Tag Archives: Balloon Juice Cross-Post

Oklahoma vs. Westboro Baptist Church

something-something “where the wind comes sweeping down the plain”1


Sometimes what you need on a Monday is a little schadenfreude for the soul.  Here’s some, for ya:

Members of a Kansas church who protest at military funerals may have found themselves in the wrong town Saturday.

Shortly after finishing their protest at the funeral of Army Sgt. Jason James McCluskey of McAlester, a half-dozen protesters from Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kan., headed to their minivan, only to discover that its front and rear passenger-side tires had been slashed.

To make matters worse, as their minivan slowly hobbled away on two flat tires, with a McAlester police car following behind, the protesters were unable to find anyone in town who would repair their vehicle, according to police.

The minivan finally pulled over several blocks away in a shopping center parking lot, where AAA was called. A flatbed service truck eventually arrived and loaded up the minivan.

Assistant Police Chief Darrell Miller said the minivan was taken to Walmart for repairs.

Even before the protesters discovered their damaged tires, they faced off with a massive crowd of jeering and taunting counter-protesters at Third Street and Washington Avenue, two blocks from the First Baptist Church, where the soldier’s funeral was held.

Miller estimated that crowd to number nearly 1,000 people, and they not only drowned out the Westboro protesters with jeers, but with raucous chants of “USA, USA.”

Fred Phelps is an asshole.  The members of the Westboro Baptist Church are assholes.  They got thusly served. Continue reading

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Keith Olbermann: He's Baaaaaack!

WTF MSNBC?!

After being suspended for two whole shows, KO is back!  MSNBC’s Phil Griffin announced that Keith would return to the air on Tuesday.  MSNBC suspended Keith last week after Griffin discovered that Olbermann had made a whopping 7.5K in political contributions without seeking prior approval.  Many in Blogistan have wondered why the hell one would have to seek approval.  Was such approval ever denied?  And if it was, isn’t that, like, some sort of violation of something? Like common fucking sense? I can’t imagine that a company can pick and choose for its employees what political donations are or are not permissible. It’s basically the “Whatevah! I do what I want!” rule. Otherwise, MSNBC should have enacted a policy preventing all its employees from donating to anything at all. Full stop.

Well, whatever.  It doesn’t matter anymore because he’s back!  And you know the Malkinites and Teatwits are all pissed off, and that alone makes me alive with pleasure:

The host of MSNBC’s “Countdown” was given an indefinite suspension last week after his boss, network president Phil Griffin, discovered that Olbermann had made political contributions without seeking prior approval, as per company policy.

A network spokesman released the following statement via email:

STATEMENT REGARDING KEITH OLBERMANN – SUNDAY, NOV. 7

From Phil Griffin, President of MSNBC:

After several days of deliberation and discussion, I have determined that suspending Keith through and including Monday night’s program is an appropriate punishment for his violation of our policy. We look forward to having him back on the air Tuesday night.

Hey MSNBC?  That egg?  How does it feel all over your face?

[cross-posted at Balloon Juice; click here to join that conversation, or start your own conversation in the comments here!]

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The Obamas Go to Bollywood

Shooby Doo Wa DANCE.

I’m an India-phile. I’ve been there three times; the last trip was a four-month long SIT Study Abroad program during my junior year of college. Cultural immersion is a beautiful thing. I remember a particular trip we took to a village north of Udaipur where, after spending a day with a group of children, we spent an evening learning some super sweet Indian dance moves as a part of a cultural exchange night. After teaching us some of their dance moves, the children asked us to teach them some of our dance moves. I’ll never forget when my friend C (we met on the plane from LAX to New Delhi and she is still one of my best friends, 15 years later) jumped up, started singing “Beat It” and dancing wildly. It was awesome. The kids loved it. Hell, I loved it. Sitting in a remote village a thousand miles a way from home watching her sing “Beat It” while the kids all giggled? Those are moments one never forgets.

So I was pleased to see that Michelle Obama seems to have had a similar experience during the Obamas’ eleventy million dollar a day trip to India; she visited the University of Mumbai and spent some time playing hopscotch and dancing with 33 disadvantaged students from an Indian charity called “Make a Difference”:

[more videos after the jump] Continue reading

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"An Open Letter to the White Right, On the Occasion of Your Recent, Successful Temper Tantrum" – Tim Wise

This times infinity plus eleventy squared

I’m posting Tim Wise’s latest screed in full because it’s just that good.

