My Angry Black Readers probably remember this post by ABL about the Satanic, lezzie, whore-making Girl Scouts as imagined by Indiana House Republican, Bob Morris (R-Jackholeville).
Well, I have some good news in the GSA department and some bad news – which would you like first? Good news? I would have asked for the bad news first so I could finish up with some good news, but I defer to the wishes of my readers.
The good news comes via Rachel Maddow Steve Benen on Rachel Maddow’s blog. This crazed bullshit by Bob Morris about the Girl Scouts was not appreciated at all. Even some of his fellow Republicans thought he went too far – including the Speaker of the House Brian Bosma. Speaker Bosma told his House colleagues that he bought 278 cases of Girl Scout Cookies in a 48-hour period in response to Rep. Morris’s incredibly asinine statements.
Bosma, R-Indianapolis, pointedly offered Girl Scout cookies throughout the day and munched them as he presided over the House.[...]
And when time came for the House to adjourn, he asked all lawmakers who had been Girl Scouts – and seemingly every female legislator stood – to give the daily motion to adjourn.
I snicker with glee and delight every time I read this. I love the image of the Speaker of the House chomping down on Girl Scout cookies and offering them to his colleagues as they went about House business. In a time when it seems as if all Republicans are acting like fools, it’s refreshing to have one clearly push back at his idiotic brethren.
I keep picturing the look on Rep. Morris’s face as all this unfolded before him, and I snicker once again. Let’s face it – the one thing that will deter jackholes like Morris is public ridicule, and it has to sting twice as much since it comes from one of his own. So, kudos to Speaker Bosma for doing the right thing, no pun intended.
Now, for the bad news concerning the GSA in Virginia. Or rather, the infuriating news. In Chantilly, VA, several Girl Scouts troops have been banned from using a local church and neighboring school for their troop meetings because of a purported affiliation with…the dreaded Planned Parenthood. Yes, St. Timothy Catholic Church is taking its war against women to a new despicable low, with girls being the casualty. Hell, the local Girl Scouts can’t even wear their uniforms in the church or the neighboring school because, you know, the Girls Scouts uniform symbolizes slutty sex and abortions on demand for errrrryone. A spokesman for the Arlington diocese essentially passed the buck, saying it was up to the pastor to decide what was best for the church and his flock, as it were. Me, I fail to see how waging a vendetta against Planned Parenthood by proxy through the Girl Scouts is in anyone’s best interest, but I’m a fucking heathen, so what do I know?
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Contraception Crusade | ||||
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So, it’s come to this. Planned Parenthood has become such a monster to the rabid right, even the Girl Scouts of America are to be shunned because they have a tangential connection to PP. This is the hill Catholics want to die on? Contraception and Planned Parenthood. Really.
Fine. Let me just say, however, that I am just as ready to fight the Catholic Church to its death on this issue. The Church and other rightwingnutters believe that any money given to Planned Parenthood is in support of abortion because money is fungible? That works both ways, buckaroos. The Catholic Church is now clearly becoming political, to the point of banning the Girl Scouts from its church and schools because of the PP bogeyman! In addition, Catholic charities receive nearly two-thirds of their funding from me and you – the taxpayers. Talk about your welfare – the Catholics are living on the dole, indeed.
If the Catholic Church wishes to be pure and faithful to its ideology and not follow the laws of the land, then the bishops and cardinals and such need to have the courage of their convictions and give up their tax exempt status AND stop taking money from the federal government. They want to be their own papal fiefdom in America, then they can fund it them damn selves – not one more dime will I give them if they continue trying to pull us back into the 19th century.
In the meantime, please do what you can to support your local Girl Scouts of America. They don’t deserve this bullshit. Buy their cookies or donate directly to them here.
P.S. The video is of Stephen Colbert’s epic take-down of the Catholic stance against the healthcare mandate.
So people actually believe the lie that Girl Scouts is affliated with Planned Parenthood? This is pathetic. What’s wrong with these people!
Once again, as a former Girl Scout; I can tell you that now only has Morris lost his mind, but so has St. Timothy’s church.
I’m so buying cookies this year. I remember the days when I use to sell them. I also remember that the Girl Scouts taught me skills that I use today and had little to do with turning anybody into lesbians or satanists.
As Colbert himself demonstrates, Catholics themselves are ready to fight the Church to its death over this. If my parish ever pulled something like this, the pastor would have a whole neighborhood of irate moms to deal with. And irate moms are not fun to be around.
The main problem, of course, is that no matter how you want to twist things around and make them out to be harmless and innocent, the fact remains that Girl Scouts (and Brownies and Bluebirds and Camp Fire Girls) are gasp! female. And we all know what little females turn into, don’t we? Adult females! And when adult females gather, they uh, well, uh… Anyway, they’re scary and dangerous. Must be stopped at the larval stage.
“…stopped at the larval stage…”
Does this mean that if zygotes get “personhood” they will somehow manage to winnow out all the little females and put them in some kind of confinement as potentially dangerous subversives?
I wonder what the Catholic parents of Catholic Girl Scouts think about all this. And I wonder if the Church will excommunicate said parents and Girl Scouts.
They have definitely turned up the War on Women to ELEVENS111!!1!
The Catholic church is doing the peepee dance about their chickens coming home to roost over child sex abuse. All this BS is a smoke screen to distract people from trials of their male clergy. For them it is ever “Blame the women.”
Both you and ferrallike hit the point on the head – all of this is in lieu of them doing anything positive for the children (girls, too) who have been horribly abused by the priests of the Church.
As long as the Catholic Church doesn’t atone for its own very egregious sins of covering up priests raping altar boys – not only that, moving the priests from one parish to another KNOWING about the rapes – it has no moral authority at all. None.
At what point are they going to realize they’re out of touch?
The Catholic Church will adopt any umbrage they can conjure if they think it will get attention on something other than how many little boys they’ve let their priests molest. It seems they’ve decided to fuck over little girls as well. I’m so glad my father renounced Catholicism & would not let my grandmother make me a part of their perversity and insanity.
278 CASES of Girl Scout cookies? Unless he got some incredible bulk buy price, isn’t that, like nearly $12,000 worth of cookies?
278 cases at twelve boxes a case, at $3.50 a box…CRAP that’s a lot of money. Also a lot of cookies. I adore the bit about ‘offering them pointedly’, and ‘munching’ on them while the lege met.
I wonder if he meant boxes. And, what an odd number, yes? Either way, I love the visuals!
HEY! I’m from Fort Wayne, and we’re not all jackholes. There is, in fact, a quite substantial population who don’t have their heads implanted firmly in their own plots.