Happy Unbirthday President Obama! 
Questions continue to swirl in the minds of the utterly batshit crazy regarding Obama’s place of birth and whether or not he is qualified to be President. Apparently a shit ton of Republicans in this country either don’t believe that Obama was born in Hawaii, or aren’t sure whether he was born in Hawaii. A.SHIT.TON. And something like 100% of that shit ton live in the South. LOOK IT UP!
Such moronical morons are represented by the likes of this random commenter on some blog I just looked at which I will not source because if I do, the terrorists will win:
What’s wrong with the truth?
Obama is an illegal alien, he should not be running for President.
We know why Obama wants to give amnesty to 30 million illegals like himself.
This guy, assuming he is a male, is a total fraud.
YEAH! He’s an illegal alien! An illegal alien who will be attacking your rectal region with a probe! Congress is stoopid! How did they not figure out this guy isn’t even a citizen? And you know what else? He’s not even a male! He’s WORSE– DUDE MIGHT BE A LADY! And Cruise knows that there’s no way no lady-man would ever have been elected president! Just look at what happened to Billary Clinton!!!!!11111one
(Sometimes it’s fun to give in to the stoopid. Try it? It’s like a drug. Rush Limbaugh knows–he’s off the oxy and on the stoopid!)
So, recently, two more Obama birth certificates surfaced. The first birth certificate is from Kenya and Orly Taitz–that crazy Zsa Zsa Gabor lookin’ lady who claims to be a lawyer-slash-dentist-slash-real estate agent–is trying to get it authenticated in court in Alan Keyes’ lawsuit against Obama. Pfft… Alan. Seriously. The Committee has been requesting for months now that you turn in your Black People Card. You and Michael Steele are forthwith banned from our next Chicken Fry and Watermelon Ho Down. You’ve been warned.
At any rate, it took less than 48 hours for Orly McCrazypants’ document to be confirmed a forgery. Hell, it’s so fake that even the “sane faction” of the Birther Movement is backing away slowly from Crazy Taitz, all the while holding up a spoon, hoping to distract her with its shininess. I mean, seriously, Crazy Lady? SERIOUSLY?
First of all, the certificate states that Obama was born in Mombasa in 1961–Mombasa wasn’t even a part of Kenya in 1961; it was a part of Zanzibar. Second, the birth date for Obama’s father is wrong. Third, the birth certificate is certified by someone named E.F. Lavender (which is also a brand of detergent– “Earth Friendly Lavender”). And finally, the birth certificate is a copy of the birth certificate of some dude in Australia, with information changed to make it appear to be Obama’s certificate. Come on, now. If you’re going to forge a document, get your facts and research straight. Is there no honor among crazy ass people anymore?
The second birth certificate that recently has come to light is from…Canada.
Oh please. Like anyone is really from Canada. They’re so hopped up on syrup up there that they all think they’re from Canada, but really they are all immigrants from Puerto Mexico. Just like Sonia Sotomayor! Olé, eh! Adiós, you hoser!
Well, this here Angry Black Lady has no doubts regarding Obama’s true nature. And, anyone who is a sentient being shouldn’t have any doubts either. He was either born in Hawaii, died in Canada, and was reborn in Kenya. (Hey, he is the Messiah after all, right?) OR…
he’s a fracking zombie.
I have no evidence to support that statement, which means it should be airing on Fox News in 3… 2… 1…
Sigh.
Happy Birthday, President Obama.
Or should I say, Happy Easter?
Umm. Yep. Teh stoopidz have teh tenacity.
Said in best Homer Simpson voice:
“A zombie? But did he become a zombie on US soil? That’s all I care about. We don’t want any of those foreign zombies running the show.”
hilarimer!
He’s not the messiah, he’s the ANTICHRIST, remember??
Also, since you took TWO black cards, can I take one spot at the chicken fry? I’m not black, but if necessary, I can get a birth certificate that says I’m from Mombasa.
