John Fleming (R-Idiot) fell for a nine-month-old hilarious article in The Onion which touted the grand-opening of an Abortionplex:
TOPEKA, KS—Planned Parenthood announced Tuesday the grand opening of its long-planned $8 billion Abortionplex, a sprawling abortion facility that will allow the organization to terminate unborn lives with an efficiency never before thought possible.
During a press conference, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards told reporters that the new state-of-the-art fetus-killing facility located in the nation’s heartland offers quick, easy, in-and-out abortions to all women, and represents a bold reinvention of the group’s long-standing mission and values.
“Although we’ve traditionally dedicated 97 percent of our resources to other important services such as contraception distribution, cancer screening, and STD testing, this new complex allows us to devote our full attention to what has always been our true passion: abortion,” said Richards, standing under a banner emblazoned with Planned Parenthood’s new slogan, “No Life Is Sacred.” “And since Congress voted to retain our federal funding, it’s going to be that much easier for us to maximize the number of tiny, beating hearts we stop every day.”
“The Abortionplex’s high-tech machinery is capable of terminating one pregnancy every three seconds,” Richards added. “That’s almost a million abortions every month. We’re so thrilled!”
These people are too stupid to be in charge of anything. Also, the fact that Fleming could read that article and think it true demonstrates that these nutbags actually think that liberals are pro-abortion; “pro” as in ”we love aborting shit.”
It’s absurd — and sad. But mostly, absurd.
[via The Atlantic]
[cross-posted at Balloon Juice]
Believe this happened before, with the ‘gay agenda’ Onion article. People were sending that one around in a fury for years. Right-wingers thought it was real, left-wingers thought it was a right-wing ‘hoax’–it never seemed to stop.
It reminds me of that dumb ass democrat who went to the house floor claiming Limbaugh wanted his mom to eat Dog food. Patsy SCHROEDER. Yeah, that was her. All because Limbaugh made a joke about it at GOPAC. The house floor….she gave a speech about it on the house floor because she so wanted to believe republicans actually wanted to starve old people. Pathetic.
Awesome.
Given The Onion’s long history on the Internet, one would think that by now anyone with a computer would immediately recognize that it’s a satire/humor site. Which goes to show that Republicans apparently don’t get satire, this congressman is too stupid to be in office (which is saying something), and his staff really needs to stop playing practical jokes on him.
Even funnier: he’s a physician.
He really believes that? I wish there was a way to hide my accent. This shit is embarrassing. I won’t be telling anyone where I’m from for a while. While we’re at it, let’s look into the Red Cross. They may be working on their Death Panels.
“Abortionplex” is my pro wrestling finishing move, by the way.
Wow, thanks for proving that study of conservatives being dumb fucks to be true.
And I dont blame him, I blame the people of Louisiana who elected this thudfuck
But then again, they put David “I fuck prostitutes while wearing a shitty diaper” Vitter back into the Senate, so, is it really shocking?
Stupid electorate leads directly to stupid elected people.
Want to fix elected officials? Fix the electorate that votes for them.
BUT DID YOU KNOW PLANNED PARENTHOOD IS OBAMA’S BIGGEST DONOR AND THEY OWN HIS CAMPAIGN!?!?!
I, for one, fully support Abortionplex.
Well, how else are we gonna get those fetuses for human consumption to Oklahoma?
I still want my fetus po boy