Monthly Archives: March 2010

Rachel Maddow Runs Full Page Ad in Boston Globe. Why?

Because she’s KICK ASS + WIN.

For those of you who watch Rachel Maddow on the regular, you probably love her as much as I do.  This goes beyond a mere case of the lady hots (which I have for Kate Winslet and, also, Rene Russo circa Lethal Weapons 3 and 4 and Thomas Crown Affair).  I really might consider stalking her if I wasn’t so gottdamn lazy.

At any rate, the newly elected Senator from Massachusetts, Scott Brown (who, despite the “pretty pleases with a cherry on top” of Republicans nationwide, failed to derail health care reform–suck on that!) is using fear of a CRAZZZZZZY LIBRUL LEZZER SENATOR!!!111 to scare up some campaign donations:

This past Tuesday, Senator Scott Brown (R-Mass.) made news after he sent around a strange fundraising email, which suggested that the “chairman of the state Democratic Party had apparently tried to reach out to” MSNBC host Rachel Maddow, and “coax” her into a run for the Senate seat he currently occupies.

This was alarming news to Maddow, who has no plans to run for anything and has not, in any event, even been approached to consider such a move. And so, she took to the airwaves to issue some Shermanesque denials.

Rachel unequivocally denied the charge that she is running for office on her show the next day.  But Scott Brown continued to flap his gums.  When asked about the kerfuffle on a talk radio show, Brown said, “With all due respect, I’m going to continue to fight and do my job and work hard to do just that. And, er, bring her on. I don’t care.”

Rachel’s incredulous response? “Bring her on? Bring what on? I’m not running against you!”

Well, just to drive home the point that Scott Brown is a creepazoid stoopidhead, (and because Rachel is, as previously stated, KICK ASS + WIN), Rachel has taken her grievance straight to the Boston Globe–by way of a full page ad:

And that, y’all, is called KICKING YOUR ASS.

[video after the jump]

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Autistic Teen is the Only Person in the Universe with a Perfect Bracket

But he could have faked it.

While most people who took the time to fill out their March Madness brackets were screwed over by Kansas losing last weekend, one kid had a perfect bracket going in to today’s Sweet Sixteen games:

A 17-year old boy from Chicago, Illinois, has been the only person known to come forward with a 2010 NCAA perfect bracket! His name is Alex Hermann, and he claims the secret to his success is he likes numbers and is good at math. Hermann says he pays real close attention to the games and last season’s history, but was this perhaps a stroke of luck? I pay attention too, and that’s why I chose Kansas! But I was wrong, like most of you, and Alex has prevailed thus far.


To clarify, Alex Hermann correctly picked Cornell, Northern Iowa, Washington, and St. Mary’s (CA) to be right where they are. Unreal. So now the big question is, who did he pick to go all the way? His favorite of course, Purdue (where brother Andrew Hermann went to college). Hermann has predicted they’ll make it all the way to the NCAA Championship 2010, and take down Kansas State.

But Deadspin has a different story.  Apparently the kid’s bracket could easily have been faked:

Because he is 17, Alex did not enter one of the official CBS Sports contests, which are for money, and therefore closely regulated. His picks were entered in the “Bracket Manager,” which is simply a tool for homemade bookies to keep track of their pools. CBSSports.com fully admits that they don’t monitor or verify any of the brackets filled out there.

What’s more, is that the Bracket Manager allows the person running the pool—in Alex’s case, his brother—to change picks after games have already been played.

Just to be clear, there’s zero proof that Alex’s family is lying when they say that the picks were unaltered. No one has accused them of that and there would really be nothing for them to gain by doing so, beyond a few nice newspaper clippings. But there’s also no proof that his bracket was actually perfect on Thursday morning. Anyone could have created the same bracket themselves, at any point during the tournament, and passed it off as authentic. The mystery and mystique of the perfect bracket will remain just that, for now.

If he picked Cornell, a bunch of nerds, to be doing as well as they are, then somebody take that kid to Disney World.  (I’m not calling bullshit on his Kansas pick because the Jayhawks are a bunch of gottdamn choke artists!!  AND YET I PICKED THEM ANYWAY.  Sorry, I think I just had an aneurysm.)

But, if his family is trying to turn him into some publicity sensation, a la Balloon Boy, then I poop on them.

