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Hear that?  It’s the sound of the lesser known fifth horseman of the apocalypse approaching.

Tyler Perry annoys me.  I think he’s a subpar filmmaker and is too big for his britches.  I mean, seriously?  Do you need to attach your name to every gottdamn movie that you make?  Isn’t there some sort of quality threshold that a filmmaker must achieve before he can start slappin’ his name on everything?  “Tyler Perry presents Tyler Perry written and directed by Tyler Perry, with lyrics by Steven Tyler and vocals by Steve Perry.”

Will somebody please kill me in the face?

Listen up, dude.  You’re not Francis Ford Coppola.  So enough already.  We get it.  You like to dress in drag, exaggerate stereotypes of the black community, and produce movies that are so predictable that I could probably tell you the plot of every movie without even having seen them.  Now, I’m not claiming there’s anything malicious in his portrayal of the black community.  But does it have to be so one note?  Maybe I’m too “bougie” or whatever, but his movies don’t represent me or any of the black folks that I’m friends with.

I mean, I guess I have to appreciate, in the abstract, that a black filmmaker has achieved as much success as he obviously has.  But the glaring problem is that his movies are not well-written or particularly well-made, so la dee frickin da.  You have your own production company and are rolling in your piles of money, but for what?  To thrust more bullshit into an already bullshit-laden film market?

Part of my annoyance with Tyler Perry stems from the fact that I think he has a responsibility to make better movies so black actors and actresses can star in better movies.  There are so few quality roles out there for black folks, it’s almost as if black actors have to star in Tyler Perry movies.  If you’re black, Spike Lee is busy, and you’re name isn’t Denzel Washington, then you have to suckle from Tyler Perry’s teat.  And I’m telling you, that milk has gone bad.  (I’m calling it right now–Gabourey Sidibe will, at some point in her career, star in a Tyler Perry film.  It’s going to happen.)

Tyler Perry is clearly Black Director Numero Uno right now, so why the hell can’t he hone his craft a little bit more–maybe team up with better writers–and produce a good movie?  A great movie.  A movie that will make me eat my words.  Because let me tell you something–that Medea shit is not funny.   Perhaps his work is better suited for theater.  I don’t know.  I don’t really care enough to find out.

And yes, I am aware that hella black folks love his movies.  And maybe you think I’m just a hater feasting on hater tots.  I’m ok with that.  It doesn’t change the fact that Tyler Perry sucks.

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