Free AK-47 With Purchase! [Updated!]

WTF?!

 No, seriously — WTF!?

Do you happen to need an AK-47, as well as a company to process your credit card transactions?

If so, that would make today your lucky day, strangely enough.

MerchantService.com — a Sarasota-based company that provides the equipment and processing for credit-card transactions in businesses — announced its “Free AK-47 Giveaway” yesterday, offering an AK-47 worth up to $750 for new accounts based on how much credit-card processing volume businesses put through the company.

The company doesn’t exactly have a cache of AKs sitting in its stock room — it gives you a voucher to redeem instead — and while you don’t have to get an AK-47, they’d prefer you did.

“Keep in mind we are not simply handing out AK-47 assault rifles to anyone who opens an account with us,” the company says. “Instead, you will receive a voucher that can be used towards the purchase of a firearm at any reputable gun shop where you must go through the proper background checks and waiting period that the law requires. If you prefer, the voucher can also be redeemed for cash.”

Under the banner on its website that says “God, Guns & Guts” as part of the company’s “No Victims” campaign, the company is promoting its services to protect against robberies and such, and apparently assault rifles fit the bill:

One of the most important steps toward ensuring you and your businesses well being is deciding to not be a victim.

According to a survey conducted by Professors James D. Wright and Peter H. Rossi, 56% of the felons surveyed agreed that “A criminal is not going to mess around with a victim he knows is armed with a gun;”

With the all of violence and crime in the US there are many things merchants can do in order to protect themselves in the future.

WTF?!

Want another reason to make sure the GOP doesn’t take back the Senate and the White House? Then we can push Obama to reinstate the assault weapons ban which expired under Bush in 2004. I sure would have loved for President Obama to have done so last year, but I certainly understand not wanting to go up against the NRA — “clinging to guns and religion,” and all that.

Yikes.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, this happened — in Florida no less -on September 11:

Florida authorities are searching for at least two gunmen who shot up a nightclub in Palmetto early Saturday morning, leaving two people dead and another 22 wounded.
The gunmen opened fired on a crowd of people standing outside of Club Elite at about 12:30 a.m., according to a police report, MyFox Tampa Bay reports. Trayton Goff, 25, and Gwenette Matthews, 38, died. The other victims were taken to area hospitals.
Police said they believe the suspects used AK-47 assault rifles, according to the Bradenton Herald. About 70 to 80 rounds were fired in the shooting and police have recovered spent 7.62 x 39-mm. cartridge cases, leading police to believe at least one semi-automatic weapon was used.

Serenity now.

(H/T John Whitehouse aka @existentialfish! & @progressbigD87)