Her ego is a super-ego
In this week’s GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow talks to us about… you guessed it… eating! In this week’s entry, however, she isn’t extolling her love of butter and goose fat. Rather, she’s done us the favor of providing us with recipes for people who “care about the size of their butt.”
K, wait a second Gwyneth. You’re impossible. I ate the poussins, I made the lava cake, I ingested the goose fat drenched in hollandaise, and NOW you’re telling me I should care about the size of my butt? You duplicitous hussy.
Jessica Simpson took time away from being inappropriately fondled by her father to 
In horrifying news that had the women of New Jersey on the verge of packing up their bags, grabbing their hairy vaginas, and getting the hell out of dodge, the state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling considered a 
Uh oh, y’all! Radiohead done did it now! Radiohead make Miley mad! And you no likey Miley when she’s mad!
In news that will have every woman reaching for her chastity belt, locking that shit on, melting down the key into pill form, and then downing that little metal pill with a shot of tequila and a beer chaser, some Dumb Ass Fucking Lady decided it would be a good idea to use a chainsaw as a sex toy.
