“We do not approve.”
Dear Westboro Baptist Church,
What with all the press you’ve been getting because of your sign-wielding shenanigans, y’all must think y’all are the belle of the ball. Well listen up, Sparky. Let’s set something straight. We were here before you and we’ll be here long after you’re gone. So why don’t you just settle down for a minute and get your shit together.
You guys are totally lame. “God hates fags”? Protesting at funerals of fallen service members? Dudes, that’s weak sauce. Put a little effort into it.
For starters, get some damn costumes, for heaven’s sake. Do you see the gear we’re sporting?
They just don't make robes like this anymore.
The elegant pointiness of the hood and the whimsy of the tassel? The sleek lines? The perfectly circular eye holes? This is a robe that says, “I am somebody. And that somebody is an anonymous racist.”
And then there’s the parties. Hoo boy, the parties! Have you been to one of our gatherings? This isn’t some meeting of crazy people in the basement of some dank old church. We celebrate the beauty of God’s splendor; And then we set that splendor on fire.
We'd like to party like it's 1999, but we can't on account of Prince being black and all; so instead we're going to rock and roll all night and part of every day.
What are y’all about? You act like a bunch of idiots, carrying signs that say, “God hates fags.” Where’s the subtlety in that? It’s not like everyone isn’t fully aware that y’all think God hates fags. You don’t see us marching around with signs that say, “Black people aren’t our cup of tea.”
We’re about symbols. Legends. History. You see a pointy hood? A burning cross? You know you’re in KKK-town, baby.
A bit of advice: Y’all need to class it up. Late night initiation ceremonies. Fiery crosses. Did you know we have a Grand Wizard? Well, we do. A fucking wizard. I mean, who doesn’t love a wizard? No one. Just ask J.K. Rowling. Our Grand Wizard is aces. He’s Gandalf with a warm Hitlery center.
So that’s it. We just wanted to let you know. Frankly, you’re embarrassing us. Go out and lynch somebody. Get a posse together and go hunt some of these “fags,” the existence of which you bemoan ad nauseum. Honestly. You’re fucking amateur.
We do not approve.
Respectfully,
The Ku Klux Klan, LLC
[image via Buzzfeed]
[letter via my busted mind-head]
Have you checked out that particular KKK website? They're like hippie KKK guys. Non-violent beliefs and everything. WEIRD….
Would…would lol'ing at this be inappropriate?
can you imagine the planning meeting that went into their little “disclaimer”?
bubba: “y'all be thinkin' we needs to put up a dimsclimmer on our webzone so people ain't fixin' to mistook us fer dem westburra church folks?'
gump: “you sed it brother/uncle. let's tell jeb when he done gone and gots back from fishin' 'n lynchin'. he's da only one dat doned understoods the internut.”
bubba: “yeah.”
(pause)
bubba (cont.): “wanna go kill us a coon?”
gump: “yeeha!”
It would be inappropriate if you didn't!
A kinder, gentler KKK…
Wow, it’s great to see the KKK using words like “repudiate.”
Does this mean the KKK are going to come out for counter-protests now? (That sound you just heard was every self-serving photo journalist in North America having a simultaneous wet dream.)
Dear Sarah Palin,
Even the KKK knows the right word.
Kisses,
The World
HA!