This evening, the House voted to approve a stand-alone measure that would allow the Senate to do jack shit repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Almost everybody either actively wants DADT to be repealed, or actively doesn’t give a crap whether or not it’s repealed.
Service members have been surveyed. Pentagon studies have been conducted and re-conducted. The American people have been polled, re-polled, and omni-polled. Pepaw McCain has been reanimated to voice his ghoulish disapproval.
And the consensus is clear: Repeal this stupid fucking law already.
But good ol’ Louie Gohmert (R-Tex) ain’t havin’ it. He’s downright concerned, y’all. This time, he’s not concerned about the little brown terrorists that are breeding in the wombs of every Muslin Puerto Mexican woman, incubating-in-wait until they are fully formed and ready to blow our shit up. (He has evidence! Anker babiezz are ferreals, y’all! It’s already happening!)
No, citizens. This time, he’s worried about the utter destruction of civilization as we know it.
You know how they always say, “Rome wasn’t built in a day?” Well, what they don’t want you to know is that Rome was brought down by the gay.1
But Gohmert knows. He knows that the repeal of DADT will be the downfall of these United States. This country is going to explode with gay, and we will all be doomed to live our lives in a ring of eternal fire and ass-less chaps.
Our United States flag will no longer be red white and blue; it will be ROYGBIV; and instead of stars and stripes, bedazzled glittery shiny thingies will grace the flag.
He is dead serious about this: If you homos can’t control your hormones, we are all going to die in a hot gay fire; so get it together, will you?
GOHMERT: To my friend who said that history would judge us poorly, I would submit if you would look thoroughly at history — and I’m not saying it’s cause and effect — but when militaries throughout history of the greatest nations in the world have adopted the policy that “fine for homosexuality to be overt” — you can keep it private and control your hormones fine, if you can’t, that’s fine too — they’re toward the end of their existence as a great nation.
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