You can check out his perfect bracket here.

What do you think?  Did this kid pick the perfect bracket or not?

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

[via Gather and Deadspin]

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The Hills are alive with the sound of… wait… no… THE HILLS ARE DEAD!

Suck on that, Speidi!

My hatred for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt and everything they stand for is long and storied.  It’s almost an unhealthy obsession.  I can’t stand them.  I wish they would voluntarily die in a very hot fire.

Well, that hasn’t happened yet.  But their stupid ass show got cancelled, and that’s one more delicious nail in the coffin of their waning relevancy.

After six seasons of sex-tape rumors, Les Deux drama, and couture-filled trips to Paris, MTV and the producers of The Hills have decided it’s time for the sun to set on the reality phenom. “I think we’ve told the story of struggle and of finding yourself in L.A.,” creator Adam DiVello tells [Entertainment Weekly].  “A lot of these kids have found themselves and have certainly embarked on different careers and different paths.”

A lot of those kids have found themselves annoying the crap out of me and inciting me, on more than one occasion, to pee in my own eyes.

[via Litely Salted]

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Oh Snap! The Senate Will Return the Health Care Bill to the House for a Do-Over

Shit just got real.

Wow, this just happened!  Like 5 minutes ago.  I was sitting here listening to a Ricky Gervais podcast and my friend was all “whoa! did you see the news?”

And I was all “What news?” (What I actually said was “>??” because I wasn’t really paying attention to him) and he was all, House must re-vote on Obama’s newly enacted health care overhaul after Senate parliamentarian finds it violated budget rules and then I was like, “no wai!” and he was all, “wai!  hear all that gunfire?  that’s the gop celebratin’ with a little lynchin’!”

And then I laughed and laughed because racism is HILARIOUS.

But seriously.  This is happening.

WASHINGTON – The bill making changes in President Barack Obama’s newly enacted health care overhaul will have to go back to the House for final congressional approval, a spokesman for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said early Thursday.


Top Democrats had been trying to avoid the step.


Spokesman Jim Manley said Republicans consulting with the Senate parliamentarian had found “two minor provisions” that violate budget rules. The two provisions, dealing with Pell grants for low-income college students, will have to be removed from the bill.


Once those provisions are deleted and the Senate passes the measure, the House will have to approve the legislation before sending it to Obama for his signature. Manley said he was confident the House would do so with no problems.

This shit is bananas.  Fox News is going to crap its collective pants.  In a good way at least for them.  But we’ll have to smell it. And that’s bad for us. It’s bad for America. There will be much gloating, the Democrats are going to lose their minds, and Facebook will explode in a war of “That’s what Hitler said!”

Yeah, it’s gonna be pretty awesome, news-wise.

(H/T there will be blogs!)

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Ladies, Do Not Let a Plastic Surgeon Stick Caulk in Your Butt

For serious. 

This news is a bit old, but hey.  I didn’t hear about until yesterday.  Sorry, I’ve been busy obsessing about health care.  But this is tangentially related to health care!  So grab a hot cup of water and let this little bouillon cube of What the Fuck ooze meaty goodness in your mug.

A bunch of women in New Jersey have contracted some tissue and skin infections from, get this… letting some guy posing as a doctor insert their asses with household caulk, petroleum jelly, and other unknown materials.

Uh huh.

From the New York Post:

A black-market butt-enhancement “practitioner” is injecting New Jersey backsides with household caulk and other hazardous materials, according to New Jersey health officials who have alerted New York authorities to the rear and present danger.

Six Newark-area women in the last two months have been hospitalized with infections caused by injections of “a variety of unknown materials,” said New Jersey Health Department epidemiologist Dr. Tina Tan.

Officials said they believe the injected mixture includes silicone, petroleum jelly and hardware-grade caulk.

After botched efforts to plump their rear ends like naturally well-endowed celebs such as Kim Kardashian, the victim’s derrieres resembled “moonscapes” filled with lumps and craters, said a hospital source.

Ladies, come on now.  How’s a guy gonna enjoy your juicy double if it looks like cottage cheese?

You better hope you have some new and improved ObamaCare to fix that ass.  Dang.

[via AverageBro]

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Raptor Devours Basketball Cheerleader and then Runs Off

What the crap?

