Update: TNC reports that the picture Weiner sent to Cordova was unsolicited. If this is true, then fuck what I wrote earlier as one of my stipulations would therefore not be true. If Cordova did not want/ask for the pic, then Weiner needs to resign.
Warning: This whole freaking post is probably NSFW (as if you didn’t know that by reading the title!).
We’re on Day Whatever of WeinerGate–which, in my opinion, is little more than Weiner Bump, but hey, it’s salacious and titillating, so whatever. Much ink has been spilled, metaphorically, of course, as to the sad saga of the twittering weenie. For the one person who doesn’t know about what I speak, in a nutshell, Representative Anthony Weiner, one of the loudest progressive voices in the media, got caught with his pants literally down. Because it was reported by Andrew Breitbart, there was a tendency for liberals to pooh-pooh the whole tawdry episode and think it must have been faked. Except, Weiner wouldn’t say categorically that the picture was not of his covered groin. He said he didn’t send it, but he couldn’t be sure it wasn’t his unmentionables that were being mentioned.
Um, OK. I thought, maybe he took a picture of his crotch and had it on his hard drive and the part about him being hacked was true. I’m hazy enough about the way computers work that this sounded believable to me. What didn’t make sense to me was a smart, Twitter-savvy guy like Anthony Weiner making such a colossally-stupid mistake as to send a pic of his dick to a chick, hoping to get his kicks and maybe a lick. I’ve seen Weiner on TV, and he’s a bright guy. No way he would make a rookie mistake like that, right?
Wrong. After ten days of obfuscating and wavering and making matters worse, Weiner gave a presser and admitted that he’d done the dirty deed. He’d sent dick picks to the chick–and to others. Predictably, pandemonium broke out in the political world. I avoided blogs and Twitter for a few days because Weiner’s weenie was the headline EVERYWHERE. It didn’t help that his name was so apt for the occasion or that he’d been hounding Clarence Thomas about financial disclosure, a man who does not take well to being hounded.
If you want a serious, thoughtful discussion on the merits of an investigation into the Weiner Bump, here’s a link to Ta-nehisi Coates (who, by the way, was named as one of TIME’s best blogs of the year, well-deserved, in my opinion) and the Horde (who also get a shout-out in the TIME‘s nod.). They examine the issue from several different angles, and they are mostly restrained in their tone. Or, if you want to know more about an important piece of news that has been all-but-buried by the Weiner Bump, look no further than to this incisive and detailed report by my esteemed coblogger, Allan. Allan got many accolades for this post, and rightly so.
UPDATE: I just read this blog post by Dave von Ebers at his website, davescornertavern.com, that goes into more detail about the Clarence Thomas angle of this whole sad spectacle. You should read it, too.
BIG HINT: CLARENCE THOMAS!
This is neither a thoughtful discourse on the Weiner Bump nor an overview as to the bigger picture. Again, if that’s what you want, go to the three links above. This is me getting shouty and ranty and waving my rusted pitchfork in the air.
I’m fucking pissed about this whole bullshit. Let me make myself very clear, if all the women were of-age and the communications were consensual and if Weiner didn’t do it on company time, then I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck. I don’t care if he sent crotch shots to women all over the world (tame ones, by the way. And, pssst. Guys. Women do not want random cock shots being sent to them. Trust me on this. Do not send a pic of your manhood unless you know specifically that it’s desired. I’m not joking. Just quit it) flaunting his manhood willy and nilly. That shit is between him and his wife. He didn’t run on ‘family values’ and he isn’t trying to get laws passed that are anti-queer or anti-women, so I don’t fucking care because he didn’t break any law.
Why am I furious then? Oh, let me fucking count the ways. One, he just gave Andrew Breitbart legitimacy. Seriously. Breitbart of doctored video fame that got an innocent woman fired. Breitbart of pimp James O’Keefe fame. Breitbart who is now even-a-stopped-clock-is-right-twice-a-day about one damn fucking thing.
Note: Well, that didn’t take long. As I was writing the above part of this post yesterday, I received an email from my coblogger, Allan, letting me know of the latest details of the whole ugly saga. And, what a coinky-dink, it has Andrew Breitbart’s fingerprints smeared all over it. So, this is actually two posts mashed in one because i still have shit to say–oh, yes, I do. I’m not going to be talking about the latest reveal, and I do mean reveal, but it has to do with Breitbart storing pics of a naked weiner (lowercase, allegedly of the Weiner) on his cellphone and passing them around like they were candy. You can read more about it at The Reid Report. She does an excellent job at summing up the latest hoo-ha about the matter.
I spent much of yesterday fuming over the latest info on the case. Not because it involved pictures of a naked weiner, purportedly given to Breitbart by his source, and by the way, class act, Breitbart. Make a deal with Weiner to spare him (Weiner) having shots of naked penis (supposedly), and then allow the pics to be leaked, anyway. My fumination*** has nothing to do with the newest evidence because it really didn’t change my viewpoint any. As long as the women were of legal age and as long as the communication was consensual, Weiner broke no laws. And, despite all the mewling about how immoral all of this is (which I believe is between Weiner and his wife. Maybe they have an agreement that as long as he kept his relationships online, she would look the other way. If they didn’t, she is the one he betrayed, and she is the one who will have to decide if she wants to stay with him or not. That is none of my business), it’s pretty fucking tame in terms of actual sexual misconduct.
