SCOFF.
Here’s a nugget of ridiculous for you.
The Laurens County Republican Party in South Carolina is chastening it up, requiring aspiring party members to pledge that they’ve never had premarital sex, and that they will never look at porn again.
No, seriously:
Before you can join the Laurens County Republican Party in South Carolina and get on the primary ballot, they ask that you pledge that you’ve never ever had pre-marital sex — and that you will never ever look at porn again.
Last Tuesday, the LCGOP unanimously adopted a resolution that would ask all candidates who want to get on the primary ballot to sign a pledge with 28 principles, because the party “does not want to associate with candidates who do not act and speak in a manner that is consistent with the SC Republican Party Platform.”
Among the principles, according to Vic MacDonald & Larry Franklin of the Clinton Chronicle, is standard fare like opposition to abortion and upholding gun rights, as well as “a compassionate and moral approach to Teen Pregnancy” and “a high regard for United States Sovereignty.”
But then they get even more specific. From the Chronicle:
You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.
You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.
You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.
Taking a swipe at gays, adulterers, and premarital-sex-offenders? Classic.
Please let the LCGOP force potential candidates to submit to a lie detector test. Please oh please oh please.
[via TPM]
And the GOP goes past going from sublime to ridiculous, straight into the realm of batshit crazy.
Make all the candidates wear chastity belts!
I feel really bad for the creative people at The Onion, because the GOP has completely taken over their turf.
Peak wingnut is not when the insanity ends, but when the insanity has stretched so far that it becomes impossible for the sane to mock.
You comment made me laugh so hard I forgot what I was going to post……
Allan:
Total OT but when do we have the next discussion of “Rules For Radicals ?”
I think I need help because I’m feeling so ‘radical’ these days I could forget the ‘rules.’ I have a sad tendency to get passionate, physical, & sometimes “postal”
I threw a full rack of barbecued ribs at my family once. (They deserved it!!!)
Let us know the new schedule, OKAY?
I’m wondering what kind of test they will put people through to confirm the “truthiness” of their pledge that they never had premarital sex……..
Laurens County is going to have the smallest Republican Party in the country, and those that are left are going to wonder why they can’t find any candidates.
I want them to insist that Santorum and his wife both claim they’ve only done it seven times. After all, it’s only for procreation, isn’t it?
Old white man here, glad I found you.
This litmus test probably isn’t the best recruiting tool, but I think the point, for this particular group of GOPers, is that it’s something they can use to beat up icky libtards with. So when one of the GOPers is caught in the inevitable sexy-time scandal they can point to this silly pledge and sneer, “Well, at least we have standards!!!!!!!” Implicit in such impotent chest beating is the (erroneous) notion that we icky libtards do not have standards of moral and ethical behavior, what with our slutty gay marriage abortions and all.
NO PORN!?!?! HOW ELSE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE NOT HAVING ANY PRE-MARITAL SEX!?!?!
CMON, SOUTH CAROLINA … THROW A BONER A FRICKIN’ BONE!?!?!
I guess they’re advocating stating of the intertubes as well. After all, we know that the Internet is just about porn and piracy. But I’m sure there’s a downside as well.
Just so you know … the “edit comment” doesn’t work. :roll:
The line between the GOP and Taliban narrows again.
I wonder if they give a bye on extra-marital sex if it is between cousins.
It’s full of loop holes. What is their definition of sex precisely? And also “look at”? Can you still engage in heterosexual anal/oral sex and hand jobs? Can you listen to porn? Can you ‘look at’ bible versus as porn plays in the corner of your eye? What about those websites that have pornography as their sidebar ads? And what if I am in a same-sex relationship, but our genders are not the same?
What about the JC Penny catalog? Pictures of women and men in their underwear, ya know.
OMG! I’m going to need the Depends!
My Granny told me once that men used to search for the corset ads in the Sears catalog while they were sitting in the back house which is why the women tore these pages out before the catalog got used for toilet paper.
They are just going to take people’s word for this? Que!!!??!!!
When one of our daughters was pregnant with her first child (which turned out to be twins) She jokingly told her father: “I’m still a virgin.” His response was: “Well you better name this one ‘Jesus’ unless it’s a girl.”
What about animal porn? Does that count??
LMAO!
It probably doesn’t count because these GOP are all goatfiggers or they secretly want to fig goats. My recent knowledge is that Goats are getting really pissed about this & have formed a consortium to defend themselves and their families from this egregious practice.
Beyond the fact that I’ve met very few people who have remain virgins into their late 20′s and beyond that aren’t straight up weirdos – this is either a joke or the Republicans really are letting the inmates run the asylum.
First of all you’ve discounted hundreds of qualified candidates for a ridiculous standard no modern person should be expected to meet up to. You’re left nerds, geeks, possible child molesters and other weirdos.
You know what kind of candidates have premarital sex? Obama, G.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, JFK. You know – guys with personality.
You know who doesn’t have premarital sex? Stiff, out of touch losers like Santorum and Romney.
Hell, by their own Puritanical standards – the previous nor current SC Governors wouldn’t meet their standards.
LOL, Cappadonna…I would just bet my two pesos that both Romney & Santorum lied about their early sex life like two really cheap rugs!!!