I am a Mormon, and a Mormon just believes.
Suddenly, wherever you look, there they are.
In our movies. Our TV shows. On Broadway.
And competing for the honor of losing the 2012 election to Barack Obama.
Mitt gloving up for a hot fudge-packing session.
The people of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aka the Mormons.
As the wife of the LDS closet-case in Angels in America asked, “There’s something that’s always bothered me… the name of the angel was Moroni… so why don’t we call ourselves Morons?”
Excellent question, dear.
The reason you don’t call yourselves Morons is because everyone else does.
Thanks for asking!
Jon Huntsman relaxing at home with his family, in traditional Mormon garb.
So now the GOP has to wrestle with the angel Moroni, while America watches, and chuckles.
And waits to see how the Fundimentaliban struggles with the idea of not only soliciting the Mormon vote, but actually letting one head the ticket.
Not one, but two honest-to-God-who-lives-on-the-planet-Kolob Mormons are in the hunt for the Republican nomination. Too bad that in last nights “debate”, CNN’s microcephalic* GOP knob-gobbler John King failed to ask Mitt Romney the “this or that” question that’s on everyone’s mind:
“Boxers, briefs, or magic underpants?”
::big sigh::
I suppose I could write one of my usual tl;dr posts detailing the fascinating history of the Mormon faith and its founder, Joseph Smith, the L. Ron Hubbard of his day. But you know what? I don’t give enough of a damn to bother chronicling their asshattery. Instead, I’ll leave you with this question:
What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?
Apparently, about 150 years.
* h/t to our esteemed commenter That Guy With The Ponytail
Can we, at least, begin referring to Willard Romney as Willard Romney? “Mitt” sounds (calculatedly) “folksy”, and while Romney is calculated, the one thing he most assuredly is not is folksy. Unless, of course, you’re the sort of “folks” who are billionaire investment bankers who delight in closing American workplaces and sending the jobs they used to provide offshore.
Willard. Willard. Fucking Willard, already.
Or about three generations. Hateful cult to weirdo to “oh, they didn’t ruin the country, so I guess they’re harmless if a bit strange.” So our grandchildren will look at the Hubbardites and shrug but not really get into it barring any serious investigations into their real backstory.
His name is Willard? Really? Wasn’t that a funny character in Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman or something? Or a movie rat? I will happily call him Willard as often as I can. Where did Mitt come from? Of course if you call him Willard, you lose the whole “Mittens” thing. It’s a toss-up.
Mary, Willard is the name of that movie that was a sequel to Ben, Michael Jackson made the song popular also. Gee a movie about RATS,is God in his mysterious way trying to tell us that Mitt is really a rat?
The difference between a cult and religion is the number of followers.
I call him Mittens..I think Tengrain coined that word for Romney. I think it fits and our dear host here has a photo of the asshat putting on a pair of them..or what-the-hell-ever it is he is shoving his hand into.
I don’t care if the next President is from the planet Crouton. I just want someone to give a shit about the 98% of us that don’t get huge tax breaks and the millions of us that are out of work or under-employed.
That person surely won’t come from The Party of No, of which Mittens is a member in good standing.
I read the title “Embracing Our Inner Mormon “, seriously as “Embracing Morons” and instantly though “eww ick no. Who’d really want to embrace Mitt or the other odd dude?”
Mormon/Moron….need a microscope to tell the difference, I imagine.
Yup, I saw “Embracing our Inner Moron”.
Watched the Mormon song earlier today. Good stuff.
Have you seen the opening number of the Tony Awards, Allan? It’s brilliant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6S5caRGpK4&feature=player_embedded
Thank you for that link, Starshine – enjoyed it thoroughly! Even if I’m unfamiliar with the shows, the Tony broadcast is always so entertaining.
Hey, g! Neil Patrick Harris is fabulous. I must confess I’ve watched the video several times. :)
Broadway performers are the marathon runners of actors. They are disciplined athletes who deliver virtually flawless performances at an incredible level of energy and focus for three hours at a crack, eight times a week. Even when their character is offstage, they’re ripping off one costume and putting on another, racing to make an entrance from the opposite side of the stage, etc. I’m constantly in awe of what they can do.
They also seem so much less vain and petty than than counterparts in other media.
Please, please, please read Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer. Then give it to your friends. Mormons. Pretty scary.
better to hide that underwear picture.whoever put it together did a lousy sewing job. and really,that codpiece is greatly exagerated.