Tag Archives: idiocracy

Breitbart Minion Grills Bono Impersonator; LOLZ Ensue

Posted on March 21, 2012 by | 12 Comments

Zombie Breitbart must be rolling over in his grave.

Breitbart minion Jason Mattera thought he’d scored a great interview with U2′s Bono. Mattera ambushed “Bono” at some event in order to grill “Bono” (an Irish citizen) about why “Bono” is hiding tax money in Holland… or something:

U2 singer Bono is known for his antipoverty activism, which includes calls on most world governments to spend more on foreign aid. Yet when it comes to the finances of Bono’s own company, he’s apparently a bit more of a Scrooge. Moreover, he’s loath to admit it, as an interview with author Jason Mattera caught on tape showed. You can watch the video and read the transcript of some select excerpts provided by Breitbart.com below…

Except the Bono he interviewed wasn’t the Bono. It was an impersonator. Not only that, it’s an obvious impersonator! The video has been set to private on YouTube, but you can view it here because the Internet is forever:

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Posted in Criminally Stupid, What the Crap!?

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Federal Judge's 'Apology' for Sending Racist Email About Obama is Ridiculous

Posted on February 29, 2012 by | 18 Comments

A federal judge admitted to sending a racist email about President Obama and offered the most piss-poor excuse for doing so: He didn’t intend for the email (which he sent from his government email address, mind you) to become public.

No seriously.  He said that:

Montana’s U.S. District Chief Judge Richard Cebull on Wednesday admitted to sending a racially charged e-mail about President Obama from his courthouse chambers. Continue reading →

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Posted in Now That's Some Racist Bullsh*t

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Sean Hannity: Osama bin Laden Would Be Alive If Obama Had His Way

Posted on February 8, 2012 by | 16 Comments

Sean Hannity needs to put down the crackpipe:

This is just another example of a failed Obama presidency. I mean, he can’t even not kill a guy properly!

Good gravy.

[via Media Matters]

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Posted in Fox News Fvckery, Please Die in a Fire

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National Review Online: Cain is an 'Authentic' Black, Obama is a 'Metrosexual' Fake

Posted on November 11, 2011 by | 11 Comments

Honestly? With this crap again?

National Review Online published an impossibly stupid article on the travails of one Herman Cain and the sexual assault and harassment allegations that are stacking up against him.  It’s a rambly tl;dr piece that says nothing and makes no recognizable effort to try.  It’s the literary equivalent of the tiny puffs of gas that my dog unwittingly excretes while he sleeps.

The author, some clown who calls himself Victor Davis Hanson, purports to discuss the difference between Cain and President Obama: “Cain’s authenticity vs. Obama’s metrosexual cool”  (Get it, wingnuts?  The Sheriff’s a nigger homo!)

Hanson’s “article” is a pathetic piece of Cain propaganda that attempts to resurrect a golden-child simulacrum of Herman Cain that never existed in the first place, and was merely a figment of the GOP’s addled collective imagination. Where Hanson sees “Black authenticity as defined by Southern mannerisms and darker complexion, amplified by conservatism or traditionalism,” I see unabashed incompetence and the human embodiment of Idiocracy.

You see, Herman Cain is, incontrovertibly, a fool: Continue reading →

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Posted in Now That's Some Racist Bullsh*t, Tales and Tirades, The Hermanator

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EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson did *not* call GOP "Jack-booted thugs"

Posted on November 5, 2011 by | 1 Comment

Argles Are Meant To Be Blargled, They Just Are

Even if every Republican in Washington was thrown out of office, we’d still have FOX News to contend with and their protomorphic reality-affecting powers.

Republicans are in an Internet uproar over an erroneous media report quoting EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson as calling them “jack-booted thugs” during a speech at the University of California at Berkeley.

Trouble is, Jackson didn’t level the term at Republicans. Instead, she used it to refer to her own employees, jokingly borrowing language that the EPA’s critics have used to describe the agency’s workers.

Your pathetic facts can never be allowed to stop the Almighty Right Wing Noise Machine from LAUNCH ALL ARGLE BLARGLE NOW WITH SIRENS. That rocketship’s gonna fly and we don’t care where it lands, baby:
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Posted in Balloon Juice Cross-Posts, Fox News Fvckery, Teabilly and GOP Mendacity, Zandar

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Jon Stewart Fires Back at Donald Trump over "Racist" Charge

Posted on November 3, 2011 by | Leave a comment

“I’ve taken criticism before. I’ve been called racist, stupid, an asshole, but this one hurts because of how much I respect Donald Trump…”

Yesterday I wrote a post about the silly Orange Supremacist calling Jon Stewart racist because Stewart used a funny voice to make a joke about kidnapping babies.

