MY GOD ESKIMOEZ ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU!

::eyeroll::

Here’s a little snippet from her brief if you really want to get right in there and soak in the crazy:

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Posted in Angry Black Lady Chronicles, Legal Shenanigans, Please Die in a Fire, Political Shenanigans

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Arizona: A Bevy of Birther Bill Bullshit

Posted on April 22, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Jesus H. Bacon Bits, these people are insane!  Right in their own membranes!

Angry Black Lady has been ranting about the Birthers for a while now–nine months to be exact. (Seriously!)  Sadly, Angry Black Lady may not have any more Birther rants in her.  So she’s leaving this little tale of WTF to me–stopthemadness.  Angry Black Lady is tired and watching her stories.

Anyway, looks like Arizona may be on its way to becoming the first state to actually pass a Birther bill.  Ohio, Florida, and Missouri have proposed bills, but none have passed… yet.

The Arizona House this week passed a “birther bill” that requires the secretary of state to review a presidential candidate’s birth certificate before it can be placed on a ballot in the state.


The bill was passed by a 31 to 29 vote with only Republicans voting in favor. It now goes to the state Senate. The Arizona Republic dutifully notes several Republicans joined with Democrats to oppose the bill, and that Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett questions its constitutionality.


The story also touches on what it called Arizona’s growing reputation as “a national joke because of its legislative actions.”


“This is the straw hat will break the state’s back,” Rep. Kyrsten Sinema told the paper. “We are the laughingstock of the nation.”


In a CBS News report on the bill, it notes the “birther movement” began during the presidential campaign “and has steadily persisted through Mr. Obama’s presidency, in spite of overwhelming evidence he was born in the United States, including his 1961 birth announcement, printed in two Hawaii newspapers.”

Of course, only Republicans voted in favor.  They are asshats.

What an embarrassment.  Arizona is actually letting Orly Taitz, Queen of Crazy, and her band of Asshats influence its legislative process.  You can bet your left boob (or testicle, for you gentlemen) that somewhere, Orly Taitz’s ridiculous eyelashes are fluttering in excitement.

What the crap, Arizona?  Under normal circumstances, I would request that you kindly die in a fire.  But I know some good people who live in Arizona.  Among them are my parents.  So, I guess I don’t want Arizona to burn.  But certainly someone should set themselves ablaze, don’t you think?  Is there anyone out there who is reading this who has any questions about Obama’s birthplace?  It’s unlikely, but if you’re out there, please contact me.  I will hand you a can of gasoline and a match.

It may hurt at first, but you’ll thank me later.

[via Think Progress and JD Journal]

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Posted in Please Die in a Fire, Political Shenanigans, What the Crap!?

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Tea Partiers Don't Know What They're Partying For

Posted on February 17, 2010 by | Leave a comment

But come hell or high water, they’re gonna party anyway

These people at the National Tea Party Convention are some of the most uninformed, ignorant fools I’ve ever seen.  What do they even stand for?  “Taking their country back,” apparently.  Also they stand for “the Constitution,” but only the section that requires the President to be a natural-born citizen.  Yep, that’s right; many of these asshats are a bunch of friggin’ Birthers.

I seriously cannot fathom how people with even the tiniest of brains are still holding on to that “He’s a Muslim Kenyan” nonsense.  It’s really embarrassing.  Of course Orly Taitz was there, feeling like the belle of the ball.  She still hasn’t died in a fire yet.  Can anyone tell me why?  I keep asking her to die in a fire, but she’s not taking my calls.

New Left Media interviewed some of the partiers for their short video Scenes From An American Disaster. Here is the introduction to the video:

Last week, the group Tea Party Nation organized the first Tea Party Convention in Nashville, Tenn., a for-profit event. Some 600 people paid $550 to attend, and Sarah Palin was reportedly paid $115,000 to the be the keynote speaker. After criticism of the convention’s cost, for-profit status, and payment to Palin, multiple national Tea Party organizations withdrew their participation. But the event went on.

And so did the paranoid, conspiratorial assertions–that President Obama was born in another country, that he has covered up his college transcripts, that he is pushing a communist/socialist agenda, that he is protecting terrorists and endangering our country, etc.

The organizers of the convention made great efforts to limit access to the press, and even held “new-media training” sessions to help the Tea Partiers sound and look better on camera–the more people see inside this movement, the less like it. But we got ourselves into the event, where the right-wing, fringe sentiments were on plain display.

That said, these Tea Partiers–able to pay the cost of attendance–are more affluent than those at the 9.12 DC March, and more self-conscious of [the way] they are portrayed in the media. There were fewer signs and homemade t-shirts here, but the attitudes, if more subtle in delivery, were the same.

