Monthly Archives: June 2009

Daryl Hannah Arrested!

But for a good reasonts-daryl-hannah

Former mermaid and eye patch enthusiast Daryl Hannah, along with NASA climatologist James Hansen and 31 other do-gooders, was arrested yesterday for obstructing officers and impeding traffic after sitting in the middle of a road outside Massey Energy’s Goals Coal preparation plant.  She was protesting mountaintop removal in southern West Virginia as a part of a civil disobedience campaign to abolish the anti-environmentally friendly practice,

Hannah addressed a crowd of miners at the plant:

“I’d like to thank all of the miners for all of the work you’ve done powering America…But there is no need to destroy our planet to power our future.”

It wasn’t the first green-related arrest for Ms. Hannah.  In 2006, she was arrested for chaining herself to a walnut tree which was to be demolished to make space for a warehouse in Los Angeles.

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Mondegreens: My Own Worst Enemy

My Own Worst Enemy, Litmondegreen1

Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk
I didn’t mean to call you fat that
I can’t remember what was said or what you threw at me
Please tell me
Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And I’m sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
And you’re gone

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As Between Being a Garish Liar or a Drunk Ass…

Always go with “drunkass”ts-starface1

Remember that dumbass eighteen-year-old girl, Kimberley Vlaminck who went into a tattoo parlor and asked for three stars under her left eye, but ended up with 56 stars all over her damn face?

And remember how she claimed she told the tattoo artist in French and English (the tattoo artist didn’t speak either language) that she wanted  only three stars, then fell asleep, and was shocked when she awoke to “this nightmare”–she looked in the mirror and saw that there were 56 stars all over her face?

How utterly horrified she was, calling the tattoos–“the graffiti that has ruined my life.”  “It is terrible for me,” she cried. “I cannot go out on to the street, I am so embarrassed. I just look horrible.” A Belgian psychologist agreed: “The trauma this girl must be feeling is indescribable. She feels like a circus freak– and no wonder, because she looks like one.

Ouch.

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Jon and Kate Plus 8 Future Wards of the State

This is me not caring.

ts-jon-and-kateI don’t watch Jon and Kate Plus 8. Never have. But they are all over the dang news and they are hard to ignore. So here’s your latest Jon and Kate news. They are ovah! They are getting a divorce after ten years of marriage. Color me surprised.

Kate Gosselin is running around trying to make her hairstyle the most popular hairstyle since the Rachel haircut swept the nation during the Friends craze.  Meanwhile, Jon Gosselin has joined the ranks of the Ed Hardy douchebags, and is rumoUred to be banging the nanny. Klassy.

ts-jon-gosselin_makover

Those eight little Gosselings are totally hosed.  And, the downfall of their parents’ marriage has been documented by TLC, which will come in handy for future therapy sessions.

More pictures after the jump.

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Angry Black Lady Chronicles: Limbaugh Knows Best

The Universal Health Care Debate According to Rush Limbaugh ts-exercise-art

As the debate about universal health care (also known as socialized medicine, commie health care, pinko health care, deathcare, Islamo-fascist health care, and turrorist health care) kicks into high gear, Washington is all abuzz about what Obama is planning to do.  Will he require everyone to be insured?  Will he institute some sort of black ops covert paramilitary program under which black helicopters will circle every residence, offloading paratroopers who will fall from the sky, knock on your door, and demand to see your health insurance card?  Will it be single payer?  Will it be employer-based?  Will it be a health co-op?

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PS22 Chorus: Just Dance

PS22 Chorus Sings Lady Gaga

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Alice in Wonderland

Looks good so far…

ts-aliceusatoday11Here are some promo shots of Tim Burton’s upcoming Alice in Wonderland starring Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, and Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen of Hearts.  The movie also stars Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, and Stephen Fry, and is slated to be released sometime in 2010.  With such a strong cast, I  hope the movie will be fantastical in its awesomitude.  I really didn’t enjoy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; it was too weird for me.  Or maybe I hadn’t taken enough LSD when I saw it.  And by “enough” I mean “any.”

What’s your take on Burton’s trip down the rabbit hole?

More pictures after the jump.

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Hey! You Got Milkyway on Your Face!

No, not the candy bar. THE GALAXY!ts-starface1

In Courtrai, Belgium last week, 18-year-old Kimberley Vlaminck–likely with a mischievous twinkle in her eye– got wasted, walked into a tattoo parlor, passed the fuck out, and woke up seeing stars.  On her face.  Tattoos. 56 of them. Permanent ink tattoos.  Homegirl only wanted threeeeeee stars!!!  Not fifty-siiiiiiix!!!

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Obama: Flygate

PETA Freaks Out.ts-fly1

Oh come on now, PETA.  Y’all do a lot of good for animal rights, but then you undermine your admirable goal by doing shit that is really just absurd.

Yesterday during Obama’s interview with CNBC, a pesky fly starting flying about Obama’s face.  So he did what any normal person would do when confronted with an annoying fly–he swatted that fucker dead.


I saw this on the TV last night and said “Uh oh.  Here comes the ‘Obama hates animals’ meme.”  Of course, PETA did not let me down.  PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich had this to say:”We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals. We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals.”

After stating that PETA was happy with Obama’s voting record on animal rights, he said,  “Swatting a fly on TV indicates he’s not perfect, and we’re happy to say that we wish he hadn’t.”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

I wonder what PETA’s position on animal on animal abuse is.  This cat clearly has it in for flies:

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