Emphasis on “may not.” 
Well, since I’ve been all over the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James story like stink on shit (this pun will become funny in about 3 seconds), I might as well do my part to bolster more rumor mongering and gossip.
Ready? Set? EW!!!!!:
Cheating Jesse James filmed himself having sex with his superstar wife Sandra Bullock, according to a bombshell new report.
The alleged tape reportedly includes James smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler mustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s bottom with a shotgun in his left hand.
Hopefully that’s not true.
Yeah, you think? The source for this ridonkulous tale of poo and Nazis is Ian Halperin who has written a “tell all” book about everyone from James Taylor to Michael Jackson. So, pardon me if I don’t immediately believe the latest scatological nonsense from him.
Now, if it were Heidi Montag? Yeah. I’d believe it. Her Playboy cover is one indication that she’s got some shitty sensibilities. Besides, Jesus loves poo. Right, Heidi?
Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.(H/T straight cakin’ son!)
[via Showbiz Spy]
Okay, so I read this whole thing on Salon/Shapely Prose asking why Sandra hasn’t come forward to discuss the whole Nazi-dressing shenanigans of her soon-to-be-ex hushand, and it was somewhat critical. And I guess if said sex tape did in face exist, that might be a reason.
But I choose to believe it’s because Sandy’s trying to protect the step daughter from all this, or from her bad-mouthing the girl’s dad on TV. Yes, that is the image I am choosing to have…
linky loo?
pinky poo?
Nah, man. Sandy is TOTALLY into brown showers. Bitch is a straight FREAK.
you want it so hard to be true, tracer! ha!