In which Gwyneth Paltrow runs our lives
I’m sure you’ve all heard, at some point, about GOOP, the “lifestyle” website and newsletter created by Gwyneth Paltrow. Its premise is fairly simple: Gwyneth provides readers with invaluable guidance in how to live, what to see, things to eat, and what to buy. So basically, she micromanages us worse than our mothers, but in a much less practical fashion.
Gwyneth, I don’t doubt that your heart is in the right place, but your advice sucks. And I think, each week, I’m going to devote some time to examining just how much.
Your sexy sexyback.
I’m sitting at work, minding my own business; trying to hammer out a bunch of work so I can go home to my husband, Glenlivet, and my phone rings. Now, I normally do not pick up the phone unless I recognize the number. And even then, I’m unlikely to pick up the phone because I hate talking on the phone. HATE.IT.
Can’t get enough of that musky barnyard scent? Are you ready to explore interspecies love, but don’t have the haggis to arrive unannounced at the pasture where sheep are 
