All pregnant brown women should be detained and waterboarded.
I’m going to tell you about something. Your first inclination might be to say, “Get the fuck out of here.” But no. I most certainly will not get the fuck out of here. Why? Because I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.
Are you ready?
You should sit down. You should also clear your immediate vicinity of anything that might spill, you should put down anything that might break, and you should swallow any liquid that may be in your mouth.
You’ve been warned.
OK, here we go:
Texas Representative Asshat Louie Gohmert (R [duh!]-TX [shocking!]) gave a speech on the House floor in which he — and I’m not kidding — warned that there is a Muslim baby conspiracy plot. Pregnant Muslim women are infiltrating the United States so they can give birth to their babies in this country, and then when the babies reach full adulthood terroristhood, these baby harbingers of terror, death, and destruction will be returned to their home country (Gohmert doesn’t specify where — presumably some scary place like Islamofascistan or Hawaii), where they will undergo rigorous training to hone their Terrorist Skillz.
And this is where it gets scary; these terrorists who have literally been bred for terror — these superterrorists, if you will — are going to return to the United States (because they were American-born, you see, and therefore can get all up inside America, hassle-free), and they are promptly going to blow our shit up:
According to Gohmert, the plan is that women would give birth to terrorist babies who can then return to wreak havoc on the US once they come of age.
“It appeared that [the terrorists] would have young women, who became pregnant, would get them into the United States to have a baby,” Gohmert said. “And then they would turn back where they could be raised and coddled as future terrorists.”
Gohmert cited a retired FBI agent as his inside source on the baby conspiracy plot.
“And then one day, twenty, thirty years down the road, they can be sent in to help destroy our way of life,” he said.
Gohmert also decried the federal government’s response to state actions against illegal immigration.
The Obama administration recently announced that they will file a lawsuit to strike down Arizona’s tough new immigration law.
Arizona may also introduce new legislation that targets “anchor babies” – a term for children of illegal immigrants.
The Texas Republican thinks these babies may destroy us in the end.
“They figured out how stupid we are being in this country to allow our enemies to game our system,” Gohmert said. “We won’t do anything about it we’ll even sue a state that tries to do something about it.”
ARE YOU LISTENING, CITIZENS!?!?
BROWN ANCHOR BABIES ARE GOING TO KILL US ALL!!!!!
This is happening, people. This is not a drill.
Look around you. Do you see any pregnant brown people? REPORT THEM. Their uteri contain the next Al Qaeda disciples! They are terrorists breeders! And they must be stopped at all costs.
[video of the asshattery and a bonus video after the jump]
As jessie74 (the author of the comment with the most “likes” on YouTube) said: “This idiot sounds a lot better if you press the little soccer ball.”***
Be careful if you detain one of these Muslim Terrorist Baby Breeders. These little suckers aren’t your regular-style fetuses. These are terrorist fetuses. And they are powerful.
***If you haven’t tried out YouTube’s new “vuvuzela” feature, just press the soccer ball. And then set yourself on fire because anything–including being on fucking fire–is better than that sound.