No Country for Grumpy Old Men

Fuck Senator John McCain with a rusty pitchfork dipped twice in HCL.  Fuck him right in his grumpy visage.  Fuck him as he’s rolling his eyes disdainfully when one of his colleagues or the president is speaking.  Fuck him as he stabs vets in the back yet again, this time by vetoing a bill that would have granted money to help suicidal vets find the resources they need.

Representative Holt (D-NJ), the sponsor of the bill (and it passed the House) said that McCain told him that he (McCain) did not support it.  According to Holt, it was a preemptive strike by the Senate that made the House strip it from the National Defense Authorization Act.

In talking about the 9/11 first responders healthcare bill, McCain called it “fooling around” to deal with the bill when there was important business to be discussed–tax cuts for the wealthy, bitchez!  That’s all that matters. And, of course, there is the fact that he opposed the DADT repeal bill.  That in and itself would not be so remarkable–a Republican opposing repeal of DADT?  How surprising!–if it weren’t for a few things. Three years ago, he said he would support repeal if the military supported it.  When it turned out that, hey, they did, he started shifting.

The Joint Chiefs Chairman, Mike Mullen, and the Defense Secretary, Henry Gates, both supported the repeal.  That wasn’t good enough for Grumpy McCain*, and he had his spokeswoman do some mighty fine tap-dancing to explain why he still didn’t support the repeal.  One opinion, not enough!  He needed to hear from Colin Powell, to know what a real man (my spin on it) felt about the repeal.  Well, Colin Powell weighed in for repeal.  That should be enough for McCain, right?  Well, no.  Then, he declared that he needed a study to be done on how the repeal would affect the military.  So, there was a study by the Pentagon.  And it was good.  The reports before the study were released indicated that most people in the military were OK with teh gayz openly serving in the military.   Another part of the study indicated that it would be OK to repeal DADT during wartime.

Well!  That’s that, right?  I mean, the military is OK with it according to both the military brass and the study of the military members themselves.  That should be enough even for Grumpy ol’ McCain, right?  Yeah, you’re smarter than to believe that by now.  What now, McCain?  Well, apparently the Pentagon study didn’t study what he actually wanted them to study, so they needed to do a different study because, well, shut up, that’s why!  Sadly for him, the military brass looked at him and said, “Dude, you’re fucked up.  The study, it is good.”  I am paraphrasing of course, but that’s the main gist.

Some of his supporters said he was only doing it because he was in the midst of a heated reelection race.  The real McCain would return after the election!  Yeah, and how did that work out for them?  After he was reelected (what the hell is wrong with you people in Arizona?  Why do you keep electing this jackass to the Senate?), did McCain suddenly become an advocate for DADT repeal?  Well, no.  In fact, he doubled-down, going on the offensive–and I do mean offensive. Finally, the day we were waiting for.  The actual Pentagon study was released.  Yet, McCain continued to insist it didn’t matter because it didn’t go to each and every person in the military and ask how s/he personally felt about repealing DADT.  In addition, when criticized that he was brushing off the recommendations of Gates and Mullen, McCain said, “Bitch, I listen to the guys who actually command the soldiers, duh–not the fat-cat guys who sit in Washington with their thumbs up their asses!  It’s not like our military is under control of civilians or some stupid asshattery like that!”  Again, I am paraphrasing, but not by much.   He said a lot of stupid and offensive shit, in part because he is not a smart man, but this line is the one that really galls:

In all due respect, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs is not directly in charge of the troops.  The Secretary of Defense is a political appointee who has never been in the military.  And the president, obviously, has had no background or experience in the military whatsoever.

Now, all of this is pure bullshit, and John McCain knows it.  Or, he should know it because he’s been in the fucking military all his damn fucking life and touts it as one of his major accomplishments.  But, in case he was sleeping his way through class (which is entirely possible as he was only admitted to the Naval Academy because both his father and grandfather were four-star generals, and he (Grumpy McCain) graduated 894 out of 899.  He also specialized in crashing planes and chasing the lay-dees, so it’s understandable if he doesn’t understand that the military is under fucking civilian command),  the president is the fucking Commander in Chief, which means he’s in charge of the entire fucking military.**  The military prides itself on the chain of command and all that shit, so if the fucking Commander in Chief orders them to do something, they fucking do it!  It’s the way it works.

