No Mas. I Have Reached Peak Sarah Palin, and I Surrender

Back in the last days of the presidential election of aught-eight, John Cole, the proprietor of Balloon Juice, penned a post proposing that we were nearing the end of Peak Wingnut because surely the right would simmah down naow once Obama was elected.  Surely.  He opined:

As I look around the blogosphere, (sic) and view memorandum, it occurred to me that we may have hit and passed Peak Wingnut. Don’t get me wrong, this election is still not over and is by no means in the bag, but as I read things, the hey day (sic) of modern wingnuttia may have passed.

Sure, there is still lots going on – the Obama smears have been fast and furious, and there are lots of current attempts to mainstream nonsense…but it all seems so yesterday. These days, there seem to be more than enough outlets to rebut the bullshit, the media is tired of being treated like morons, and the Democrats for once seem ready and itching for a fight….

…(but) it really does feel like we’ve reached and surpassed Peak Wingnut.

How long did Cole’s theory of Peak Wingnut last? Not even for the duration of the life of that post. He added an update:

Ignore all my questions from above – wingnut is a renewable resource. Peak Wingnut was the shortest lived (sic) “theory” ever.

This was before I even started reading Balloon Juice. The only reason I know about it is because it became an inside joke among Balloon Juice readers. “Have we reached Peak Wingnut yet?” Invariably, someone would ask, “Huh?”, and a link to the aforementioned post would be given as a response. Cole was so sweet and naïve back then!

To the blog’s credit, Tim F wrote a post the very same day (indeed, it’s the very next post) that thoroughly dismantled the idea that we had reached Peak Wingnut.  He rightly predicted the schisms in the left as well as how nutty the right would get.  In fact, he looks goddamn prescient right about now (the funk soul brother.  Sorry.  Those two phrases are inextricably linked in my mind) with all his, “the right hasn’t begun to wingnut yet; the left will fracture” keening.  He was a goddamn Cassandra of his time, and has he been thanked for it?  NO!

But, per usual, I digress.

This post has nothing to do with peak wingnut theory or wingnuts in general.  I was just using that as background because I’m using peak ___ theory, and it makes no sense without the aforementioned explanation.  I’ve hit Peak Sarah Palin, and I surrender.

Back when she was nominated, I had no idea of who she was except she was on Craig Ferguson’s TV show granting him citizenship of Alaska or some such nonsense. I was surprised at her pick, but I thought, “Hey, a woman? That’s kinda cool.” Then, I Googled her and was a bit concerned–oh hell.  Fuck. I can’t even be polite about any of this.

WARNING:  I’m about to go off the rails, and it’s gonna be ugly.  You’ve been warned.

I cringed when I first looked her up, and I cringed even more when I saw her first speech at the Republican convention (in MY fucking state, thank you very much.).  This woman was picked because she gave some prominent conservatives starbursts and because she was supposed to be a perk to the Democratic women who were disappointed that Hillary Clinton wasn’t the Democratic nominee.  Yes, that’s the way the Republicans operate–lookeeeee, Hillary Clinton is a female, so we’ll pick a female and that will win over the Democratic women to our side!  They both have ladybits.  That’s all that matters, right?  Golly, you betcha.  Also.  Too.

Seriously, Republicans?  This was your answer to Hillary Clinton?  A two-bit, no-name, idiotic grifter with no there there?   And, the liberal guys who find her attractive?  What the fuck is up with that?   I read all the time about how hawt she is and how yeah, she’s dumb/crazy/amoral/a Republican, but I’d do her, anyway, and I just don’t get it.  I really don’t.  I mean, I can get dumb, but attractive, but I don’t get venal, crazy, vindictive, and mean.  I have reached the point where I can’t listen to her voice any more because it makes me want to rip out my ear canals and eat them with a dash of pepper just so I never, ever have to hear that voice.  That AWFUL voice.  It’s not even that she can’t put a simple sentence together, although that doesn’t help.  It’s that her voice is full of emptiness, and that emptiness invades my being every time she opens her mouth and speaks.

