Attention Citizens! I Am a Finalist in the 2010 Black Weblog Awards!

I know, right?  The shit is bananas!

VOTING ENDS ON AUGUST 31!

Click this link to vote for me in THREE CATEGORIES (Best Humor, Best Writing, and Blog to Watch).

Do it.  Do it.  You know you wanna.  PLEASE?!?!  It won’t take but a minute.  And my dogg really wants me to win.  He just told me.

So, wow.  I actually made the finals!  I’m pretty excited.  I already peed in my pants once or twice today.  (That may have been unrelated to this exciting news, though.  One can never be sure.)

I feel like I should thank God, and my baby mama, and my pituitary tumor, and that pants on the ground guy, but let’s just dispense with all that.  I’m happy and humbled, and bumbled, and fumbled and so on and so forth etc. and whatnot.

So now what?  That’s what you want to know!

Here’s the deal.  You have to vote for me to WIN!  If you vote for me to win, then good fortune will fall on your head.  (That sounds a lot more violent than I intended it to sound.)

::ahem::

Also!  If you’re a person of little to no color, this could be your trump card!  If any one calls you racist, you can be like, “Nuh uh!  I voted for that crazy angry black lady to win some black internet award!  I’m not racist! You’re mom’s racist!”*** And that will be the end of that because when you accuse someone’s mom of being racist, then there’s really nothing left to say.  You have officially pwned a fool.

So click this link to vote for me. (Best Humor Blog, Best Writing, and Blog to Watch.)

And after you do, give yourself a high five.

Why?

Because you deserve it, that’s why.

[watch this video]

(And in case you’re wondering, some have claimed that I am both a turd sandwich AND a giant douche.  So there. I just blew your mind and alleviated your cognitive dissonance.)

***(tip o’ the hat to straight cakin’ son.  that was actual the first thing i typed.  it’s becoming a sickness. thanks, buddy!  also? you’re mom. —)

[Author's Note: The above video in no way expresses my feelings about voting and/or dying, generally, or any causal connection between voting for Angry Black Lady and/or dying.  The video is for entertainment purposes only.  To be clear: I will not kill you if you don't vote for me.  I repeat, I will not motherfuckin' kill you if you don't vote for me.  I'm not that crazy.  I repeat, I'm not that crazy.]

Or am I?