In response, John Cole said the following:

Do these idiots ever learn? Did Trump not see what happened to Jim Cramer? [Here's what happened to Jim Cramer. It isn't pretty. -ed.]

Why would you fuck with a guy who is wicked smart, surrounded by talented comedic writers and performers who basically have nothing to do but figure out how to spend a half hour of television time every night?

Nope. They never learn. And the writers at The Daily Show did not disappoint, using Trump’s dumbassery as a hook for hilarity about Ann “We Have Very Impressive Blacks” Coulter and her cockamamie notion that Herman Cain is “blacker” than Obama:

[video after the jump]

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Posted in Celebrity Shenanigans, Donald Trump the Orange Supremacist, Now That's Some Racist Bullsh*t, Shits and Giggles

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Donald Trump the Orange Supremacist calls Jon Stewart Racist; Has a Pot-Kettle Problem

Posted on November 2, 2011 by | Leave a comment

Irony to the white courtesy phone, please.

Donald “I have a good relationship with The Blacks™” Trump is calling for Jon Stewart’s head. Apparently, he lives in a world where making a joke about kidnapping babies is racist.

No, it doesn’t make any sense:

In his latest Youtube video Tuesday afternoon, the birther-curious host of The Apprentice had a lengthy rant about Stewart’s confusion over Cain’s response to the sexual harassment charges.”

“How come Jon Stewart gets away with a racist rant against Herman Cain?” Trump asked. “Nobody else could pull that off. Where is Rev. Jackson? Where is Rev. Sharpton? Where are all the critics where if someone else did it, it would be a disaster?”

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Posted in Celebrity Shenanigans, Donald Trump the Orange Supremacist, Now That's Some Racist Bullsh*t, Please Die in a Fire

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Herman Cain? SIT DOWN.

Posted on June 13, 2011 by | 6 Comments

Seriously, dude.  You’re embarrassing yourself.

Herman Cain opened his mouth and more stupid fell out:

“Barack Obama is more of an international,” Cain said. “I think he’s out of the mainstream and always has been. Look, he was raised in Kenya [No.  No he was not. He really wasn't. Not even a little.  Stop repeating a lie, you ignorant twit. -ed.], his mother was white from Kansas and her family had an influence on him, it’s true, but his dad was Kenyan, and when he was going to school he got a lot of fellowships, scholarships, he stayed in the academic environment for a long time. He spent most of his career as an intellectual.”

The above quote is from Jeffrey Goldberg’s piece on and interview with the Hermanator in Bloomberg News.  (Read the article.  It’s worth it.)

Cain is a couple months late on this birther business, but evidently dude has no problem talking about stuff he knows nothing about.

Herman.  Herman, Herman, Herman.  Buddy.  What are you doing?  Go back to Shady Pines.  It’s time to eat your butterscotch pudding and watch your stories.  This presidential  campaign stuff isn’t for you.  Sarah Palin is running a better campaign than you are, and she’s not even running.  If you’re going to be a giant dumbass, you should at least be appealing.  You have all the charisma of a diaper full of cooked carrots.

Look, I know the country is still transfixed by Anthony’s Peener, but that will blow over (some day — I hope) and the ugly light of celebrité will soon shine on your hapless head.  As such, I’m starting a list of your Stupid Greatest Hits. Let’s get crackin’:

(MOAR stupid for your face)

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Posted in Balloon Juice Cross-Posts, Political Shenanigans, The Hermanator

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New Stupidly-Written Law in Florida is Stupidly-Written — Bans Sex?!

Posted on May 11, 2011 by | 4 Comments

People this stupid shouldn’t even be having sex.

The Florida legislature passed a poorly-written law meant to address bestiality (because apparently Floridians are shagging gators or whatever) but which seemingly bans sex between humans.

The law states:

An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

Now for those of you who paid attention in grade school science class, you know that humans are animals. You can even look it up on your computer machine:

Yes, humans are animals. The human’s phylum is Chordata (vertebrate). The human’s class is mammalia. It’s [sic] order is primate (the same as apes). It’s [sic] family is Hominidae (apes that have no tail and can gather food with their hands.) The Human’s sub-family is Homininae. It’s [sic] tribe is Hominini. It’s [sic] genus is Homo and it’s [sic] specie is scientifically named Homo Sapiens.

Accordingly, prohibiting sexual contact or conduct with an animal prohibits sexual contact or conduct with a human.

Derp.

As noted by Southern Fried Scientist:

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Posted in Balloon Juice Cross-Posts, Political Shenanigans, Teabilly and GOP Mendacity, Weird Ass Shenanigans, What the Crap!?

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