I will be totally honest here.  I hate reality shows with a passion.  To me, if you want to call a show Survivor, you drop ten people on an island and the last one living is the winner.  Anything else is just fucking around. I wrote a post awhile ago about my addiction to a certain cable show, and in it, I count the many ways in which I loathe pop culture.  I mention the fact that I know Snooki (thanks, Balloon Juice.  No, no, really.  I don’t know how I could have managed to soldier if I hadn’t learn about the spectacle that is Snooki) despite the fact that I never have seen whatever show it is she used to be on.  Something about New Jersey.  And, she’s a NYT bestseller.  That alone made me want to quit writing.

What does this have to do with Sarah Palin?  This.  Sarah Palin is not a politician; she is a glorified reality star.  Yes, she was an actual governor of an actual state (a job she quit, remember), and yes, she was the VP nominee of the senile senator from Arizona, John McCain.

Note:  I’ve been writing this over the last several days.  The combination of the constant Weiner roast and all-consuming Palin fap, I had lost my will to live to blog. Therefore, lots has happened, including some dump Palin took*, but I’m not going to address that. I’m just going to continue with my original post, but I’m going to take it in a slightly different direction without a segue.  Because I can.

Here’s the bottom line.  In a sane world, Snowbilly Snooki** would be just a footnote on history by now.  I wouldn’t have to hear anything about her or read her stupid shit because she’d be irrelevant.  It’s clear she’s not actually going to run, and she can’t speak a coherent sentence to save her life.  Whether she’s incurious and ignorant or truly stupid, I’m not sure–nor do I care.  It just bothers me to the core that someone like her can command the attention she does and get paid handsomely to spew her hateful and ignorant bullshit.   And, yes, I am fully cognizant that anything I write about her matters not a whit, that I’m just spitting in the wind.  I also know the argument that because I’m giving her ink, I’m contributing to the Palin problem.   But, sometimes, I have to vent.  It makes me feel better, and then I can move on (or not.  I tend to stew.  It’s the OCD in me.  And, she really really really bugs me) to actual political news.

Here’s the thing. I’ve reached Peak Palin. I used to get pissed off every time she was mentioned or some non-news about her was reported. I’d fume over every tweet the twit twatted and rail about how a nonentity like her should just go the fuck away. I’d steadfastly refuse to listen to any of her videos because I HATE her voice (in case I didn’t mention it before), and I would think darkly of the many ways she could mysteriously disappear.

No more. I’ve realized that her being famous and treated as a credible possibility for the Republican nominee for president is who we are a country. We’re not better than that–we may never have been. Plus, the incessant exposure to her magical mystery bus tour has taken the starch right out of me.  Every time I see her, hear her or even hear of her, I felt my defiance seep out of me juuuuuuust a bit more.

She IS America–the worst part of America, yes, but America, nonetheless. The greedy, low-information, insular, ugly, venal, malicious, petty, ignorant, selfish part of America–the part we don’t like to acknowledge. We’re better than that, or so we like to think. And yet, we have one party that is bent on destroying our country, and our media is only too willing and fucking happy to help in this endeavor. We have a sizable portion of our society willing to cut its own throat so the undesirables of their minds get their due***. We’re living The Truman Show and what’s worse, many people don’t even give a shit.  So, no, on the whole, we are not better than Sarah Palin.

While I still loathe Sarah Palin and everything she represents, my outrage has maxed out.   Don’t get me wrong.  If I never heard her name again, I would be subliminally happy.  However, I’ve accepted that she isn’t going anywhere any time soon, and I simply can’t get pissed off every time she says something stupid, inflammatory, or hateful because then I would be (even more) pissed off all the fucking time.    It’s not even a conscious choice.  I simply cannot muster up a full rant for her any longer.  The most I can do is pule a bit and whimper.   Even were you to poke me with my rusty pitchfork as you murmured, “Sarah Palin is coming to get you!”, the best I could do is flop around a bit in distress.

Sarah Palin has the survival instinct of a cockroach and the cunning of a very cunning thing.   I wave the white flag of surrender and accept that I will never escape the Palinatrix because as a political junkie, the media won’t let me.  You win, Palin.  For now.

*A dump of Palin’s emails, I know. It’s not as funny if I say it that way, is it?

**Love this nickname.  The only bonus to knowing who Palin is and who Snooki is.

***And about a zillion other real problems which we should be addressing.