So, no. The naked weiner is not why I fumed. I fumed because of the side circus this has all become. Again, this is not a thoughtful discussion of my points, but a rant. I’m going to start with my initial fumination and then continue with yesterday’s big reveal.
I’m mad at Weiner for his sheer stupidity in the matter and for letting his lust/hubris overtake his common sense. Yeah, I know, powerful men think they are invincible, yadda yadda yadda, but dude is techno-savvy. Seriously. You couldn’t set up a private email account to do this shit? And, dude, you’re one of the leading progressive voices out there. When you started going after Clarence Thomas, you had to know that you would be closely watched. You couldn’t wait a few months before sending MORE crotch shots to your young ladies? That’s bad impulse control, jackass.
Do we all do stupid things in the name of lust/sex/libido. Yes. We do. But, most of us do not work in the public eye, so our escapades are not national news. When you are a United States Representative, one who regularly shows his mug on the national teevee machine, you don’t have the privilege of anonymity, or even the illusion of it. Is it fair? No. But it’s reality. Especially in the days of the intertoobz and 24/7 news, there is very little wiggle room. If you are going to be a public servant, you have to realize this and adjust your behavior accordingly. If you cannot, then shit like this is going to happen.
The second reason I’m pissed at Weiner is because he lied about it. Again, most of us have lied about sexual matters, and it’s an understandable that his first impulse was to deny, deny, deny. But, again, dude. Either lie with conviction (which he couldn’t because he knew the pics were out there) or confess immediately, take the hit, and move the fuck on. There still would have been a three-ring media circus for a few days following the confession, but it wouldn’t have consumed nearly as much time, resources, or energy as Weiner’s slow white Bronco ride down the highway has.
Selfishly, I’m fucking sick and tired of hearing about Weiner’s weiner. I liked the guy before all this, thought he was cute and funny and smart, and I was proud to have him go to bat for liberals on the national Teevee machines. Dude coulda been a contendah, and he’s throwing all that away. And, he’s making me have to learn WAY MORE ABOUT HIM THAN I EVER WANTED TO KNOW. Really? This is front-page news every day for the past seems like a million years? No, it fucking isn’t.
Which leads me to my anger at the media. Why the fuck can’t you pay this much attention to, oh, say the governor of Indiana violating federal rules by de-funding Planned Parenthood? Or detail how many states are trying to make it impossible for Democrats to vote? Stalled nominations? Playing hostage with the debt ceiling? Bueller, Bueller, anyone, anyone? These are actual political stories that have a real impact on people. This Weiner thing? Yeah, I can understand some coverage, but not this 24/7 bullshit. I know I’m beating a drum song to the converted, but I truly despair at how irrelevant and, quite frankly, deeply stupid our mainstream media is. I believe that a functioning government has to have a media that reports accurately and holds them accountable for their political deeds. In other words, we’re fucked.
Finally, I’m pissed at Breitbart, and this includes his shenanigans from yesterday. It also ties in with my anger at the media. This man did a hit job on Shirley Sherrod and got her fired from her job. She was later rehired, but the damage to her reputation was done. In fact, she is suing him for said hit job, and I hope she makes him cry in court. This man groomed the creep, James O’Keefe, who, by all rights, should be sitting in jail cooling his heels, not being allowed to call himself a nonprofit after all the bullshit he’s done–including a hit job on ACORN. The now defunct ACORN.
So, I make no apologies for dismissing the latest story when I heard that Breitbart’s name was associated with it. To me, he has no credibility, and it’s up to him to prove his allegations true. Actually, that’s how it should be in all cases, but I digress. He was right in this case. Weiner has had several online relationships with women that include him sending them pics of his crotch (again, guys, just–don’t) and whatever. What Breitbart did yesterday, however, put him back in the realm of , “You fucking suck and should DIAF.” He’s going around saying, “Oh noez! How could that happen? I only showed the pictures on my fucking cellphone to everybody who wanted to see them, and to some who didn’t as well! I only left the cellphone in plain sight with the pictures showing as I wandered about doing whatever the fuck it is I do when I’m not destroying people’s life for my amusement. I only went onto a show with two shockjocks notorious for their juvenile pranks to talk about the pictures while waving them around. I never expected that someone would leak the photos!”
Bull. Fucking. Shit.
Breitbart knew exactly what he was doing, and he did it in this way so that he didn’t have to take responsibility for the ultimate reveal–knowing the media would be all-too-willing to do his dirty work for him. I am not a lawyer. I do not play one on TV. But if there is any way Weiner can sue Breitbart for allowing those pics to be leaked, and if Weiner has the stomach to do it, he should. Breitbart is a bully who revels in picking on people. The only way to stop a bully is to hit back. Often. Hard. Repeatedly.
I know a lot of fun has been had with this story. Indeed, I am guilty of some of said fun in this very post. But, in the end, we all lose when the focus of attention is on Anthony’s weiner and not on the bullshit that is hurting our economy, our people, and our nation. And that pisses me off the most of all.
*Unless some new evidence rears its ugly head. Damn him. Everything related to this sordid tale sounds sexual, whether I mean it that way or not**.
**And, of course, since it’s me, I usually mean it.
***I make up words when I’m mad.