Zombie Breitbart must be rolling over in his grave.
Breitbart minion Jason Mattera thought he’d scored a great interview with U2′s Bono. Mattera ambushed “Bono” at some event in order to grill “Bono” (an Irish citizen) about why “Bono” is hiding tax money in Holland… or something:
U2 singer Bono is known for his antipoverty activism, which includes calls on most world governments to spend more on foreign aid. Yet when it comes to the finances of Bono’s own company, he’s apparently a bit more of a Scrooge. Moreover, he’s loath to admit it, as an interview with author Jason Mattera caught on tape showed. You can watch the video and read the transcript of some select excerpts provided by Breitbart.com below…
Except the Bono he interviewed wasn’t the Bono. It was an impersonator. Not only that, it’s an obvious impersonator! The video has been set to private on YouTube, but you can view it here because the Internet is forever:
A federal judge admitted to sending a racist email about President Obama and offered the most piss-poor excuse for doing so: He didn’t intend for the email (which he sent from his government email address, mind you) to become public.
National Review Online published an impossibly stupid article on the travails of one Herman Cain and the sexual assault and harassment allegations that are stacking up against him. It’s a rambly tl;dr piece that says nothing and makes no recognizable effort to try. It’s the literary equivalent of the tiny puffs of gas that my dog unwittingly excretes while he sleeps.
The author, some clown who calls himself Victor Davis Hanson, purports to discuss the difference between Cain and President Obama: “Cain’s authenticity vs. Obama’s metrosexual cool” (Get it, wingnuts? The Sheriff’s a nigger homo!)
Hanson’s “article” is a pathetic piece of Cain propaganda that attempts to resurrect a golden-child simulacrum of Herman Cain that never existed in the first place, and was merely a figment of the GOP’s addled collective imagination. Where Hanson sees “Black authenticity as defined by Southern mannerisms and darker complexion, amplified by conservatism or traditionalism,” I see unabashed incompetence and the human embodiment of Idiocracy.
Republicans are in an Internet uproar over an erroneous media report quoting EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson as calling them “jack-booted thugs” during a speech at the University of California at Berkeley.
Trouble is, Jackson didn’t level the term at Republicans. Instead, she used it to refer to her own employees, jokingly borrowing language that the EPA’s critics have used to describe the agency’s workers.
Your pathetic facts can never be allowed to stop the Almighty Right Wing Noise Machine from LAUNCH ALL ARGLE BLARGLE NOW WITH SIRENS. That rocketship’s gonna fly and we don’t care where it lands, baby: Continue reading →
Why would you fuck with a guy who is wicked smart, surrounded by talented comedic writers and performers who basically have nothing to do but figure out how to spend a half hour of television time every night?
Nope. They never learn. And the writers at The Daily Show did not disappoint, using Trump’s dumbassery as a hook for hilarity about Ann “We Have Very Impressive Blacks” Coulter and her cockamamie notion that Herman Cain is “blacker” than Obama:
“How come Jon Stewart gets away with a racist rant against Herman Cain?” Trump asked. “Nobody else could pull that off. Where is Rev. Jackson? Where is Rev. Sharpton? Where are all the critics where if someone else did it, it would be a disaster?”
Herman Cain opened his mouth and more stupid fell out:
“Barack Obama is more of an international,” Cain said. “I think he’s out of the mainstream and always has been. Look, he was raised in Kenya [No. No he was not. He really wasn't. Not even a little. Stop repeating a lie, you ignorant twit. -ed.], his mother was white from Kansas and her family had an influence on him, it’s true, but his dad was Kenyan, and when he was going to school he got a lot of fellowships, scholarships, he stayed in the academic environment for a long time. He spent most of his career as an intellectual.”
Cain is a couple months late on this birther business, but evidently dude has no problem talking about stuff he knows nothing about.
Herman. Herman, Herman, Herman. Buddy. What are you doing? Go back to Shady Pines. It’s time to eat your butterscotch pudding and watch your stories. This presidential campaign stuff isn’t for you. Sarah Palin is running a better campaign than you are, and she’s not even running. If you’re going to be a giant dumbass, you should at least be appealing. You have all the charisma of a diaper full of cooked carrots.
Look, I know the country is still transfixed by Anthony’s Peener, but that will blow over (some day — I hope) and the ugly light of celebrité will soon shine on your hapless head. As such, I’m starting a list of your Stupid Greatest Hits. Let’s get crackin’:
Now for those of you who paid attention in grade school science class, you know that humans are animals. You can even look it up on your computer machine:
Yes, humans are animals. The human’s phylum is Chordata (vertebrate). The human’s class is mammalia. It’s [sic] order is primate (the same as apes). It’s [sic] family is Hominidae (apes that have no tail and can gather food with their hands.) The Human’s sub-family is Homininae. It’s [sic] tribe is Hominini. It’s [sic] genus is Homo and it’s [sic] specie is scientifically named Homo Sapiens.
Accordingly, prohibiting sexual contact or conduct with an animal prohibits sexual contact or conduct with a human.