*NOTE: PLEASE RE-READ THE TITLE OF THIS ESSAY BEFORE GOING FURTHER. NOTICE, IT IS AIMED AT THE WHITE RIGHT. NOT ALL WHITE PEOPLE. ANYONE WHO THINKS THIS ESSAY IS “ANTI-WHITE PEOPLE,” AS OPPOSED TO THAT SEGMENT OF THE WHITE COMMUNITY THAT IS RIGHT WING, CANNOT READ PLAIN ENGLISH. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.*
_____

For all y’all rich folks, enjoy that champagne, or whatever fancy ass Scotch you drink.

And for y’all a bit lower on the economic scale, enjoy your Pabst Blue Ribbon, or whatever shitty ass beer you favor.

Whatever the case, and whatever your economic station, know this…

You need to drink up.

And quickly.

And heavily.

Because your time is limited.

Real damned limited.

So party while you can, but mind the increasingly loud clock ticking away in the corners of your consciousness.

The clock that reminds you how little time you and yours have left.

Not much more now.

Tick, tock.

Tick, tock.

Tick.

Tock. Continue reading

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Teabagging Christmas: A Festivus for the Rest of Us

Oh holy shit night.

I’m coming right out and saying it: Teabaggers have no sense of humor. Zero. None. Nada. It’s a wonder that they are even able to tie their shoes in the morning.

Jesus H. Bieber in a manger:

The Liberal Clause: Socialism on a Sleigh is written by David Hedrick, a Tea Party candidate who lost his bid this year to be the Republican candidate for Washington’s third district. You may remember him from this recent story where he is accused of physically assaulting his wife. I think I was the only person to buy a copy of The Liberal Clause last night because Hedrick came over personally to shake my hand, talking excitedly about what he’d created (the book costs $20 so I’m not surprised a lot of people passed). The story, he told me, came naturally one night as he was making up a bedtime story for his children (the book is dedicated to them with the warning “Never forget that free goodies from liberal elves often come at a price”). The satire where Obama steals Christmas that Hedrick came up with on that fateful night was too good not to be illustrated and published for all children to enjoy.

Are you ready for a bedtime story, Blogtownies? Below the cut are some pictures, a rundown of the plot and some choice excerpts for your edutainment.

The Liberal Clause takes place in the small town of Camas, WA where, for as long as anyone can remember, the children have been given the special responsibility of electing the Great Elf Council that serves at the North Pole. This year, however, the ballots go missing. Suspiciously, nasty ol’ Elf Peloosi discovers a box she claims are the missing ballots under a shelf in the back of a union warehouse. The elves are so glad the ballots have been recovered that they don’t bother to question the fact that there are more ballots returned than were cast! This is all reported in local newspaper, The Christmas Times, above a picture of Hendrick himself with the subtitle “Camas man’s rant goes viral”.

The elves’ relief dissipates quickly as it becomes clear something fishy is going on. After the Liberal Party of Elves takes over the Great Council Santa Claus suddenly goes missing and the elf people are told he is being replaced. An excerpt from the book with all dubious spelling and punctuation kept intact: Continue reading

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I want it all; I want it all; I want it all… AND I WANT IT NOW!

A Letter to a Whiny Young Democrat Progressive.

This:

Oh, now you’ve done it. See? You see what happens when you young liberal voters get so disgruntled and disillusioned that you drop all your party’s newborn, hard-won ideas about Hope™ and Change™, without any patience, without really giving them sufficient time to mature, without understanding that hugely foreign, anti-American concept known as “the long view”?

See what happens when you wallow in hollow disappointment, trudging all over your liberal arts campus and refusing to vote in a rather important mid-term election, all because your pet issues and nubile ego weren’t immediately serviced by a mesmerizing guy named Barack Obama just after he sucked you into his web of fuzzyhappy promises a mere two years ago, back when you were knee-high to a shiny liberal ideology?

Well, now you know. This is what happens: The U.S. House of Representatives, the most insufferable gaggle of political mongrels this side of, well, the rest of Congress, reverts to GOP control like a brain tumor reverts to a more aggressive form of cancer, and everything gets bleaker and sadder and, frankly, a whole lot nastier.

What happens is: Many kinds of fragmented, muddled, but still constructive Democratic progress might get stopped quite nearly dead, and even a few pieces of legislation we actually did gain get slapped around, threatened, stomped on the head like a scientist at a Rand Paul rally. Happy now?

Read the rest of the article here.

