Whew! Thank you all for our well wishes. I must say, I am in a tizzy over the unexpected joyous event that will be occurring this month, early April at the latest. I was planning on revealing my platform for the Republican primary in this point, but I got sidetracked. Over in the Rumper Room at Rumproast, Tom65 asked where I was registered so he could get me the appropriate toaster. Then, sean posted this link for a toaster I MUST have. Can you imagine serving Jesus toast to Sarah Palin? I bet Rich Lowry gets starbursts** just thinking about it.
I realized that I know so little about this whole getting hitched thing, so I started looking shit up. I mean, I know the general basics–you have the bridal shower, you register, you get a shitload*** of gifts. That’s pretty much it, right? That’s the basic outline, but the devil (or the angel in this case!) is in the details. Did you know that nun novitiates have bridal registries? OK. That may not be true, but I ran across it when I was looking for Christian registries, and I found it fascinating to ponder at the very least.
Anyhoo, there is a bunch of shit I need to do in order for this wedding to go off without a hitch. And, I have a brilliant idea cooked up by my best friend, Kat, which I will reveal at the end of this post.
In the meantime, there is work to be done. As some of the lay-dees may know, there are games played at bridal showers. I don’t know why or who thought this was a good idea, but I’m trying to get into the swing of things and do my wedding the traditional way, so shower games there will be. Here is a webpage with good ideas for Christian games. My favorites are “Pin the Fig on Adam”, “The Snake Game: Bruise the Serpent’s Head”, and, “Ice Breaker: Biblical Diva”. In the last game, you get thirty seconds to name your favorite Biblical Diva. Then, you write it on a name tag and wear it for the rest of the game. I have dibs on Lilith, the first wife of Adam! She was a total badass. Although, Judith of Holofernes was pretty damn righteous, too. But, it’s a bit of a mouthful. ”Judith of Holofernes, can you please pass the salt?” It doesn’t roll of the tongue, does it?
Update! Chad N Freude over at BJ reminded me that Judith beheaded Holofernes, which I knew, but I thought she was also of Holofernes. A further Google search proved me incorrect. So, now I am torn as to whether I would choose Lilith or Judith. Argh! One more difficult choice to make! Update over!