Yep. You Read Me Right. 
Um. I’m not even really sure what the appropriate response is to this. It’s just… well… what the crap?!
Yeah. Let that one sink into your mind-head for a minute.
“After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady. It shined like a disco ball so I have a whole chapter in there on how women should vagazzle their vajayjays.”
Look, we’ve all been through break ups. And they suck. I get it. But do what normal girls do. Go gain 15 pounds. Drink heavily. Go on a trip around the world and “find yourself.” Cut your hair. Dye your hair. Murder your ex-boyfriend and stash his body in the trunk of your pink Cadillac.
But, for the love of biscuits, DO NOT GLUE CRYSTALS ON TO YOUR LABIA.
And also, the next person that calls her “vagina” her “precious lady” is getting stabbed. In the neck. By me.
It’s vagina. VAGINA. It’s not a dirty word.
It’s OK by me if you go the Borat route and call it “vagine.” It makes it sound like a Morroccan appetizer. “I’ll have the couscous, the kebab, and a helping of the vagine. Don’t forget the pita bread!”
Video after the jump (head to the 2:40 marker if Madame Ghost Whisperer makes you stabby).
(H/T to WhoMee)
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b124/sloejams/smashysmashy.jpg?t=1263507027
Heh? Precious lady?!?
I will accept the term Yoni, if absolutely necessary. But that “precious lady” crap is just utterly sillah. As in~ too ridiculous to even say silly with a straight face.
And all this from a secret Ghost Whisperer watcher…
i thought vagina bedazzling was all the rage? am i not supposed to be painting my cha cha either? what are the rules these days?
when i lay on my side i can make it talk!
what?
I wish I could like this comment. Because I do.
I’m not getting over this any time soon. I keep coming back to this and gawking.
My jaw dropped open when I saw this clip yesterday.
For serious???? You’re gluing fricking cut crystal – CHUNKS OF FACETED GLASS – to your VAGINA?? And this is supposed to make you feel SEXY??
Shit. Well, I’m not going to stop there. Jamie Kennedy’s gurrrl isn’t going to out-foxy the SeaKat! NO SIRREEE.
Give me the hot glue gun, some glitter and that barbed wire. Oh! And some aspirational images I’ve cut out from Redbook, Glamour and The Economist. I’m about to get sessy up in here. Or down there.
WHATEVS.
I CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO COMMUNICATE CLEARLY WHILST DECOUPAGING MY SNATCHAL REGION!!!!
Hilarious SK.
That comment alone should win ABLC’s First EVAH Award.
Or maybe everyone is a winner here.
DECOUPAGING MY SNATCHAL REGION. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
sloe, that link is the hilarious.
also, “decoupaging my snatchal region” is uh-mazing.
I really curious to know what this will do to the sales of Swarovski Crystal.
PO(W)B – do you think they’ll go down?
Ha. I’ll let that sink in for a moment…
bwaaahaaaa. i <3 seakat.
seakat will be here all week. tip your waitresses!
Awww, thanks incognigro!!! I <3 you, too!!
Psst – thanks for picking up the slack for me – I was off watching the SeaCannibal (can I still call her that, even if we’re not on the ‘Squee?) sing at a school MLK JR assembly.
Watching 60 five year olds singing “We Shall Overcome” is both touching and utterly hilarious.
Lopez looks like he’s trying not to burst out in hysterics! Love how she’s ‘um, smile, hair flip, smile, heh, um’ and *trying* to be sensationalistic…. is that the right word? i’m at a loss. it’s too much.
I’m having trouble thinking of more unpleasant things to do with one’s vagina.
God I hope this doesn’t become the new rage. I mean, come on. Shaving is annoying enough. I don’t think I could deal with having to compete with other vaginas, disco-ball-wise.
Is anyone else just SUPER CURIOUS about who the poor friend might be?
I’ve come up with several scenarios:
*Beleaguered female personal assistant having a total FML moment
*Hopeful male personal assistant who was hopeful it would lead to more and pissed when it didn’t
*Gay male friend who thought it was campy fun and totally hilarious
*Straight female friend after a few too many drinks…halfway through she sobers up and feels totally weird
*Straight female friend after a few too many drinks…halfway through she realizes she’s actually turned on. JLH squeals and pretends her friend is joking, because she’s an equal-opportunity tease.
Clearly, I’ve given this WAY too much thought.
Frankly, I’m almost positive that the first option is the right one… because I just can’t really imagine JLH having friends that aren’t on her payroll.
SeaKat is my FAVORITEST EVER.
Decoupaging My Snatchal Region is an excellent name for a song.
Holy Crap!
I’m sorry. I’m a longtime Pajiba lurker and I’m about to go all fangirl for a moment. This won’t be pretty. I’m sorry.
ANNA VON BEAVERHAUSEN SAID SHE LIKES ME! ME! SHE NOTICED ME!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAA!! I’M NEVER WASHING THIS COMPUTER AGAIN!!!
::faints dead away::
shine on you coochtastic diamond
Um. wtf? She was my celebrity crush for a while growing up. I love disco balls and pussay, but vagazzle and precious lady are huge turn-offs. Why JLH? Why!
Couldn’t you just leak a porn like normal celebs?
“I love disco balls and pussay,” FTW.
Okay I thought of something else. Kelis has crystals on her teeth. Fair to assume she is also vagazzled?