Tag Archives: Canada

A break in the madness: Singing lobster gives excellent advice.

Posted on February 28, 2012 by | 2 Comments

On Friday, I posted a clip of Billy Bragg singing to a dancing Canadian lobster. (Nova Scotian, to be more precise). I allowed as how I would like to know more about this dancing lobster fella and Canadian kids’ TV in general, and an obliging commenter helped me out – check out her knowledge and prodigious Google-fu here. Bottom line for our purposes? Dude’s name is “Captain Claw.”

You might well imagine that armed with this information, I proceeded to the YouTube. Whereupon I found the following piece of sheer delight: Captain Claw singing the undeniably catchy “When You’ve Got to Go” song.

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Posted in A Wee Bit O' Hilarity, Cute Shenanigans, International Shenanigans, Now Hear This!

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Jack Layton’s final words.

Posted on August 24, 2011 by | 19 Comments

On an Ottawa sidewalk.

I’m not Canadian, and though I’ve recently tried to get a little bit more abreast of Canadian politics and culture (starting with the wonderful Canada! How does it work?, by Canadian extraordinaire Michelle Dean, at The Awl), I will confess that I had only the vaguest notion of who Jack Layton was before he died of cancer this week at age 61.

Who he was, was leader of the opposition New Democratic Party, but by all accounts, Jack Layton was also much more than that. I’m only beginning to learn, but I’ve learned enough to wish that I could have voted for him, and that he might still be alive and well up north of me, making the world a better, more loving place.

I say “loving” because my internet friend corkingiron tells me that Mr. Layton apparently advised the men with whom he worked to use words like “love” and “compassion” and “nurture” more often, and the barrage of quotes that Mr. Layton’s admirers are now sending around the internet feature the word “love” quite a lot. Love — in politics. Now that is a concept to bring tears of gratitude to my eyes.

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Posted in Emily L. Hauser, International Shenanigans, Musings

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Justin Bieber is a Dodgers Fan, Apparently. Thanks, Canada.

Posted on August 15, 2010 by | Leave a comment

If this is Bieber’s world, I would like to relocate.

Yesterday, as I was driving back from the East Meets West Pro-Am Pole Dancing Competition, which my friend Natasha won because she is exactly awesome, I drove by a billboard that shocked, awed, and horrified me (in that order):1

This was my reaction:

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Posted in Celebrity Shenanigans, What the Crap!?

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Justin Bieber Gets Nailed in the Head with a Watrer [sic] Bottle!

Posted on August 9, 2010 by | Leave a comment

“Honestly, I’m a big fan of Justin Beaver and this offends me. Toby.”

I know why she threw it at you.  She was trying to dislodge your stupid hair from your head.

By the way, Toby is not amused.

[via Pajiba via Buzzfeed]


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Posted in A Wee Bit O' Hilarity, Celebrity Shenanigans

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Justin Bieber is Writing His Memoirs

Posted on August 2, 2010 by | Leave a comment

And I am currently setting myself on fire

Oh for the love of biscuits.  Seriously?  No, really.  SERIOUSLY?!  He is 16 years old.  What the fuck has he done in 16 years that warrants a book?  Oh yeah, nothing.  It’s just going to be packed with pictures of him with his hat on sideways, throwin’ up peace signs, and brushing his stupid hair, and every parent to a daughter with Bieber fever is going to be pestered by “Please, can you buy it for me!  Please!  Please!  Couldja couldja couldja couldja??!!!” until the only recourse will be to buy the book or set your kid on fire:

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Posted in Celebrity Shenanigans, Please Die in a Fire

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Kids Don’t Like Bieber Either

Posted on July 22, 2010 by | Leave a comment

If you hate Justen Bever [sic] SINE!1

Angry Black commenter and friend SeaKat took this picture at her daughter’s summer day camp.  This is the kind of picture that restores your faith in humanity, isn’t it?

[Ear and/or eyemuff your children if you're going to click after the jump. And if you're letting your kids read my blog, there's something wrong with your mind-head]

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Posted in A Wee Bit O' Hilarity, Angry Black Reader Participation, Celebrity Shenanigans, Cute Shenanigans, I Am Batshit Insane

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Justin Bieber Biopic Is In Development

Posted on July 19, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Oh Biebus Christ.  For serious?

Honestly, we might as well all just kill ourselves right now.  A Justin Bieber biopic is rumored to be in the works.  It’ll be like 8 Mile but with less Detroit, more Canada, less real bacon, more fake bacon, and sixty percent more bowls of stupid hair:

When Justin Bieber professed his desire to be a major movie star just three months ago, he couldn’t have known his wish was about to come true. But guess what, BFFs?  The Biebster is about to become a movie star!


HollywoodLife.com can exclusively confirm that a script similar to the 2002 film 8 Mile is in development – and close to completion! “There currently isn’t a final script, but just like Eminem did in 8 Mile, Justin will star!” an industry insider tells us.


There’s one catch, though. Given JB’s small stature, studio execs are joking that the upcoming film “should be called 4 Mile, or Half Mile,” laughed our insider.


The Biebster first professed his desire to star in a movie to Teen Vogue back in April, telling the magazine, “We’re trying to set up a movie for me in the near future—it’s going to be similar to the story of how I got discovered – kinda like my own version of 8 Mile.”

So what should you expect from the 16-year-old singer’s feature? Eminem’s 2002 art-imitating-life flick was about a young rapper growing up in Detroit, including his alcoholic mom issues, struggle with drugs and burgeoning career.


If Justin’s film is similar to HIS life, expect to see Biebs reveal his loneliness at growing up with a single mom, his tough life on the streets in Canada (we kid) and how, after promoting himself shamelessly on YouTube, Usher and Justin Timberlake fought tooth and nail for the young singer. Oh yeah, and Kim Kardashian should totally cameo!

HA HA!  4 Mile!  How clever!  LOL out loud!

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from stabbing the nearest Canadian…



...or the nearest black person.



[Video after the jump.  I don't recommend watching it.  Unless you want to set yourself on fire as I have just done.]

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Posted in Celebrity Shenanigans

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Amanda Bynes is Retiring From Acting; Thinks Black Dudes are Hot

Posted on June 22, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Amanda who?!

She is rumored to be dating Drake who is black and... Canadian!


This week, 24 year old Amanda Bynes announced on Twitter that she is retiring from acting. Upon hearing this announcement, the planet said, “Amanda who?!”

Amanda Bynes!

Like, duh.  She’s, like, totally famous for her immemorable roles.  She was… Blonde Girl #2, in that one movie.  You know, the one where the girl does the thing and then everyone is all, “LOL.” And, who could forget her breakout role in She’s the Man?

Only everybody.

But that’s not even the craziest part!  Just minutes before the news of her sudden retirement from acting shocked the cool kid table during fourth period lunch***, she dropped this bombshell on us:


What the crap?  You can’t just tweet news like that with no warning, chicky!  You have to make sure people are sitting down first; that they are ready to read that the former star of That Show With All Those People In It Whatsit Called? I Can’t Remember! likes black men is very attracted to them just fyi.

I mean, really, Amanda.  Have some consideration for your fan!

News like that is like a punch to the ham wallet It’s hard to take just fyi.

***There are too people who attend high school at 4 a.m.  I don’t make the news, I just make it up.


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Bieber Bangs His Head on a Door LOL OMG WTF

Posted on May 22, 2010 by | Leave a comment

“Yo, whattup?”

Yo, your hair is stupid.

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Posted in Celebrity Shenanigans

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