The one black Republican of 2011 to somehow dodge the “uppity n!ggger” charge by patriotic, Constitution-loving Teabaggers has “officially and enthusiastically” endorsed fellow philanderer Newt Gingrich for the presidency.
Herman Cain’s nod to Gingrich, announced in West Palm Beach, Fla., just days before the Sunshine State’s primary, could swing the momentum back toward the former House speaker, as it may effect the large swath of matrimonially disinclined conservative voters who remain unimpressed with Mitt Romney’s 42-year fidelity.
Speaking candidly about his experience with unsheathed beef whistles, Cain had this to say about Gingrich:
I know that Speaker Gingrich is running for president and going through this sausage grinder—I know what this sausage grinder is all about. I know he is going through this sausage grinder because he cares about the future of the United States of America.
Between his excessive reiterations about the “sausage grinder,” Cain managed to utter at least one coherent remark, which lambasted that dirty world of “politics” for creating the inhumane and unrealistic expectation that future leaders of the free world keep their dicks in their pants.
“What does something that happened 20 years ago relative to an ex-wife have to do with fixing America’s problems today?” he asked. “Nothing.”
The 1.1 percent of the vote that Cain garnered in the South Carolina primary very well may provide a boost for Gingrich in Florida, although probably not.
Nate Silver of the New York Times’ mathematically astute election forecasting blog described Cain’s endorsement in a less-than-flattering double-negative two-word observation—“not unhelpful”—which means, in political pollster speak, that it’s about as useful to Gingrich in Florida as Sarah Palin was to John McCain’s presidential bid in 2008.
Though the Cain endorsement may carry a hair less weight than a Rick Perry endorsement, it nonetheless says something about Gingrich’s competition when the only one of five drop-outs to endorse Mitt Romney was Romney’s own cousin, Jon Huntsman, whose “endorsement” was significantly lacking the “officially and enthusiastically” qualifiers that Cain provided to Gingrich.
That said, nobody can deny the instant jolt of excitement provided by seeing the Cain surname in headlines again. It reminds you of the good old days when the Republican presidential race was entertaining and intellectually offensive, as opposed to now, when it’s only the latter and none of the former.