(H/T/ Cait!)

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Sandra Bullock's Husband Also Cheated on Her with a Stripper

Of course he did. Weird and foreshadowy photo

Not only was Jesse James banging some Nazi fetishist (Michelle McGee), but he was also having unprotected kinky sex with a stripper. The “kinky” part is fine. It’s the “unprotected” part that catapults him from adulterer to unbelievable asshole.

Melissa Smith is the latest to come forward and claim that she had a two-year affair with Jesse James for two years, beginning a mere one year after James and Sandra were married.

Come on, dude. Seriously? You’re married to Sandra Bullock (or to anyone, for that matter) and you’re going to have UNPROTECTED SEX WITH A FRIGGIN’ STRIPPER?!?!  Could you be more disgusting?

Star Magazine reports:

Like Michelle, Melissa first made contact with Jesse online. But he reached out to her via MySpace in September 2006 (a year after he married Sandra) when he saw a photo of her on the Web site posing in front of a car at a West Coast Choppers party in Long Beach, Calif.

“I got a message from this guy saying,’Nice car…that’s my godfather’s.’ After a few exchanges, he introduced himself as Jesse James and gave me his e-mail address with the name Vanilla Gorilla” — the nickname Jesse goes by and Michelle referred to as well.

Soon after Melissa traveled to California, where Jesse promised he’d take her for a ride in one of his cars, but they never made it out of his office!

After making small talk about the artwork on his walls and taking photos together, “I said, ‘Well, I guess I should get going,’ and he said, ‘You don’t have to,’ and moved his chair closer to me and started rubbing my leg. We ended up having sex on his couch,” Melissa details.

Ew.  Just.  Ew.

Now, according to People, James is trying to patch things up with Sandra.  ::spit take::  Seriously?  Good luck, dude.

As Jesse James struggles to cope with a family crisis he admits to creating, his top priority, a friend tells PEOPLE, is maintaining some normalcy in the lives of his three children.

“He would certainly love for this somehow to go away and that somehow things can be rectified and put back together,” the friend says. “The one thing that’s most important to him in the whole wide world is that his family comes back together. He will do whatever that takes.

What a noble guy he is to admit that he fucked up his family life buy screwing strippers and Hitler.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.
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Thoughts on Health Care: Part 3

A Mild-Mannered White Guy Tells the Facebook Community What’s What 

Facebook User:

@XXXX, Social Security was supposed to pay for itself too… how’s that going?

@XXXX, have you tried to purchase your own heath insurance? I just googled “buy health insurance” and it appears to me there are a lot of different places selling health insurance (for as little as $50 / month). When I was a college student, my wife and I bought our own health insurance to cover her just in case of pregnancy. We didn’t need it for that, but it helped when she broke her toe. One of the companies I worked for was a small business (less than 20 employees) and they managed to provide health insurance for all their employees. I don’t believe you have to be wealthy; you just have to make it a priority.

Mild-Mannered White Guy:

@XXXX – It’s going great, actually.


1. Social Security has been taking in more money than it’s been paying out for decades, and will continue to do so until 2016, when outlays become greater than revenues. But that’s OK, because there’s a huge surplus we’ve been building over time (and which has been accruing interest).


2. Based on a bunch of assumptions about growth and demographics, The Social Security Trust Fund doesn’t run out until 2037, and that’s according to this year’s trustee report which accounts for the current downturn. That’s 27 years.


There is no social security crisis. If, in 2030 the picture looks the same (i.e., demographics haven’t surprised us again), we can deal with it then by adjusting the rules, just like *Reagan* did in 1983 when we raised the retirement age to account for increasing life expectancies.


Social Security is an unmitigated success and has done so much to improve elderly quality-of-life that it’s hard to imagine our country without it. We can only hope the current reform does so well!


Regarding your $50/mo coverage –

I think those health insurance premiums you found are incredibly optimistic – to the extent a policy like that is available, it seems to have sky-high deductibles, and the kind of annual limits on benefits that make it all but worthless to its owner (and, incidentally, illegal under the current bill).


Even for young healthy men, the internet consensus seems to be you can scrape by on maybe $150/mo (which is an awful lot for somebody working part time or making minimum wage). If you’re older, or a woman, or (god-forbid) sick, the numbers spin out of control really, really fast. If you can get care at all.


