Those Mexicans! They Took Our Jerbs!

And now they’re infecting us with Pig AIDS!

After I watched the Summer Olympics opening ceremony, I was certain that the Chinese were going to take over the world, which, when you think about it, wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.  It probably would mean that soup dumplings would be available on every street corner.  And who doesn’t love a delicious soup dumpling?  No one, that’s who.

But now, Fox News and its ilk are trying to convince me that it’s Mexicans who are the evil geniuses.  First, they come over here and take our jerbs.  Next, they pour a bunch of drugs over the border to get us all hooked in order to pacify us so the jerb-takers can do their… er… jerbs.

And now, the Mexicans are in cahoots with Al-Qaeda which bioengineered this “swine flu,” (or H1N1 virus as Obama, who has obviously been bought by Babe and his BAA-RAM-EWE Coalition, now calls it) and then strapped it to the lungs of immigrants who then swam over, hopped the fence, and immediately coughed in the face of the first “real American” they saw.

Here are some gems from conservative nit-wits:

Radio host and unrepentant douchebag, Neil Boortz (remember when he referred to New Orleans as a city of “worthless parasites,” and then laid the blame for Katrina at the feet of New Orleans residents for not getting out of the way of the water?) has begun calling the swine flu the “fajita flu.”  Boortz also suggested the “fajita flu” was a bioterrorist plot, asking,

“What better way to sneak a virus into this country than to give it to Mexicans?”

Michael Savage, Member of the Insane Assclown Posse, bought into the bioterrorist plot nonsense:

“There is certainly the possibility that our dear friends in the Middle East cooked this up in a laboratory somewhere in a cave and brought it to Mexico knowing that our incompetent government would not protect us from this epidemic because of our open-border policies.” He also suggested that Islamo-fascists might have known that Mexicans “are the perfect mules for bringing this virus into America.”

Darth Doosh, Rush Limbaugh seems to think this all part of Obama’s fascist socialist neo-Marxist commie plan:

“All of this is by design. It’s designed to get people to respond to government orders. … It is designed to expand the role and power of government and schools, and the media just falls right in line with it.”

Fox News crybaby and all-around nutjob, Glenn Beck thinks the whole swine flu business was designed to get Kathleen Sebelius confirmed as Health and Human Services secretary:

“She can be confirmed right out of the gate because of this swine flu. So don’t look over here, look at the swine flu, look at the swine flu, look at the swine flu. And she just goes right through the gate.”

I swear to Cruise, these people are all out of their goddamn minds.

Here’s a little South Park levity to ease the growing pressure in your brain because if you’re like me, your head is about to explode, replode, and omniplode:

Roo ta too too terb!!!