I can’t stop laughing.
I’m sitting here watching The Daily Show, and the moment of zen clip features some assclown on Fox News1 stating that Michelle Obama was seen ordering a burger, fries, and a shake, and then likened the number of calories she ingested to eating a live raccoon.
::spittake::
I’ve been sitting here alternatively laughing and scratching my head — trying to understand how the hell one would know the number of calorie in eating a live raccoon.
What if the raccoon were grilled? Served tartare? Would one have to eat the entire raccoon, or just the prime cuts?
This is my problem, people. Sometimes I can’t just accept that people are batshit insane. I have to try and rationalize their batshit insanity, which, in turn, drives me batshit insane (or batshit insaner, if you must.)
I literally was in the bathroom washing my face and muttering to myself: How the fuck do they know how many calories are in a live raccoon? Who the hell eats a live raccoon (besides, like, Bear Grylls)? Why am I talking to myself?
Jesus H. Cheese and Crackers.
Flames. Flames… on the side of my face.
Seriously, though — a live raccoon!?
Fox News is ridiculous.
1 Apparently, said assclown is Greg Gutfeld. Gutfeld is Glenn Beck 2.0, and the new host of “Take Five” or whatever the hell it’s called. I don’t know. I don’t care. See? This is me not caring.
[via Media Matters for America]
[cross-posted at Balloon Juice]
Does he also know they come in different sizes?
I think it was just in order for him to be able to say something ending on “coon” relative to a black person. In fact, given Fox’s well-established patters of somewhat veiled baiting, it was the very first thing that occurred to me.
Yes, I automatically presume the very worst about anything and anyone relative to Fox News. There are a lot fewer surprises that way.
Damn, I think you might just be right. I was wondering why they didn’t say possum, though that’s usually roadkill when eaten. But that’s the dig at holler folk. So for FLOTUS… ya, raccoon. srsly, that’s going way far to blow that whistle and get a racist to laugh.
I was wondering if they count the hair or is he at least weighing it after being skint. alive.
that s was funny…loool, yes , its was a “racist” joke but still funny, zen clip keep going!
I came across your blog after I watched the daily show and had to check if anyone else was amazed at the ridiculousness of it.
And I also agree with the guy with the pony tail.
Hah! Thanks for posting this! But what I think is even funnier than the raccoon jab, was this gem: “We’re demonizing a great industry. The fast food industry does more to feed people than any government. If McDonalds was in charge of ending starvation in Africa, it would have been done in a year.” — Seriously, how do these guys even get on TV?!!
That is so not fair. They don’t even offer up what style of preparation was used in order to calculate calories in that live raccoon. My kinfolk have eaten them baked, broiled, fried, and barbecued. I can assure you breaded raccoon is much more calorie heavy than poached raccoon.
Don’t judge my older family members. They’ve eaten everything from squirrel to woodchuck in the mountains of NY State when times got hard. They also don’t understand why I do not eat anything that did not come out of professionally manufactured packaging when I visit.
LOL!!! I come from a family with Depression era parents. We didn’t have a lot of money and there were nine of us children. We ate just about anything that didn’t eat us first!
I would just like to lighten the mood here with this:
http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/
When you’re depressed that a racist party of paranoid psychopaths has taken over one of our two political parties, sometimes all you can do to keep going is reflect on the wonderfulness of buying a 5 foot tall iron chicken…
Oh my gosh, I read this a couple of weeks ago. Then her server crashed. Absolutely hysterical, loved the knock, knock> caption.
Just drove by a house, and honest-to-goodness, there’s a 5ft metal chicken in the yard. No joke.
That chicken is the coolest thing! I totally want one. And no, I haven’t been drinking!
I’d like to compare Michelle’s live ‘coon calorie count (see what I did there, and want to bet that’s what he WANTED to do????) to Mike Huckabee’s fried squirrel calorie count.Nothing packs on the ponds like greasy squirrel.
Squirrel is not at all greasy. In fact the meat is a lot like rabbit –very lean.
Possum is greasy and disgusting.
Never tasted raccoon and now never will.
(Grew up on a farm in Missouri.)
I like squirrel even better than rabbit. My brothers used to hunt them with sling shots and bring them home for the family dinner.
“I think it was just in order for him to be able to say something ending on “coon” relative to a black person.”
My first, second, and third thought.
Are we sure Jane Hamsher isn’t already on the FoxNews payroll? They exhibit a remarkably congruent level of class.
Baby Jane could take over for Glenn Beck. I wonder if she can cry and draw on a chalk board at the same time?
I’m with you on the crazy part but I may do a little better at understanding it because I worked in mental health for 30 years before I retired. I’ve worked on psych units where a lot of these people belong!
I did get a laugh out of the live raccoon part, except anyone who knows anything about raccoons will tell you that they are mean little fuckers with claws and teeth. I wouldn’t want to try chomping on a live one!
Last, I will agree that this was another piece of their idea of ‘subtle racism.’ Ignorant goatheads. I can’t watch Fox but they are good for a laugh time to time.
YES, I just saw this on the Daily Show and was similarly wowed: I mean, no one knows how many calories are in any raccoon, live or cooked (find me a nutrition guide that has it). Fox – and it is Fox, not just Glen Assclown Gutless – spares nothing when aiming to smear the Obamas.
1500 calories is a lot, a burger and fries have an excessive amount of fat, and the point is that fast food is ultimately bad for you.
But you don’t say that on Fox, you don’t disparage the fast food industry.
You try your damndest to make the Obamas look like hick, irresponsible, uneducated trash by comparing their meal to eating a raccoon. As if she thought about it and said “it’s either this burger and fries, or chewing on that live raccoon. Hmmm… I think today, I’ll opt for the burger.”
Working for Fox must be a terrible job.
Is he…serious? I can’t…it doesn’t…WHAT IS GOING ON, MAN?!
It’s not just the live raccoon comment; it’s the ENTIRE thing. It’s either meant to be funny, or it’s the most ridiculous line of reasoning EVER FUCKING UTTERED.
By the way, I would be willing to bet that anyone who would dare try to eat a live raccoon would expend a fair amount of calories just trying to hold the fucker down while not losing an appendage. Cancels out something, you’d think.
Oh!!!! Fan-fuckin-tastic! Miss ya, girl! You are right on, as per yoosh….
ET! hey lady! :)
I heard this on the moment of zen too – and had to play it back for my wife. I really had to struggle with it even being used…i cant for the life of me see how anyone could take themselves this seriously. Raccoon. Come on. Sure – point out a bit of hypocrisy – but Ms Obama is right on with her comments on American obesity. One deserves a nice treat every now and then – and she needs to keep that “backstage.” And pointing out that Michelle Obama is eating a days worth of calories in a single meal is “somewhat newsworthy” – but still – a live raccoon?? Purely intended to associate her/and the president with something gross. I think from now on I will compare Laura Bush’s meals to the potential side effects of mixing that much meat with her Xanax.