If you want to see the decline of civilization as we know it, peep this:

This is where the country is going.  May Cruise have mercy on our souls.

[via My Direct Democracy]

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Posted in Culture Critic, Please Die in a Fire, Political Shenanigans

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Angry Black Lady Chronicles: Orly Taitz

Posted on October 14, 2009 by | Leave a comment

Crazy is as Crazy Does 20091007_alc_a01_198.jpg

Orly Taitz, dentist, lawyer, and hot cup of crazy, got slapped with a $20,000 fine for her Birther shenanigans.

Orly Taitz is that crazy Tammy Faye-looking lady who is the “queen” of the Birther Movement.   She’s been flapping her gums about how Obama isn’t a U.S. citizen and therefore isn’t legitimately the President of the United States, and has filed multiple lawsuits making her absurd claims.  For most people, the birther crap seems to have run its course.  Or at least, it has in the media.  It is, after all, abjectly fucking stupid.

Nonetheless, I reckon there are underground lairs of crazy people who still believe this nonsense.  And Orly is one of them; she continues to demand that Obama produce his birth certificate.  Even though… you know… he already has.    Hell, even Hawaii tried to put a stop to the birther crap and came out and said “Listen here, motherfuckers.  Obama was born in Honolulu!”  But, apparently Hawaii is in on Operation Fake President; at least according to Orly.  After all, she’s the one behind all the fake birth certificates–including one from friggin’ Canada.

Orly has been ridiculed for months now–by the media, by the courts, and by her own (former) clients–but she keeps on actin’ the fool.  And now her unchecked tomfoolery has resulted in sanctions–a whopping $20,000 which is $10,000 more than the amount the judge originally threatened.

I’m fairly certain my original was assessment was correct; the judge was baiting her by asking her to file court papers addressing why she shouldn’t be sanctioned.  Instead of writing a legal argument, she served up more crazy.

From the judge’s ruling:

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Posted in Angry Black Lady Chronicles, Legal Shenanigans, Please Die in a Fire, Political Shenanigans

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Angry Black Lady Chronicles: Orly Taitz, DDS, Esq.

Posted on September 22, 2009 by | Leave a comment

PWNED

Last week I told y’all about how Orly Taitz is off her damn rocker. If you recall, she decided it would be a good idea to spout off to the media that Judge Clay Land is treasonous and a puppet of the Obama “regime” after Land dismissed the case of Taitz’s client, Connie Rhodes–a woman who seems to think she can demand verification of her deployment order on the basis that Obama has not yet proven that he’s a U.S. citizen and therefore a legitimate President.  Basically, both of these women are nucking futs.

Instead of keeping her piehole shut, Taitz went and filed another motion!  The court viewed it as a motion to reconsider which is legalese for “Hey Judge, you got it wrong; here’s why; please reconsider your ruling.”  Usually when lawyers file motions to reconsider, they base it on, you know, legal principles and junk.

Not Orly.  Oh no.  Instead she decided to file a motion that relied on no legal authority whatsoever, and instead restated all her birther bullshit.  She called the judge treasonous and said that “the United States District Courts in the 11th Circuit are subject to political pressure, external control… and subservience to the same illegitimate chain of command which Plaintiff has previously protested.”  (Um, Orly?  Judge Land was not even appointed by Obama.  HE WAS APPOINTED BY DUBYA IN 2001.  So, what in the name of biscuits are you even talking about?)

Here’s a snippet of gold from the Judge’s ruling:

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Posted in Angry Black Lady Chronicles, Criminally Stupid, Legal Shenanigans, Please Die in a Fire, Political Shenanigans

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Angry Black Lady Chronicles: Who is Orly Taitz?

Posted on September 17, 2009 by | Leave a comment

The biggest asshat since sliced bread. orlytaitzowl

So you all know about the crazy ass Birthers, and how they think Barack Obama was born in Kenya, and that, with respect to the presidency of Barack Obama, the United States government is perpetrating the largest fraud upon the American public since the FDA warned us that eating Pop Rocks and Coke killed Mikey.  (He liked it!)

Orly Taitz is the lawyer/real estate agent/dentist who is representing a bunch of soldiers who are refusing to follow deployment orders because they think that Obama is not legitimately President of the US of A and conclude that they don’t have to follow his orders.  [I wrote about the asshattery of the Birthers here and here.]

Well yesterday, a federal judge in Georgia (Judge Clay Land) wasn’t having any more Birther crap, and, in a blistering opinion, threatened Taitz with sanctions if she continues to file her bullshit lawsuits:

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Posted in Angry Black Lady Chronicles, Criminally Stupid, Legal Shenanigans, Please Die in a Fire, Political Shenanigans

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