AdAd: hahahahahahaha!
ha! nicely played AdAd!
you can definitely come. vee hav vays ov making you black.
woot woot!
The asians said the same thing. I had to smoke a lot of reefer, but I got my asian card. I plan on running for President once I’ve collected all 5.
Shit, if he’s illegal for being born in Hawaii, what does this mean for me? I’m Puerto fricking Rican. Is our little island a bastard too? Who’s willing to harbor me and my spawn?
ahahahaha. to both AdAd and cookie.
Wait, is it actually his birthday? Or just one of his fake ones?
it’s his 48th birthday today.
Is it totally neurotic of me to feel freakishly unaccomplished at the thought that he’s only 13 years older than me? I mean, I do realize this comment makes President Barack Obama’s 48th birthday all about me, but still.
Sigh. 35 years old and not remotely close to being President. I’m never going to amount to anything.
Hey cookiebee, half the gringos in the U.S. don’t know that Puerto Rico is a commonwealth, much like massachusetts. they just pick on us from La Isla because we keep sending crap like ricky martin and menudo. We’ve only started to make up for our faux pas with J-Lo’s ass (not the whole person, just her bubbly badonk-adonk) and Sotomayor. It will be awhile before we start making arroz con gandules as common as pizza in new york.
When Obama was first elected…just 9 short months ago today, I felt incredibly validated. My birth father is from Ethiopia and my birth mother is, well, pretty much Scando-Minnesotan. I was born and raised in Minnesota to a chorus of “What are you? Where are you from?” I still get that and never quite know what to say. When I answer that I’m from Minnesota they just deny me saying, “No, no, ORIGINALLY.”
Yes, gently-caresswads. There are brown people born in Minnesota…ORIGINALLY.
So I kinda take all this birther crap personally. What they’re really saying is if you’re not white you’re not really what the founders had in mind as a REAL American.
these birthers are the biggest hypocrites to walk the face of this continent, I mean, unless your family was hunting buffalo when the mayflower popped in with their pale faces and small pox, you are an immigrant. These dooshes just use the vaccuum of stupidity to spread their message. anyone with measurable activity between their ears is going to know better or not care.
It’s merely the GOP behaving like a petulant child. They don’t weild the power they once had and are pissed about it. Rush Limbagh said on his show (back when Bush was president), “Democrats just need to sit down, shut up and let us run things. They can have an opinion when they elect someone”. Well, now they have and everyone’s in a tizzy. I’ll be the first to admit that I understand thier frustration; it’s got to be hard when you’re used to being the captain of the football team and suddenly finding yourself on the bench picking up dirty towels full of crotch sweat.
Let’s not talk about what we haven’t accomplished yet..
Rev. you’re a Rev. That’s a HUGE accomplishment from my eyes. You sort of amounted to a really cool person, TMIMO.
The Hags and Squeers tend to attract the good people who don’t quite get how good they are. I wish everyone would read Outliers and realize we all walk our own paths based on the opportunities in our lives, and how we use them. And sometimes our greatest accomplishments come later than sooner.
At least, I hope so. I always want to feel like the best is yet to come…I’d hate to think it was already behind me.
Happy belated birthday zombie president. I think eating all those brains is why he is super intelligent.
Rev. Random…Both of my parents are immigrants and my dad`s advice is to just say you`re Canadian when someone asks what your nationality is. Well in your case, you`d say American, but you could say you`re Canadian and follow it up with “aboot“ and “eh“ to prove it and I`m sure people would stop asking.
Oh Hobo, I like your positivity. Maybe we need some daily affirmations around here.
And too think that batshit crazy ass, welfare grabbin’ Michele Bachmann held a quorum….(a fucking quorum, smdh!!!!) on the House floor in 2009 too say that Hawaii wasn’t a state.
These people are crazy, I try not to allow these crazy ass rwnj’s too come any where near me, I shut them down. They’ll get a “fuck u” faster then they’ll get a ‘handshake’ from me with no apologies.