::ducks and covers:: Continue reading

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Alaska is the New Minnesota

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Click Here to Read this Post and Join the Conversation at Balloon Juice.

Apparently “Murkowski” is too exotic?

Shenanigans are afoot in Alaska. After last week’s ruling that a list of write-in candidates could be provided to Alaska voters to help them figure out how not to vote for Joe Miller, the Miller-Palinites added over 150 new candidates to the race in the hopes of diluting any votes that would go to Murkowski:

As votes were counted in America’s tumultuous midterm last night, nowhere was there more scope for chaos in the complex counting process than in Alaska, where election supervisors were warning that declaring a winner in the US Senate race may not take a few hours, but perhaps days or even longer.

The problem is the Republican incumbent Lisa Murkowski and her exotic name. After losing the Republican primary contest to the Tea Party candidate Joe Miller, she decided to keep running as a “write-in”: her name did not appear on ballots last night but voters were free to write it down anyway.

Officials said that the law gives them 15 days to certify a winner. The last polls suggested that Mr Miller, Ms Murkowski and the Democrat candidate, Scott McAdams, were in a dead heat.

But there is worse: after the courts in Alaska ruled last week that election workers could hand voters a list showing the names of write-in candidates as they enter the voting booths, Miller supporters rushed to register themselves as last-minute runners just to dilute whatever advantage the lists might give to Ms Murkowski. Suddenly there were well over 150 write-in candidates in the race.

Derp!

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I’m mildly annoyed and I will likely have to take a whole lot more. [Balloon Juice Cross-Post]

A blunt truth.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Click Here to Read this Post and Join the Conversation at Balloon Juice.

Well, folks, it looks like the Democrats are in for a serious ass-whooping tomorrow. Already, bloggers and pundits are shaping their narrative. The right-wing bloggers will, of course, scream that Republicans took back the House (and maybe the Senate) because of Nancy Pelosi’s San Francisco values and Obama’s obvious socicommufascimuslinism, while some left-wing folks are going to scream that Obama was given A Progressive Chance of a Lifetime in 2008, which he wasted because he wasn’t progressive or forceful or angry enough. The stimulus was too small! The healthcare bill didn’t have a public option! Obama didn’t eviscerate DADT with a stroke of his pen! What’s with all this bipartisan crap?!

And then there’s Eugene Robinson. He is one of the few members of the punditocracy who seems to have paid any attention during Obama’s campaign. Obama didn’t campaign as a radical liberal, and those who say he did either weren’t paying attention, or just heard what they wanted to hear. Perhaps I’m reading too much into the left-wing complaints (like this one and this one) regarding Obama’s failure to be “progressive enough,” but it seems to me that the only thing that some lefties haven’t yet screamed is, “BUT YOU’RE BLACK!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE RADICALLY PROGRESSIVE! ON ACCOUNT OF YOUR BLACKNESS!”

As Robinson points out, the votes were not there. They just weren’t. And I can guarandamntee that if Obama had used the “bully pulpit” sufficiently enough to appease the so-called manic progressives, the racism from the right would have been much more pronounced, and much more vociferous. It likely would have reached levels that would have been more destructive to this country.

To state it bluntly, black men don’t have the luxury to get “mad as hell.” When black men get “Network mad,” white folks get nervous. Look how nervous white folks are now.

[image via Cobb]

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Texas is Messing With Itself

Christine O’Donnell Would Not Approve

I was in a rollicking good mood today, y’all. I got my hair did; I took half the day off; and after running around to various purported postal service locations to pick up the keys to my friend’s pad in D.C. (at this point, I can’t really say that privatizing the postal service wouldn’t be a bad idea, considering that few people who work at the damn post office seem to know their asses from  their elbows; maybe I will join the Tea Par–oh, who the fuck am I kidding), I am ready to crack open a beer and get fired up for the Rally to Restore Sanity, even though for some reason every time I go to type “Rally to Restore Sanity” I end up typing and deleting “Rally to Restore Insanity.  I’m crazy, y’all.  I must admit, however, that I am looking forward to flying out of LAX about as much as a Mexican looks forward to traveling to Arizona or Nevada, which is exactly not at all.

In any (non-extinction level) event, if any of you are planning on attending and want to know where you can find me, just activate your ABL brain chip.

What?

Brain chip?

What brain chip? I didn’t say anything about a brain chip.

Moving on…

My rollicking good mood just came to a screeching halt. Why? Well, because of this fuckery, obvs: Continue reading

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