Heather Mills, take off your leg and slap yourself with it. 
Heather Mills, that whiny dipshit who fleeced Paul McCartney to the tune of 48.7 MILLION dollars during their divorce proceedings can’t seem to shut her pie hole. She’s all “waah waah, woe is me, I’m so misunderstood and somebody done stole my leg.”
Well this time, she has gone too far:
Heather Mills has said that she can identify with Mahatma Gandhi – because of the persecution they both have endured in their bid to tell the truth. The ex-wife of Sir Paul McCartney has also compared herself to Malcolm X and Martin Luther King.
“They were people who went through controversy to put the truth forward and they weren’t afraid to fight and I can relate to that completely,” Contactmusic quoted her as telling her local newspaper in Brighton.
Malcolm? Martin? Gandhi? He who advocated that people strive to simplify their lives by dispossessing themselves of material things?
Render unto me a break, lady.
Well if Heidi Montag gets to compare herself to Mother Teresa then why can’t Heather Mills compare herself to Gandhi? And on a similar note… I would like to publicly state that I am a modern day Einstein.
I bet she’s gonna compare herself to Lance Armstrong next because she was in Dancing with the Stars. I still don’t understand why useless assholes try to bring genuine accomplished heroes down to their level, cuz sure as shyte they’ll never reach theirs. Pitiable really.
BTW, CM you could totally be the modern Einstein!
I’d like to liken myself to the modern Nietzsche.
Oh! Oh! I want to play! I missed out on the “Which Celebrity Would You Be” because, well, this is the only place I get celebrity news so half the time I don’t actually know who ya’ll are writing about.
But this? Which Philosopher/Peace Maker/Great Thinker Would You Be? I’m ON it.
Sojourner Truth.
My problem is that if positive exaggerations are acceptable, then negative ones should be also.
I should be able to compare her to a pirate without repercussions.
bfm: Because of the leg thing or because of what she did to Paul?
I’m Bill Cosby and everybody knows that cosbiness is next to godliness.
Wait… maybe I’m god! but I hate cleaning. maybe I’m half god and half mr. clean… which makes me a pirate since mr. clean wears that gold hoop.
kick ass… I got to pirate in less than six degrees.
who needs to graduate now, bitchez?!
YAAAAARGH!!!
Donna Maaaaaartin graduated!! Aaaaaaare you kidding me?!
No I aaaaaaare not!
What?! no I will NOT return my diploma!!
Hahahahaha DM you are on a roll, please continue typing your internal monologue as it happens…
yeah i think DM said it all, i’m movin on to the next post ;)
Oh for fucks sake, I hate her right in the face! She just makes me want to beat her senseless with that fake leg of hers.
Why don’t you compare yourself to Black Beard you whiny bitch? At least you guys can borrow each others legs.
Yeah, that was mean, but I’m only mean to people like her. I wouldn’t say that to or about anyone else.
“Why don’t you compare yourself to Black Beard you whiny bitch? At least you guys can borrow each others legs.”
that.was.brilliant.
I like DM’s internal monologue’s as well. I’m officially on the DM bandwagon.
Also, I’d like to compare myself to Joan of Arc…because…wait for it…wait for it…I’m on fire! Hey-oh!
HA HA HA DM! I completely forgot about Nietzsche allegedly being syphillitic. Which I am proud to say has not been the case since my last visit to Korea. One thing the army will never run out of is penicillin.
drgnsldr, I was stationed in Korea as well! Although, I’ve never had to use the clinic for that purpose, I sure as hell had plenty of soldiers that did.
yeah, I was joking about the STD, I took full advantage of the massive jar of condoms at the clinic’s reception room…..”An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”…. Truer words were never spoken.