Gah.  I’m giving myself apoplexy just thinking about this asshole.   OK.  Breathe.  McCain is not worth giving myself a heart attack.   A little Jon Stewart to take the edge off.

McCain, sinking lower with each passing day.  He couldn’t possibly get worse, could he?  Au contraire, mon frere et ma soeur (with appropriate accents).  McCain could have just STFU and voted against the bill.  If he truly believes that DADT repeal would be the undoing of our country, then fine.  Vote your damn conscience.  But, for the love of everything that is holy, pure, and right, why the fuck did he have to be such a goddamn ass about it?  He threatened to block the fucking National Defense Authorization Act if DADT repeal was included it.  His excuse?  The economy sucks, bitchez.***   And, we need more studies!  More hearings!  More, more, more!  Even though the Joint Chiefs of Staff said they would implement the repeal if directed to do so by Congress, that was not enough for Grumpy McCain.

While the bill was being debated on the floor of the Senate on Saturday, McCain did not engage in the usual convivial geniality the Senate usually displays.  No, “If the gentleman from Connecticut would kindly refrain from interrupting” from McCain, no sir.  He was more like, “Bitch, please.  I will cut you if you don’t shut the fuck up.”  What he actually said was more along the lines of that repealing DADT most likely will:

harm the battle effectiveness which is so vital to the survival of our young men and women in the military.

Listen up, asshole.  As the marvelous Barney Frank said, this isn’t about allowing queers to serve in the military.  Newsflash–they are already there.  What’s more, many of their colleagues know they are gay and don’t give a fuck.  And, by the way, McCain, if you are going to trot out the military members in order to push forward your agenda, the least you can fucking do is support more money for them.  But, no.  Actually giving money and resources to help the military?  That’s SO GAY!

You know what else he said during the debate?  Well, I’m going to tell you.  Why?  Because if I have to suffer, then so do you.  I have read the snippets, but I have not watch the video until now because he makes me livid.  Here is the link to said video so you can follow along.  I will live-blog (kinda) as I watch.  Here we go.

He’s talking in that whiny, petulant voice he’s adopted lately.  It’s a toss-up which voice irritates me more–his or Sarah Palin’s.  Well, no, it’s Palin, hands down, but McCain’s voice really gets on my nerve for a much different reason.  ”My friends”, my ass.  I am not your friend, asshole.  My friends don’t shiv me in the back like that while grimacing in a vain attempt to craft a smile all the while.   Blah, blah, blah, election six-weeks ago.  ”The other side” is ignoring the will of the people, according to McCain.  The same people who have voted overwhelmingly that they could not give less of a fuck about queer soldiers serving openly in the military (nearly 80% said, hell, yeah, let them serve!).  ”Oh noez! Teh gayz are a distraction that will allow more limbs to be lost!”  That doesn’t even make any sense!  Some highly-trained Marine is going to freak out because one of his colleagues is gay, so he’s going to get his leg shot off?  What the fuck?

Fuck him!  Elite schools?  Liberal bastions?  What, no liberals serve in the military?  Only rural stupid people do?  Is that what you’re fucking saying?  We will celebrate in the salons of Georgetown?  I don’t even know what the fuck that means.  Unless he’s talking about hair salons!****  Actual quote:

…and all over America, there’ll be gold stars put up in windows, in the rural towns and communities all over America that don’t partake in the elite schools that bar military recruiters from campus, that don’t partake in the salons of Georgetown and the other liberal bastions here around the country, but there will be additional sacrifices.

Gee, you mean like the sacrifices made by queer soldiers who have to hide who they are for fear of being kicked out of their job?  Or, don’t the queer soldiers count in your book, Senator McCain?  Another quote:

…and there will be high fives all over the liberal bastions of America.  And we’ll see the talk shows tomorrow, a bunch of people talking about how great it is.  Most of them have never served in the military or maybe not even known someone in the military.

Fuck.  OK.  I’m taking an O Holy Night break so I don’t completely lose my will to live.  Slow, steady breath, and we’re back.

You know, McCain, if you could not be more proud of the military–the straights, I get it, not the icky queers–then pass some damn bills to help the vets, fucker.  Personal anecdote that is supposed to be touching.  ”Unit cohesion is what makes us succeed.”  Unit cohesion meaning that certain people need keep their mouths shut or the delicate constitutions of the straight soldiers will crumble.  That’s not flattering to our military, McCain!  Literally does not mean what you think it means, McCain.  He ends by making the quote about harming the battle effectiveness above.  You know what else harms battle effectiveness?  Shoddy equipment!  What about that, McCain?

