Ahem. Speaker Boehner? A word please, sir?

Um, Speaker Boehner? Sir? About that press conference of yours last night? I’d like to correct a few misstatements lies, if you don’t mind.

These are difficult times in the life of our nation. Millions are looking for work, have been for some time, and the spending binge going on in Washington is a big part of the reason why.

People aren’t struggling because of this mythical “spending binge” you talk about. They are struggling because YOUR party’s president crashed our economy a few years back, sir.

President Obama came to Congress in January and requested business as usual — yet another routine increase in the national debt limit — we in the House said ‘not so fast.’ Here was the president, asking for the largest debt increase in American history, on the heels of the largest spending binge in American history.

This debt ceiling increase is a direct result of spending that has already taken place, spending authorized by the House of Representative that YOU are the Speaker of, not from the Democrats alone going on a spending binge. Sir.

Here’s what we got for that spending binge: a massive health care bill that most Americans never asked for. A ‘stimulus’ bill that was more effective in producing material for late-night comedians than it was in producing jobs. And a national debt that has gotten so out of hand it has sparked a crisis without precedent in my lifetime or yours.

The Affordable Care Act, in fact, lowered the deficit, sir. It did NOT increase spending by the US government. Also, that ‘stimulus’ bill you refer to? That was over one-third tax cuts. That is in addition to your extorted extension of the Bush tax cuts. These two things were supposed to HELP the economy and CREATE JOBS. Millionaires, billionaires and skabillionaires have not received any tax increases. This, you told us, sir, would create jobs. Where, sir, if I may ask, are the jobs? Sir?

The United States cannot default on its debt obligations. The jobs and savings of too many Americans are at stake.

What we told the president in January was this: the American people will not accept an increase in the debt limit without significant spending cuts and reforms.

And the president responded. He offered you an unbelievably fair deal: massive cuts and tiny increase in taxes on the wealthiest Americans alive. Your answer, as I recall, was HELL NO!!! Sir.

The president has often said we need a ‘balanced’ approach — which in Washington means: we spend more. . .you pay more. Having run a small business, I know those tax increases will destroy jobs.

I’m sorry. Real quick here: “balance” in this sense, means a balance between cuts to the budget and added revenues from your corporate skabillionaire donors. A balance between cuts in things that help po’ folk and revenues from people whining that the tax loop hole for their corporate jets and other luxury items might go away. Look it up. Sir.

The president is adamant that we cannot make fundamental changes to our entitlement programs.

Just so we’re clear: it’s not only the president who is adamant about this. Most Americans feel this way, too. Sir.

The sad truth is that the president wanted a blank check six months ago, and he wants a blank check today. That is just not going to happen.

Actually, because you clearly have not been paying attention, the president has been very agreeable to making cuts. In fact, in terms of ‘blank checks’, you and your GOP buds in Congress wrote two big blank checks not all that many years ago. The first was the Bush tax cuts that blew a catastrophically huge hole in our nation’s budget. The other was the prescription coverage law that you and your friends passed but neglected to fund. Sir.

You know, I’ve always believed, the bigger government, the smaller the people. And right now, we have a government so big and so expensive it’s sapping the drive of our people and keeping our economy from running at full capacity.

Speaker Boehner, sir, would you mind explaining that to me? Because, honestly, when I talk to people looking for a job, they aren’t thinking, “Damn that national debt! If it weren’t for that, I could get a job!” No, actually what they are thinking is, “Damn, if only all those skabillionaires that have received massive tax cuts and continue to do so well while I’m losing my home would just quit piling up their money and actually hire some people, I could get a job!” Sir.

The solution to this crisis is not complicated: if you’re spending more money than you’re taking in, you need to spend less of it.

See, right there, that’s actually not what is going on here. This money is already spent. By you. And all the rest of the GOP that runs the House of Representatives. It’s YOU guys that cut the taxes on those gajillionaires that benefit most from the status quo. It’s YOU guys that passed an unfunded prescription medicine bill. It’s YOU guys that clamored for war in Iraq when there was no threat (and which benefited your military-industrial complex buddies so mightily.) Sir.

So, anyway, I’m glad we could have this talk. I’m sorry to interrupt your cocktail hour or round of golf or tanning session or whatever it is you were doing. It’s always nice when an ordinary citizen like me can correct a flaming hypocrite and liar like you.

Sir.

Cross-posted at Eclectablog.