I would not advise watching this video if you don’t have a box of tissues handy
New Zealander Kristian Anderson is fighting bowel cancer. He put together this lovely video for his wife Rachel, with the help of Prime Minister John Key and Hugh Jackman. It’s really sweet. I shouldn’t have been cutting all those onions before I watched it. You know how onions are.
In October of 2009, Kristian Anderson was diagnosed with bowel cancer — and the news got worse: it had spread to his liver. The 35-year-old husband and father didn’t let the diagnosis get him down, though — and has since spent his time between chemotherapy treatments urging men to get tested early and often, saying “If I had got tests done when I first suspected something, I might have only had bowel cancer and they could have just gone straight in and cut it out … It doesn’t matter if it’s nothing but the best thing you can do is find out it’s nothing.”
With his wife Rachel’s birthday approaching, Anderson wanted to do something special for her. He got in touch with a local radio show who helped him reach out to actor Hugh Jackman and New Zealand Prime Minister John Key. With those two on board (Rachel’s from New Zealand, hence the Prime Minister’s appearance), Anderson made her a special birthday video that’s sure to have you reaching for the Kleenex.
Using hand-written messages on poster board (because he says his wife claims he talks too much), Anderson expresses his love for his wife. In case that wasn’t enough, Jackman pops in through the magic of editing to actually voice the sentiment. It’s one of those touching, beautiful and sad videos that we see a lot more often thanks to the Internet. Rachel’s clearly a lucky lady.
[video after the jump]
Just drink it, for the love of peat!
I will hunt you down and I will drink you in the face.
Listen up, bitches. I’m tahrd. I’ve been working my Angry Black ass off. And you know what I like to do after a week like this? Get down with the whisky. (I heard half of that sentence in “Kool & the Gang” voice, and the other half in “Disturbed” voice.** I know. My mind-head is bustid. BUSTID, I SAY!!)
So I’m sitting here, minding my own business, having a glass of whisky and some pasta and catching up on the news. So much shit went down this week, but I’m not ready to write about all of it. or any of it, really. Why? Did you not read the part where I said I’m tahrd? Dang. Pay attention.
So, like, Wyclef Jean is running for President of Haiti (okay, so that happened two weeks ago — I’m not great with the mathematics), Sarah Palin thinks we should extend the Bush tax cuts (so that Uncle Penny Bags can build more hotels on Park Place), but get rid of Obamacare (so that all the hapless poor people who got off the train at Reading Railroad, got dealt the wrong card, and ended up going directly to jail will have to just suck it up when they get the herpes), some Jet Blue attendant flipped the fuck out, and Dr. Laura said “nigger” a bunch of times on the radio (take it away, Louis C.K.!)
Then I stumbled upon this shocking whisky-related news:
Posted in Criminally Stupid, I Am Batshit Insane, Personal Tales, What the Crap!?
Tagged alcohol abuse, black people drink the craziest stuff, crime, drinking, johnny barr's, MacKinlay, New Zealand, scotch, shenanigans, whisky, WTF!?
a bit of a mumbly crazyface, but a giver all the same.
Chicken heads, frogs, muppets...he'll eat whateverthefuck. Because that's how real shit gets when Ozzy's involved.
Ozzy Osbourne is renowned for his crazy shenanigans. Whether it’s biting the head off a chicken (which apparently is an urban legend and never happened, but where’s the fun in that? Motherfucker eats live chicken heads; that’s my story and I’m sticking to it), or doddering around mumbling shit that no one but Bob Dylan could possibly understand, if Ozzy is in your vector, you can be damn sure that shit’s gonna get real:
Ozzy Osbourne gave a homeless man his £3000 (NZ$6500) gold necklace.
The rocker – who has an estimated wealth of £110 million (NZ$238m) with his TV star wife Sharon – handed the beggar his crucifix and told him to “pray” for a better future when he met him on the streets of Los Angeles.
A source told the Daily Star newspaper: “The guy asked Ozzy for some change. After searching his pockets Ozzy realised he didn’t have any so handed him his £3000 gold necklace instead.
“He took the gold crucifix from around his neck and gave it to the man telling him to pray with it. The man could not thank Ozzy enough.”
Well done, Ozzy! Pip pip, cheerio! Was this part of your Bling to the Homeless charity?
Either way, you may resume your chicken head consumption now.
[Author's Note: Yes, Ramy, I know he ate at your restaurant in New Zealand. Or was it Sharon? Don't answer because you know I don't give a shit. Just kidding, you know I love you, you senseless genius.]
Not New Zealand? I know. It’s a shocker.
grody to the max.
So, here’s some news from Izmir, Turkey that’s got my head all grossed out in the mind-area. A veterinarian birthed a lamb that has the face of a human but the ears of a sheep. Gnarly, right? Quite right:
Erhan Elibol, a vet, performed a caesarean on the animal to take the lamb out, but was horrified to see that the features of the lamb’s snout bore a striking resemblance to a human face.
“I’ve seen mutations with cows and sheep before. I’ve seen a one-eyed calf, a two-headed calf, a five-legged calf. But when I saw this youngster I could not believe my eyes. His mother could not deliver him so I had to help the animal,” the 29-year-old veterinary said.
The lamb’s head had human features on – the eyes, the nose and the mouth – only the ears were those of a sheep.
Vets said that the rare mutation most likely occurred as a result of improper mutation since the fodder for the lamb’s mother was abundant with vitamin A.
Vitamin A? Hardly. More like Vitamin C(men.)
Looks like Turkey is trying to one-up New Zealand.
(H/T to mme marbles)
The Truth Hurts.
Paris Hilton, celebutard extraordinaire is pissed off at an advertising company in Wellington, New Zealand because it used her picture and the word “vacant” to advertise empty billboard space:
Hilton’s manager Jamie Freed said from Los Angeles Media5 had not gained permission to use the image and could expect to hear from her lawyers.
Media5′s Adam McGregor said the company was just having a “bit of fun” with the billboard, which was designed to draw attention to unsold display.
Ah New Zealand. I heart ye.
Seems to me that “vacant” is appropriate. As is “This is a waste of space.”
It’s late and I can’t think of any other appropriate turns of phrase. Can you? Let me know in the comments section.
Where the men are men, and the sheep are scared.
Can’t get enough of that musky barnyard scent? Are you ready to explore interspecies love, but don’t have the haggis to arrive unannounced at the pasture where sheep are grazing partying. Where can an Ovis enthusiast go for the best sexy sheep webcams and naughty sheep photos?
Why, adultsheepfinder.com, of course! It’s New Zealand’s number one dating site! It has over 20,000 members!
If you love sheep and also want to love sheep, you have a lot in common with New Zealanders. I should know! Having recently traveled to New Zealand, for the first time, I can expertly attest that there are a lot of men who yearn to work it on sheep farms. A lot.
So what are you waiting for? Stop ruminating! Throw on your plushest fleece and herd on over to New Zealand. Baa Ram Ewe!
(Thanks to Sloe for the tip!)