But even if you’re right – even if health coverage can be purchased for $50/mo – that’s not an argument against this plan! It’s great news! It means freeloaders like you imagine @XXXX to be (which he’s not, incidentally) will have to finally chip into the pot and not take a free ride on the health care infrastructure you’re paying for. And to the extent that real-life premiums are higher than people can afford, they get some subsidies, but still have to pay the rest. Even your heroic small business owner will find it easier to give his employees insurance under the generous subsidies that kicked in today, and are designed to encourage entrepreneurialism and growth. Hooray!


Amongst other things, this bill is about accountability. It’s not OK anymore to not buy health insurance knowing you can always just go to the ER for treatment, or to wait until you get sick to start looking for coverage. Everybody is accountable. Everybody shares risk. This is a well-regulated insurance *market*. A risk-sharing pool that ensures universal access to basic health care, is fair to you and me (no moral hazard!), and cuts costs across the board.


Or at least it’s a really big step towards that. I, for one, am excited to build on this reform and make even more progress.

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Thoughts on Health Care: Part 2

A Mild-Mannered White Guy Tells the Facebook Community What’s What

Respondent:

@XXX are you on crack ! Socialism and Monopolies are two totally dif things. Guess you think deem and pass, was a good idea to, if it had come to that. How about fix the freeloader problem lane. And not start a new form of Welfare. Just about everything this Goverment runs is Broke or in the red, because they dont know how to manage it . O yea, but they got this.! Now they are going to sign this into law, and nobody fully understands how this will work, or if it will work. WTF its only 1/6 th of our nations economy they are playing with. Healthcare does need reform, but the Fedreal Gov should not be running it. Obama should have looked at fixing problems that this country already has, and less time on making new ones.

Mild-Mannered White Guy:

@XXXXX – to take your points one at a time.

1) There are only two ways I can think of to solve the freeloader problem. The first is to deny emergency healthcare to people (a) whose insurance does not cover it, or who (b) cannot afford insurance. The second is to ensure that everybody buys into the insurance pool, plus subsidies to help those who can’t afford the cost on their own (remember that we’re paying much more when we pay for uncovered treatment under the current system). The debate is basically whether or not you think basic healthcare is a right or a commodity. I believe it’s a right. If you believe it’s a commodity – i.e., that people should only be able to have it if they can afford it – then I am happy to have that debate with you.


2) What are you talking about when you say government will be running healthcare? In what way? The same exact companies and hospitals that administered care before will continue to do so now, as part of the same system. This is a law that says (a) we’re expanding the insurance pool because it’s more fair *and* more efficient, and (b) establishes a list of ways that insurance companies are no longer allowed to screw people. All of this is totally in line with the same regulatory role of government that keeps lead out of your water and unmaintained planes out of the air. The only thing the government is managing is a series of state exchanges that exist only as clearinghouses to help *you* shop for the cheapest plan. This is neither redistributive or top-down. It’s a market solution. It’s. Not. Socialist.


3) But while we’re on the subject, your conviction that the government is terrible at everything is a point of faith that too often goes unchallenged. Actually, the government is great at providing universal goods. To take your healthcare example: Medicare and the V.A. achieve superior patient outcomes for far less money than the private sector has ever managed. True, Medicare faces some financial challenges in the years ahead, but that has much more to do with demographics, the fact that we limit its ability to negotiate its own prices, and the overall cost of healthcare in America (all issues that this bill is intended to help address) than with any kind of mismanagement. In fact, Medicare “Advantage” plans, which are run by corporations for profit, are %17 *less* efficient than government-run Medicare.


4) Congress didn’t use deem and pass. This is a bill that passed with 60 votes in the Senate and 219 in the House. Attacking a hypothetical is unhelpful.


5) Yes, healthcare is 1/6 of our economy. That’s why this problem is so urgent! France’s healthcare system is far superior to ours by almost any reasonable measure (including customer satisfaction), and they spend less than 1/10. Can we do even better? Damn right we can. Does this plan fix everything? Absolutely not. But Obama is doing exactly what you say – trying to fix one of the biggest problems we have. This was a helluva start, and I’m fucking proud of it.

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