“Give me the money! I have a gun!” I mean, “Give me a honey bun!”
Some Masshole was charged with attempted robbery of a Dunkin’ Donuts. His defense? Better than the Twinkie defense. (Although not quite as awesome as the Chewbacca defense.) He claimed that he didn’t ask for all the money in the register because he had a gun. Oh no! He was just asking for the price of a honey bun. Pfft.
James M. Geremonte insists he just asked the clerk for the price of a honey bun.
But prosecutors allege what he really asked was for all the money because he had a gun.
Geremonte of Brockton was arraigned Friday on charges of attempted armed robbery in Brockton Superior Court and will stay in jail in lieu of $25,000 – at least for now.
He originally was arrested on the charge April 13 for what authorities said was the attempted armed robbery of a Dunkin’ Donuts in Brockton.
Assistant District Attorney Peter Maguire told Judge Paul Troy the suspect walked into the store, bought a coffee and then told the clerk he had a gun and to hand over the money. The suspect left the store without any cash and was eventually caught after a chase, Maguire said.
But Geremonte’s court-appointed attorney, Amanda Ward, said that’s not quite what happened.
“He said he asked for a honey bun, not ‘Give me the money. I have a gun,’” she said.
Geremonte has been convicted 23 times on other charges and has a long record, Maguire said. He argued for bail to be set at $25,000.
Ward said her client has a drug problem and asked that he be released on $1,000 bail and put in a treatment program rather than jail.
A drug problem? Probably. A no damn sense problem. Definitely.
(H/T justin sloe!)
What the article neglected to say was that the employee spoke very poor english at best.