People in the blogosphere are baffled as to how batshitcrazy he got over the repeal of DADT.  I think he actually thought it would never get repealed, so he felt safe to say, “I would be for repeal if only x, y, and z”.  Well, “if only” came, and McCain couldn’t accept it.   His only choice was to keep moving the goal posts because he couldn’t very well say that he was a homophobic old fuck who got the vapors over the ideas of queers serving in the military, now could he?  So, the vitriol he displayed while tilting at windmills is indicative to me of his real feelings towards queers in the military.  And, his posturing was because he couldn’t flat out say he thought teh gayz were icky.

McCain said before the vote, “Today is a very sad day.”  Yes, it is.  For him.  You want to know why?  Because he lost–again.  In the last few months (well, all his life, really, but especially in the last few months), he has shown us who he has really been all along–a bitter, entitled, angry loser who has gotten as far in life as he has because of his four-star Admiral father and four-star Admiral grandfather and because he dumped his first wife after she was in a horrible car accident so he could marry a rich heiress.  McCain were born into privilege and then married into even more privilege; without them, he  would have spent all his life toiling away in lower-middle management, making life hell for his employees because he’s a petty, juvenile, angry, mean old man.

And, the really sad part is that despite all his abundant privilege, McCain still is a loser.  He called his wife a trollop (and worse) in public.  He’s been nasty to his colleagues throughout his career.  He’s a bully who throws tantrums to get what he wants–much like a child.  And, what did he want more than anything?  He wanted to be president.  Hell, he thought he deserved to be president.  It was his, damn it.  After he lost to W. in 2000, he was just biding his time until W.’s regime ended.  I could tell as I watched him during the 2008 campaign that he felt the presidency was his, and how dare that upstart, Obama try to take it away from him?  That is privilege in its barest form–the job was his.  Obama was taking it away.  Rage!  This is why McCain chose Palin (and I will never forgive him for unleashing her upon the country).  This is why he rolled his eyes during the debates and could barely look Obama in the eye.  This is why he called Obama, “THAT ONE”, and this is why he completely shed his integrity near the end of the campaign by hiring Karl Rove, the man who allegedly orchestrated the smear of his adopted daughter for W. during the 2000 campaign.

John McCain was going to lose, and he wouldn’t have a chance to try again.  2008 was his best shot at becoming president, and he lost.

When he lost, he gave a gracious concession speech.  I thought he was going to do the right thing, swallow his disappointment and pride, and try to at least look like he was willing to work with President Obama.  I was wrong.  He quickly reversed to his asshole nature.  It was clear that he was bitter about losing the presidency.  Once, during the healthcare reform debate when President Obama reminded him that the presidential campaign was over, McCain retorted, rictus grin on his face, “I am reminded of that every day.”

There has been endless speculation as to what’s happened to McCain.  Is it dementia?  Is it bitterness?  Is he just letting his true nature shine through?  Yutsano, a commenter at BJ, said this:

Just remember this when talking about Grandpa Walnuts:  no matter what he does he’ll never know actual happiness.  I think it’s the real source of his bitterness.

I think that pretty much gets to the heart of the matter.  McCain has not known happiness because he’s never achieved what he felt was his birthright–the presidency.  He knows that he’s fallen far short of what he was expected to do–indeed, he has to be keenly aware of how little he has actually done in relation to how much he’s been given.  He’s a mediocre man performing a mediocre job.  He’ll never reach the level of greatness to which he aspires, and that has to eat away at him every day of his miserable life.  At best, he’ll be known as the man who ran for president twice and lost as well as the man who fought tooth-and-nail against equality for queers.  At worst?  He’ll be relegated to the dumpsters of history and dismissed as simply irrelevant.  I think he would hate that the most, and it’s a fitting epitaph for such a small and petty man.

*I have a rule of calling politicians by their names and only by their names.  Grumpy McCain is one exception–Ratface Pawlenty is the other.

**Grossly simplified, I know.

***Any swearing is added for emphasis by me.  Well, unless I’m quoting what McCain called his wife in public.

****Yes, I know what a salon is.  I just don’t see the relevance to what McCain is saying.